8 Bit Academy
by The Goon
Summary: In the elite 8 Bit academy, four students are selected to be Light Warriors who will save the world...and their school. Features characters from 8 Bit Theater and from other Final Fantasy titles.
1. 01:Normal School Life, Big Destiny

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. This new story of mine features the cast of 8 Bit Theater, as well as some regular, non 8 Bit characters from the official Final Fantasy series. Hope you all enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own 8 Bit Theater or Final Fantasy.**

* * *

**Day 34, on the school calendar**

The bright afternoon sun shined over the elite 8 Bit Academy, where all 8 bit characters reside. Here, there were different social classes based on the species they were, such as Human, Elf, etc. Our story is about an unlikely group that comes from different classes.

"Come on, Black Mage!" said Fighter running down the halls, "We're going to be late for our Ethics and Morals class!"

"Yeah," said Black Mage, "Wouldn't want _that_ to happen!"

"Of course not!" said Fighter, "That's why we have to hurry!"

Fighter ran to class with Black Mage dragging himself along behind him. Ethics and Morals was the last class of the day, but far from Black Mage's favorite class. Mainly because ethics and morals were not his thing, but also because of one particular classmate of his…White Mage. Even though he had a crush on her, it still pissed him off that she dragged on about purity and chastity.

"I've made it my goal to make sure she loses her virginity this year!" said Black Mage.

"But that doesn't mean she'll lose it to _**you**_!" said Fighter.

Of course, Fighter meant that in a serious way, but to Black Mage, that was an insult. He heard chuckling behind him. Two of the other students, Thief and Red Mage, were chuckling behind him.

"Wow, Black Mage," said Thief, "Fighter just owned your ass with that burn!"

"And you've got nothing left to say to him, Black Mage!" said Red Mage, cracking up.

"Well," said Black Mage, "You have an ugly face!"

"Wow," said Thief, "Is that the best you could come up with?"

"…Yes," said Black Mage.

"Come on, Black Mage!" said Fighter.

Black Mage and Fighter walked in the door just as the bell rang. They sat on each side of White Mage, with Black Belt sitting behind her. The teacher, , got ready to begin class.

"Alright, students," said Mr. Swordopolis, "We will pick up where we left off yesterday…Tidus, you were reading us your report on the issues in our government when the bell rang. If you could please resume your reading…"

"Sure thing," said Tidus, getting out of his seat with his report. Once he cleared his throat, he started to read, "How has the government played a role in helping us recover from a devastating war?..."

While Tidus was continued reading his report, Black Mage made a paper airplane out of a note he wrote, and threw it to the right of him onto White Mage's desk.

"I'm going to regret reading this, aren't I?" White Mage asked herself.

She opened the note from Black Mage, which said, "Are you from Venus?" White Mage took out a pink pen and responded with, "No. Why?" She threw the paper airplane back to Black Mage, who after reading it, wrote something down and threw it back to White Mage. She opened it and saw that Black Mage had responded with, "Cuz baby, your ass it outta this world!" She crumpled the note and threw it at Black Mage's head.

Once class was over, Black Mage received a whack on his head from White Mage's hammer. As she walked away, Fighter cracked up.

"Oh, Black Mage," he said, "When are you going to learn that no matter what you do, she will always hate you?"

Black Mage pulled out his knife to stab Fighter, but missed horribly when Fighter saw a sword at the other end of the hall and ran right towards it. He ran right past Mr. Swordopolis, who was on his way to a staff meeting downstairs. He entered the door to the meeting room, where all of the other employees were currently at. There were the teachers, maintenance, and the administrators. The only one who was missing was the principal himself, but he never appeared before anyone. The only person who knew who the principal is was Vice Principal Sarda, and he never told anyone.

"This meeting will come to order," said Sarda.

All the employees looked up at Sarda. The meeting had officially begun.

"The principal and I have agreed on who the prophesized Light Warriors are," said Sarda, "but first, we need to prove to you that it really is them!"

"But how will we know who they are?" asked Cid.

Cid was another staff member at 8 Bit Academy, even though he was part of the half that was not 8 bit. He taught a Mechanics class that specialized in ships.

"The principal has used some of his powerful magic to create replicas, in a way, of the Light Warriors," said Sarda, "Their clothes may be a little different, but their skills are that of raw power!"

"Okay, but that doesn't answer my question," said Cid, "That proves that they're capable of being the Light Warriors, but who _are_ the Light Warriors?"

"My apologies, Cid, I must have misunderstood," said Sarda, "If the principal and I are correct, then the Light Warriors are the students known as Fighter, Black Mage, Thief, and Red Mage!"

"Fighter always was my favorite student," said Mr. Swordopolis, "Even if he doesn't have the best grades in my class."

"But how could Black Mage and Thief be Light Warriors?" asked Cid, "They're both troublemakers and have evil in each of them!"

"And as for Red Mage," said Leon, who was the P.E coach and the youngest staff member in the academy, "he takes a little too much pride in himself to have the humility it takes to be a Light Warrior."

"I assure you all that they will come through," said Sarda, "and to prove it to you, I will have the Light Warrior Replicas dispatched to challenge the Light Warriors!"

"Well then I guess that's that, then," said most of the staff members.

"This meeting is adjourned!" said Sarda.

As the other staff members left, Sarda stepped into the principal's office, which was really more like a throne room than an office. The entire room was pitch black except for the red carpet that led to the antique throne. The mysterious figure sitting in the antique throne was none other than the Principal of 8 Bit Academy.

"How did it go, Vice Principal Sarda?" asked The Principal.

"I think it went well," said Sarda, "I made the announcements about the Light Warrior Replicas, and I think now is a good time to send them out on their first challenge!"

"Or if those young students really are the Light Warriors," said The Principal, "their _only_ challenge!"


	2. 02: Never Good to be Called Out

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Here is Chapter 2 of 8 Bit Academy, and I hope you enjoy it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own 8 Bit Theater or Final Fantasy**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the soon-to-be Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

* * *

**Day 35**

It was first lunch at 8 Bit Academy. Black Mage was looking for where White Mage was sitting today in an attempt to hit on her. She usually sat at the end of one of the tables closest to the door, so he sat around that area waiting for her. But instead, Fighter came, with Red Mage and Thief following behind.

"Black Mage! Black Mage! You got here first!" said Fighter.

"Go away, Fighter!" said Black Mage, "I'm waiting for White Mage!"

"We can both wait for her!" said Fighter, sitting himself down next to Black Mage.

Thief and Red Mage sat down across from Fighter and Black Mage. Red Mage then dropped his napkin and went to pick it up. But when he got back up, his fries were gone.

"What the? Who ate my fries?" he asked.

Red Mage turned to Thief, who was wiping his mouth, and had just swallowed something.

"Thief," said Red Mage, "Did you, by any chance, steal my fries?"

"I can honestly tell you I did _not_," said Thief.

Red Mage looked back down at his tray, still suspicious of Thief, but still began eating what was left on his tray, which was a bucket of chicken tenders and water.

"Technically, _eating_ your fries doesn't count as _stealing_ them," said Thief in a low voice.

"You did it again!" said Black Mage.

"What?" asked Thief.

"That thing where you whisper something clever that proves you did something!" said Black Mage.

"Can you prove it?" asked Thief.

"I saw your mouth moving!" said Black Mage.

"But can you prove I said anything about stealing Red Mage's fries?" asked Thief.

Black Mage stayed silent for the moment. He thought about that question, but responded with, "Yeah, I got nothing."

Fighter picked up his sandwich and took out the toothpick that they always put in the middle of the sandwich.

"You know what would make this better?" asked Fighter.

"What?" the others asked.

"If they put swords in the sandwiches instead of toothpicks!" said Fighter.

The others all groaned. Suddenly, the intercom turned on and an announcement was made.

"Will the following students please report to my office after lunch," said Sarda over the intercom, "Fighter, Black Mage, Thief, Red Mage, White Mage, and Black Belt."

"Oh boy!" said Fighter, "I bet he'll give us something really good!"

"Yeah, being called out in front of half the school to report to the _vice principal's office_ is always a good sign," said Black Mage sarcastically.

* * *

Later in the hallway, Fighter, Black Mage, Thief, and Red Mage all walked down the short, bright hallways to Sarda's office.

"I wonder what Sarda wants," said Red Mage.

They would soon find out. As soon as they approached his door, White Mage and Black Belt stepped out.

"When did you guys get here?" asked Fighter.

"We went to see Sarda right after lunch," said White Mage.

"Yeah," said Black Belt, "We're pretty quick eaters!"

"You were always such goody two shoes," said Black Mage, "Fortunately for you, White Mage, I can change that…_if_ you know what I mean!"

"If you're implying any form of sexual intercourse between us, then forget it!" said White Mage.

"Damn!" cursed Black Mage, "I was so close!"

"Not really, you weren't," said Thief.

White Mage and Black Belt walked down the hall back to their class, conversing amongst themselves, as Fighter, Black Mage, Thief, and Red Mage stepped into Sarda's office. They approached his desk, which he was sitting behind. He had his hood over his face, as usual, except for his long, white moustache.

"So you heard my announcement," said Sarda.

"Yeah, it was over the intercom, KINDA hard to ignore!" said Black Mage.

"All sarcasm aside," continued Sarda, "The Principal and I have agreed that you four are meant to save the world."

"You mean…are we really…?" asked Red Mage.

"Yes," said Sarda, "You are the Light Warriors."

"YAY!" exclaimed Red Mage, "Finally, I'll be known for something! Why, with that title, we'll get everything! Power! Respect! Girls!"

"At least we _think_ you are," said Sarda.

"Huh?" asked Red Mage.

"Well, are we, or aren't we?" asked Thief.

"That's what we would like to determine," said Sarda, "We have arranged for you four to be tested!"

"How?" asked Red Mage.

"There are some trouble makers running amuck out somewhere in the world…somewhere far away…you will find them and teach them a lesson! Then we will know for sure if you are indeed the Light Warriors!" said Sarda.

"Somewhere out in the world?" asked Black Mage, "And how do you propose we get somewhere out there, wise guy?"

Sarda's beady yellow eyes shined through his hood, and he stuck his hands up. In the blink of an eye, the four companions were transported out of Sara's office and into a strange building. The halls were large and exquisite. The floor was made of red carpet, the chandeliers were of the highest quality, the walls were painted a fresh yellow, and all around, there was the smell of fruit. It was a most majestic place.

"It's official," said Black Mage, "Sarda's a jackass!"

"Agreed," said Thief and Red Mage.

"Where are we?" asked Fighter.

* * *

Sarda walked down the dark halls to approach The Principal, who as usual, was hiding in the shadows of his throne, unseen by anyone.

"Did you send them off?" asked The Principal.

"Yes," said Sarda, "Both teams have been sent there. Also, I have sent White Mage and Black Belt to monitor their actions, just in case for some reason, they need to intervene."

"Good, good," said The Principal, "Now it's simply a matter of who stands victorious…"

* * *

**To be continued...**


	3. 03: Don't You Just Hate Evil Twins?

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 3 is now up for your entertainment. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own 8 Bit Theater or Final Fantasy**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas.**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

* * *

The Light Warriors walked down the majestic halls of the mysterious building they were transported into until they reached a giant ballroom. The stairs to the bottom floor were marked with red carpet, and the ballroom floor was shiny and clean. There were beautiful plants and paintings all over.

"If this were my castle, there would me more evil things here," said Black Mage, "That's much more appealing!"

"Is there a mirror over there?" asked Red Mage.

"Why?" asked Black Mage.

"Because I can see ourselves from across here!" said Red Mage.

He was right. The colors were a little different, but four people were across them on the other balcony and looked exactly the same. One looked like Fighter, but with black hair and silver armor. Another looked like Black Mage, but black robes, black hat, and a transparent face. Another looked like Thief, but his hair was blonde, and his clothes were purple. The last one looked like Red Mage, but wore grey clothes and had black hair.

"What is this place?" asked Thief.

"Never mind where we are! Who are _they_!" said Black Mage.

"I bet we'll be best friends with those guys!" said Fighter.

Across the balcony, the four lookalikes were having a similar conversation.

"What do you think, Felipe?" asked the Black Mage lookalike. He was referring to the Red Mage lookalike.

"Hard to say, Toby," said Felipe, "They look like they're our fake doubles!"

The Fighter lookalike said, "I bet we'll be best friends with those guys!"

"Sure, sure, whatever you say, Matt," said Toby.

"As the leader of our valiant group," said the Thief lookalike, "I, your faithful Marcus, have decided we shall take out the replicas!"

"A wise decision as always, Marcus!" said Felipe.

"I'm in the mood for killing people violently, anyway," said Toby.

"I can already imagine the wonderful fun we'll have!" said Matt, oblivious as always to what was going on.

* * *

"How did we get here?" asked a panicking Black Belt.

"Honestly, Black Belt, please stop overreacting," said White Mage.

"But…we'll be late for our religion class!" said Black Belt.

"I told you before," said White Mage, "Sarda told our teachers we were _excused_ specifically so we can follow the Light Warriors into Sarda's private dimension and monitor their progress to see if they really are the Light Warriors!"

"And what if they're not?" asked Black Belt.

"Then we will have wasted valuable time on them and as hard as it may be to believe, Sarda was wrong about who they were," said White Mage.

"Speaking of whom," said Black Belt, "Isn't that them right there?"

Black Belt pointed out the stain glass window that was just to their left. They both looked out and could see the entire ballroom from above. They saw the Light Warriors and their lookalikes facing each other on opposite ends.

"Alright, let's take out the replicas!" cried Marcus.

"Us? _You're_ the replicas!" replied Thief.

"I can take care of this!" said Red Mage, "Fire!"

He pointed at Felipe and cast a Fire spell that went right towards him.

"Blizzard!" said Felipe.

Felipe pointed at Red Mage and shards of ice flew towards the fire, extinguishing it.

"Dammit!" said Red Mage, "He's too good at this!"

"Allow me," said Thief.

In a flash, Thief zoomed over to the other side of the room and back, leaving the replicas confused.

"Hey!" said Matt, "My swords are gone!"

"So is my dagger!" said Toby.

"Two can play at that game," said Marcus.

Like Thief, Marcus zoomed to the other side of the room and back, not only stealing back their items, but also Thief's clothes.

"I'm, uh, gonna…go back there and, uh…be right back…" said Thief, backing away behind the corridor.

"It's go time!" said Fighter.

Fighter and Matt leaped off the balconies and went past each other, their blades clashing. They landed on the bottom floor. Fighter swung his two swords at Matt, who deflected them with his own two swords. Matt used one sword to block both of Fighter's swords, and the other to run through Fighter's armor…or at least attempt to. The sword only made a dent in Fighter's armor.

"What? But how?" asked a confused Matt.

Fighter used both his swords to throw Matt back up to the balcony, face first on the ground and unconscious, using his devastating spin attack.

"I guess it's up to me, then," said Toby.

"Use a Hadoken on them!" said Marcus.

"Get rid of the replicas!" said Felipe.

"Us? Replicas?" asked Black Mage, "If anyone's the replicas, it's you guys!"

"Didn't someone already sat that?" asked Fighter.

"Silence!" said Felipe, "We were born for the sole purpose of becoming the Light Warriors and saving the world, so we won't let you frauds pass yourselves off as us!"

"It's charging up now!" said Toby.

"I guess I have no choice," said Black Mage, charging up one of his own.

"HA-DO-KEN!" they both cried.

The entire room went dark except for the two Hadoken attacks clashing with each other. Black Mage's was blue, while Toby's was red. Two big balls of energy were clashing with each other in the middle, taking turns moving to Black Mage's side and Toby's side. Both were getting tired of the intensity. So much time was spent with the countering, that it disappeared on its own, restoring the room to its natural light.

"Well that could have gone better," said Toby, "I guess we'll just have to…"

"HA-DO-KEN!" cried Black Mage.

The Hadoken Black Mage cast caused an explosion that sent the Light Warrior Replicas flying way towards the end of the castle.

"Black Mage" said Fighter, "I thought you could only do that once a day!"

"Not after I started 8 Bit Academy!" said Black Mage, "All the staff told me, 'Practice makes perfect', so they allowed me to 'practice' my Hadoken to try and 'perfect' it."

"That certainly is useful," said Red Mage.

"Then how come they told me to forget anything about Sword Chucks?" asked Fighter.

"Because it's a stupid idea," muttered Black Mage.

"Um, guys," said Thief, "Could you by any chance FIND MY CLOTHES?"

* * *

"I don't believe it!" said White Mage, "They did it!"

"So they ARE the Light Warriors!" said Black Belt.

"I suppose they are," said White Mage.

"Does that mean we can leave now?" asked Black Belt.

"Not until after the Light Warriors return safely back to the academy," said White Mage.

"Which is easy for them, right?" said Black Belt.

White Mage gave him a stern look that told him he was not thinking clearly.

"They have more to do before they can leave, don't they?" asked a disappointed Black Belt.

* * *

"Well," said Thief, "Now that I have my clothes back, we should leave this castle and head back to Sarda."

"Hold it, smart guy," said Black Mage, "That jackass Sarda teleported us here! How do you propose we get back?"

"Easy," said Thief, "There's a door to the outside here, so all we have to do is step outside, find out where we are, and head in the direction of the academy."

Thief opened the door, not realizing the disappointment he was in for. There were no trees or plants outside, nor water or sand or mountains, or even the slightest sign of life. It was pure whiteness. Nothing existed outside the castle.

"If I didn't know better," said Thief, "I'd say we're trapped in a private dimension created by Sarda…that jackass!"

* * *

**To be continued...**


	4. 04: A Puzzling Puzzle

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 4 of 8 Bit Academy is now up for your enjoyment, so please do :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas.**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

* * *

The Light Warriors remained silent, staring at the never-ending whiteness that surrounded the castle. They were inside a private dimension created by Sarda. They were all thinking the same thing…what a jackass.

"How does old man McJackass expect us to get out of here?" asked Black Mage.

"Red Mage," said Thief, "You're an expert in physics and all of that. Does that have anything to do with how we can escape?"

"Based on the data that I can collect," said Red Mage, "I'd say…no, we're pretty much screwed."

"Some help you turned out to be," said Black Mage sarcastically, "Now let's make it even more helpful! STAB TIME!"

"So how do we get out of here?" asked Thief.

"Ugh, do I have to do this every time?" came a booming voice from the other end of the hall.

The Light Warriors turned to see Sarda at the other end of the hall…or so they thought. They could see part of the painting through Sarda, so they assumed he was a ghost or duplicate of some sort.

"I won't be here to tell you what to do every time, you know," said Sarda.

"Sarda!" exclaimed Fighter, "You came to rescue us!"

"No, you idiot!" groaned Sarda, "I came here to help you figure out what to do! Now listen, in the ballroom of this castle, there are four different orbs moved around, and four open spaces in the fountain in the next room."

"So let me guess," said Thief, "We need to put the orbs in the right places and it will help us get out of here."

"Something like that," replied Sarda, "Except it won't be that easy."

"What does that mean?" asked Red Mage.

"Sorry, I can't explain anymore," said Sarda, who started to fade away, "Good luck!"

"Hold it, jackass!" cried Black Mage.

It was too late. Sarda disappeared before Black Mage could get more answers from him.

"We better be on our way then," said Red Mage.

The Light Warriors went back to the ballroom and sure enough, four orbs were in the center of the room.

"Those can't be…" gasped Red Mage.

"The Elemental Orbs?" wondered Thief.

"Those worthless things?" asked Black Mage.

"How could you say that, Black Mage?" asked Fighter, "With these, we'll be true Light Warriors!"

"Whoop-de-fuggin-doo," Black Mage said, mocking Fighter, "Let's just find that fountain and put these in the correct order…whatever it is."

The Light Warriors went down the elegant stairs and each grabbed an orb. Fighter grabbed the Orb of Wind. Thief grabbed the Orb of Earth. Black Mage grabbed the Orb of Fire, so that left Red Mage with the Orb of Water.

"That way!" exclaimed Thief, pointing to a small tunnel leading to another room.

The Light Warriors ran though the cold, dark, stone tunnel leading to the next room. It looked exactly like the ballroom they were just in, only it had the fountain in the center, and there were no staircases or balconies. The fountain wall was gold, and the pure, fresh water that emerged from the fountain went up about halfway through the room. Unlike most fountains, this one had a square wall. On each side of the wall was a small hole carved into it. This was where an Orb was to be placed. Unknown to them, White Mage and Black Belt were watching them through a stain-glass window atop the room.

"So which one goes where?" asked Red Mage.

"I know!" exclaimed Fighter, "We go by our line up! Meaning my Orb goes first, then Black Mage's, then Thief's…"

"Stupid!" roared Black Mage, smacking Fighter on the back of the head.

"That hurt," whined Fighter.

"We could do that," said Thief, "_or_ we could read what's written in the water."

"There's writing? Where?" asked Red Mage.

"Down at the bottom of the fountain," said Thief, "and if I'm not mistaken, it says, _Fire goes across from Water, Wind is never north_."

"That's it?" exclaimed Black Mage, "That's all the hints we get? How does Sarda expect us to solve this puzzle?"

"Well, there's a letter N carved into one of the walls here," said Red Mage, "So we know not to put the Orb of Wind there."

"But that doesn't even help!" moaned Black Mage.

"We still have the _Fire goes across from Water_ part," said Thief.

"But we don't even know where those go!" cried Black Mage.

"Just put your Orbs in already!" shouted Fighter.

The other three turned and saw that Fighter had placed the Orb of Wind on the east wall.

"Why did you…?" they all asked.

"I dunno," said Fighter, "I'm just putting it anywhere BUT the north wall.

"Well then," said Red Mage, "If Fire and Water are across from each other, then it must be North and South! Which means the Orb of Earth goes in the west wall!"

They each placed their Orbs in those spots, but nothing happened.

"Now what?" wondered Fighter, "Do we get showered in confetti?"

"I'll bet you put the Orb of Wind in the wrong place, moron," said Black Mage.

"Or we could try switching Fire and Water," said Thief.

Black Mage and Red Mage switched the positions of their Orbs, and waited patiently for a minute to see if there was a change. But alas, there was none.

"I told you wind was in the wrong place!" said Black Mage.

"No, that can't be right!" said Fighter.

"Yes it is!" said Thief, "It goes in the south wall!"

"What makes you so sure?" asked Fighter and Black Mage simultaneously.

"The riddle said the Orb of Wind is never in the north, but it never said anything about the south," said Thief, "and we know now it doesn't belong in the east wall. And just because Fire and Water are always across from each other, doesn't mean it has to be north and south!"

"Let's give that a shot!" said Red Mage.

They switched the Orb of Wind into the south wall, the Orb of Earth in the north wall, the Orb of Water in the west wall, and the Orb of Fire in the east wall. But still, nothing happened.

"Try switching up water and fire," said Thief.

Black Mage and Red Mage switched the positions of the Orb of Water and the Orb of Fire. At first, they didn't think it was working, until a bright light shined from under the fountain.

* * *

"They did it!" said Black Belt, "They solved the puzzle!"

"But don't you remember what Sarda said about the part _after_ the puzzle?" asked White Mage.

"What about it?" asked Black Belt.

"You don't pay attention a lot, do you, Black Belt?" asked White Mage.

"Usually not," admitted Black Belt.

* * *

"This better be our way out," said Black Mage, "No more surprises from that jackass!"

"As much as I agree with you, BM," said Thief, "That word is getting a little old."

"Well it's true!" replied Black Mage.

"Why is the gold shiny stuff going black?" asked Fighter.

He was right. The gold shine that came from the bottom of the fountain was turning into an ugly, dark form of gas. It covered the beautiful fountain and started to lift it up. From the darkness emerged an ugly monster. Its head was a giant, stone rock with glowing yellow eyes and a big mouth. The only other thin that this monster consisted of was two giant hands.

"Oh no! It's a…what _is _this thing?" asked Fighter.

"Let's just call it a…Stonehead!" said Red Mage.

"Sounds good to me," said Thief.

"Yeah, great to hear we're gonna die at the hands of a Stonehead," muttered Black Mage sarcastically.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**The first story arc is almost done :)**


	5. 05: Thief's Always There

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 5 of 8 Bit Academy is now up for your enjoyment, so please do :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas.**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

* * *

The Stonehead let out a terrifying roar, and his strong breath sent the Light Warriors flying into the wall. Fighter was the first to get back up on his feet.

"It's GO TIME!" exclaimed Fighter.

"STAB TIME!" cried Black Mage.

"FIRAGA!" cried Red Mage.

"Good luck with that, guys," said Thief, and with that, he ran off.

"Typical," muttered Black Mage, "Oh well, we can handle this ourselves."

Fighter used both of his blades to chop up one of the hands. Unfortunately, the hand put itself back together.

"Well, drat," moaned Fighter.

"FIRAGA! BLIZZAGA! THUNDAGA!"

No matter what spell Red Mage cast, it seemed to have no affect on the Stonehead. Black Mage had enough of stabbing the Stonehead in a feeble attempt to weaken it, and decided to do what he did best.

"HA-DO-KEN!" cried Black Mage.

Red Mage happened to be in the path of the Hadoken, and just barely dodged it before it hit the Stonehead. However, despite the damage it would have normally done, the Stonehead was unaffected.

"Are you trying to get me killed?" screamed Red Mage.

"Well, sorta, I mean, it's a bonus!" said Black Mage.

"Guys!" exclaimed Fighter, "I think it's getting its power from his eyes!"

It was true. The Stonehead's eyes were giving the Stonehead intense power. But it was also holding up a transparent force field around itself, which explained how most of their attacks had no affect on it.

"At least we know where we have to attack now," said Black Mage.

* * *

"Shouldn't we help them?" asked Black Belt.

"No, it's not our place to interfere," replied White Mage, "If they are the Light Warriors, they will find a way to defeat it."

"And what if they don't?" asked Black Belt.

"Then Sarda was wrong about them and they are not worth wasting time on," replied White Mage.

"They still look like they could use the help," said Black Belt.

"Hey," said White Mage, "Where's Thief?"

* * *

Black Mage and Fighter jumped onto opposite hands, and then jumped onto the head of the Stonehead. They made sure to keep their balance, and were stabbing the Stonehead's eyes. It weakened the force field, but did not completely bring it down.

"Red Mage!" shouted Fighter, "Cast a spell and see if it works!"

"THUNDAGA!" cried Red Mage.

Both of the Stonehead's hands were reduced to nothing more than little chunks of rock.

"Ha! Take that!" bragged Black Mage.

The victory didn't last long. Like before, the hands put themselves back together.

"Oh crap," said Black Mage, "The eyes aren't just protecting the Stonehead! It's also keeping it from dying!"

"So stabbing the eyes won't do anything?" asked Fighter.

"Nope," replied Black Mage, "We're screwed."

Something quick and fast went past the eyes of Fighter and Black Mage.

"Did you just see that?" asked Black Mage.

"See what?" asked Fighter.

"I'll take that as a no," replied Black Mage.

"Hey, where'd the eyes go?" asked Fighter.

"What the?"

Black Mage turned to see what Fighter was looking at. Sure enough, the red, magical eyes of the Stonehead were no longer there. It was just empty holes.

"That was easy."

Everyone looked down to the ground to see that it was Thief who had stolen the Stonehead's eyes.

"Thief! You came back!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"I never left," said Thief, "I was just waiting for an opportunity to find its weakness!"

"Now let's finish him!" cried Red Mage.

Fighter and Black Mage jumped off the Stonehead, just in time for Red Mage to send a shower of meteors raining down on the Stonehead. Without its eyes, the Stonehead could not heal itself, so now it was just a pile of little rocks.

"You did it! You did it!" cried Black Belt, "You beat the Stonehead!"

The Light Warriors turned around and saw that Black Belt and White Mage came out from hiding and approached them.

"You truly are the Light Warriors," said White Mage.

"How long were you two here?" asked Red Mage.

"Long enough to see what you were doing," replied White Mage.

At the fountain where the Elemental Orbs were placed, a new portal was opened, probably leading them out of Sarda's dimension.

"Finally!" cried Black Mage.

"Why are all the Orbs floating up like that?" asked Fighter.

The Elemental Orbs were flying out of their spots and were losing their shine. They were now dark, depressing colors, and suddenly disappeared.

"Oh no!" cried White Mage, "The Elemental Orbs! We have to tell Sarda immediately!"

The Light Warriors, plus White Mage and Black Belt, entered the portal back to 8 Bit Academy.

* * *

"What? The Elemental Orbs disappeared?" cried Sarda.

Immediately when the Light Warriors, plus White Mage and Black Belt, got back, they went to Sarda's office to tell him the news.

"Yes," said White Mage, "It's terrible!"

"Well, you certainly have your work cut out for you, then," said Sarda, "Without a doubt, you'll have to find all four of them and restore them to their full power! But not today, we'll give you a little time to rest up before beginning to search for them."

"Hold on!" cried Red Mage, "Don't we get something from all of this? We just passed your little test, so isn't there some EXP we should be getting?"

"Yes, fine, here you go," said Sarda.

It was never fully clear how one could literally get EXP. Sometimes it would appear as blue balls, or diamond shaped orbs. But regardless, Red Mage and the rest of the party earned some EXP for their success.

"Now go and rest up," said Sarda.

All six of them left Sarda's office in order to prepare for a new day. Sarda then entered the door to The Principal. Walking down the dark walkway, he approached The Principal.

"I assume you've heard the good and the bad news?" asked Sarda.

"Yes," said The Principal, "Losing the Elemental Orbs is quite catastrophic."

"What should we do?" asked Sarda.

"You know the answer better than I do, Sarda," said The Principal, "You have almost infinite power. Just use some of it to see where exactly the Elemental Orbs are located!"

"Very well then," said Sarda, "But should we really send the Light Warriors out so early?"

"Why wouldn't we?" asked The Principal.

"Well," said Sarda, "They've just started their lives as the Light Warriors, and chances are the Four Fiends already know what has happened to the Elemental Orbs!"

"We don't have much of a choice," said The Principal, "After this school week is over, we will send them out to find the Elemental Orbs."

* * *

**To be continued...**


	6. 06: High School Parties get WILD

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 6 of 8 Bit Academy is now up for your enjoyment, so please do :)**

**This chapter is also the start of the second story arc in 8 Bit Academy, and it starts with a high school party.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas.**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

* * *

**Day 38**

After school, the Light Warriors went over to the training arena to do some training with Cid. Every day that week after school, they would learn fighting skills from Cid, and occasionally, instead of Cid teaching fighting skills, Sarda himself would teach them some magic skills that they didn't already know. Normally, after this hard training, they would all go back to the dorms and rest up. But tonight was different. Tonight, there was going to be a party.

The Light Warriors could use one, too, because the next morning, they would set off on their quest for the Orb of Earth. The party was being hosted by Wakka, one of the few students that didn't live on campus. In fact, he lived right on the coast of Besaid Island, which wasn't very far from the academy. Rumor was he had a big house. Perfect for a party.

"We sure could use a party before our grand adventure!" exclaimed Fighter.

"As much as I hate to agree with Fighter," said Black Mage, "In this case, I have to!"

"Bring on the babes!" said Red Mage.

"Let's go!" exclaimed Thief.

* * *

Meanwhile, deep in the Giant's Forest, the Light Warrior Replicas were walking in their usual formation towards what was known as the Cave of No Return.

"Are you sure it's the right place?" asked Felipe.

"Of course I am!" exclaimed Matt, "The Orb of Fire has to be there!"

"When are any of you going to catch onto the fact that there _is_ no Cave of No Return?" asked Toby.

"You wish that were true," said Marcus.

"Nevertheless," proclaimed Felipe, "Even if our search for the Orb of Fire is in vain, we shall still gain valuable EXP from the Cave of No Return, for we are the true Light Warriors, and that is our way!"

"No…such thing…as…Cave…of No…Return!" roared Toby.

Toby's beady little eyes began firing up something powerful. He had just about enough of the others as he could take.

"Look! A sign!" cried Marcus.

In front of a cave entrance at the top of a rocky stairway was a sign that said "Entering Cave of No Return."

"I knew it!" exclaimed Matt, "I knew there was a Cave of No Return!"

Toby's eyes shot out fire beams and knocked rocks in front of the cave, blocking any entry into it.

"Not anymore, there isn't!" said Toby, "Isn't that a shame?"

"Oh well," said Felipe, "Let us move on!"

* * *

After crossing the bridge over the water, the Light Warriors made it to the front of Wakka's beautiful beachside house, and it was pretty clear that the party was getting started. Already, someone was throwing up in the bushes.

"That rascal Zell," joked Fighter, "I always told him too much alcohol and he'll throw up!"

"Luckily, we're not that stupid," said Thief.

"You'd like that to be true, wouldn't you?" said Black Mage.

"What does that mean?" asked Thief.

"Chances are one or more of us is going to do something that stupid and turn the party into a riot!" proclaimed Black Mage.

"I have to agree with him on that," said Red Mage.

"Care to make a wager on that?" asked Thief.

"On what?" asked Red Mage.

"If just one of us gets wasted and does something stupid in public, then you win," said Thief, "but if all four of us make it through the party without humiliating ourselves, then I win!"

"Deal!" said Red Mage.

"Oh my god, look at that!" exclaimed Fighter, "They're already playing spin the bottle! WHEEEE!"

Fighter ran right inside the house and joined the spin the bottle game, and immediately grabbed the first cup of beer he saw.

"After seeing that, I'm pretty confident that Red Mage will win," said Black Mage, "And I'm not even being sarcastic this time!"

The three of them went inside the house and saw people dancing to the loud music and having a good time. Over by one of the couches, Black Belt and White Mage were conversing with each other.

"White Mage?" wondered Red Mage, "I'm surprised to see you here! You don't seem like the party kind of person!"

"I'm not," said White Mage, "In fact, I'm disgusted by most of what I'm seeing! Even some of the most nice, reserved people I know are becoming wild animals!"

"So what brings you here, then?" asked Thief.

"Because at parties like these, there are more than enough people getting hurt," replied White Mage, "and my oaths will not allow me to ignore the pain they will suffer in due time! I want to be here for when that happens!"

"Me too!" exclaimed Black Mage, "Only we're looking at this different ways. You're going to be _eliminating_ people's pain, whereas I'll be _enjoying _it! Ha ha ha!"

_Must remember White Mage's oath_, White Mage thought, _Must not bring harm to others._

"Speaking of people's pain, isn't that Fighter throwing himself into the wall?" wondered Black Belt.

A few people were watching Fighter run straight into a wall, fall down, get right back up, and start again. They seemed to be amused by it. Fighter might have been drunk already. Either that or he's just being himself.

"Ha! Fighter's already humiliating himself!" cried Red Mage, "I win the bet!"

"Yeah, it seems that way," said Thief, "It's a shame we never agreed what we were betting _with_, so you get nothing!"

"Dammit!" cursed Red Mage.

"Oh look, it's Auron!" said Black Belt.

Every class had its ladies' man, or more than a few. If anyone in class was one of those, it was Auron. Rumor had it that Rinoa, Tifa, Selphie, Yuffie, and Rikku lost their virginity to him. There was also a rumor that before those five, someone else had a hold on Auron's heart, and took away his virginity. Of course, even though they were called rumors, it was more than obvious that it was all true.

"It's official," said Black Mage, "This party's gonna get _crazy_…I am _so_ glad we came!"

"Me too!" exclaimed Thief.

"That Auron needs to get his priorities set straight," remarked White Mage, "before he damns himself to eternal suffering!"

Auron sat in between Selphie and Rikku. Already, they both had their hands wrapped around his arms and their heads resting on his shoulders. Like Fighter, many people were already drunk.

"What the hell are we waiting for?" asked Black Mage, "Let's get wasted before we leave for our miserable quest tomorrow!"

"I second that!" said Thief.

"Hell yes!" exclaimed Red Mage.

They each went to get their own drinks, leaving White Mage and Black Belt to themselves.

"I worry about those four," said White Mage.

"Why?" asked Black Belt, "They're the Light Warriors!"

"Exactly!" replied White Mage, "They're taking the whole thing so lightly! They have no idea what kind of danger lies ahead of them or what their fates truly are! I can't stand that!"

A drunken Zell roamed by Black Belt and told him an interesting piece of news.

"There's gonna be a duel in 10 minutes!" he said, "I'm gonna go spread the word!"

As Zell walked around, drunk as hell, to spread the word, Black Belt remarked, "Well, looks like you showed up at the right time, White Mage!"

Over on the other side of the room, Selphie and Rikku were getting cozy with Auron…_real_ cozy. They were both licking his cheeks like dogs, when Tifa and Yuffie walked up.

"What the hell?" asked Tifa.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" snapped Selphie.

"What makes you two think you can have Auron all to yourselves?" asked Yuffie, "Some of us need our share, too!"

"Ladies, ladies," Auron said with a jolly laugh, "There's plenty of room on this couch for all of you!"

"Well what are _you_ girls gonna do about it?" snapped Rikku.

Though they were ready to fight each other, they all turned to see who it was that started laughing. They saw Black Mage, Thief, and Red Mage sitting on a couch nearby, with a glass of beer in their hands. Fighter was on the dance floor, and like everyone else on the floor, was drunk.

"Well what are _you_ waiting for?" asked Tifa.

"A cat fight!" replied Black Mage, "I've always wanted to see what happens when multiple girls fight over one guy!"

"And I need entertainment," said Thief, but then in whisper mode, he whispered, "Plus, you'll be too busy fighting each other to notice someone stealing something right out of your pockets."

"I could lend you girls some stat boosts if you'd like," said Red Mage, "It would make the fight more interesting!"

"Save this fight for later!" said a drunken Zell.

Zell had come by, hiccupping between a few words, his hand on Red Mage's shoulder to try and hold himself up.

"Cloud and Vincent [hic] are gonna have a duel! [Hic] See, they're both in [hic] Class 7C, and they [hic] both agree that there's only room for [hic] one emo kid in the class. So [hic] they're gonna duel, and [hic] whoever loses has to come to school after the weekend [hic] dressed in pink, pretty clothes [hic]. I'm gonna go spread the word!"

As Zell walked away, Auron remarked, "Those two are at it again?"

"I'm willing to put aside our fight for a while to see this," said Yuffie.

As the other girls agreed, Black Mage got up from his seat and said, "I need to see this!" Thief and Red Mage followed.

* * *

Deep in a castle located in the middle of a swamp on the other side of a vast mountain range, the Dark Warriors, which consisted of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire, were having a meeting in the castle's meeting room. It wasn't until a knock on the door was heard that they paused the meeting.

"Is…anyone gonna get that?" asked Garland.

"Why don't you, oh 'fearless leader'?" asked a sarcastic Drizz'l.

"Yar, we should be making the whiny little Goth lad answer it!" said Bikke.

"Fine, I'll get it," said Vilbert.

Vilbert walked down the hall, which was lit by candles, but not by much, and was made of stone…and also had gold tapestries hanging on the walls. Vilbert opened the large, double doors of the castle to see that his father, Lich, was the one knocking.

"You think you'll need _this_?"

Lich reached into his purple cloak and pulled out the Orb of Earth. Vilbert was more than glad to take it off his father's hands, and let him inside the castle. But Lich wasn't _that_ nice. He didn't say anything to Vilbert, but it would cost them to use the power of the Earth Orb.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	7. 07: Cloud and Vincent Fight

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 7 of 8 Bit Academy is now up for your enjoyment, so please do :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas.**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, but he hasn't gotten to telling the Light Warriors something important yet.**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, he too has not told the Light Warriors of something important.**

**Wakka- The host of the party and ends most sentences with "man" and "yah".**

* * *

Outside of Wakka's beach house on Besaid Island was a self-made arena in the sand. A big blue circle marked where the barriers were, so that nobody could interfere. The majority of the party guests were watching the upcoming fight. If they weren't, they were most likely throwing up in the bushes or one of the toilets.

Fighter and Zell, both drunk on their asses, were going to be the announcers for anything that happened during the fight. Black Mage, Thief, and Red Mage attempted to get front row seats. White Mage and Black Belt were close to the sidelines.

"Why are you so upset, White Mage?" asked Black Belt.

"Because of this barrier they put up," replied White Mage, "It limits my healing capabilities!"

Cloud and Vincent stepped into the arena, both of their weapons in hand. Cloud carried his massive sword, and Vincent had two handguns, fully loaded, with more ammo inside his cloak.

"Are you ready to taste defeat?" asked Vincent.

"No," replied Cloud, pointing his sword at Vincent, "but I do intend on knocking you down!"

"We'll see who will be knocking down whom," said Vincent, "Shall we begin?"

"Of course," said Cloud, "But I hope you're ready to dress in pink after the weekend."

"Begin!" declared Fighter and Zell simultaneously.

Vincent's bullets were deflected by Cloud's blade. After this repeated itself a few times, everyone thought the fight would pretty much continue this way and it would be a while before it came to an end.

Then Vincent loaded his guns with a new kind of bullet. When he fired, the bullets had a purple glow around them. Cloud swung his blade to deflect it, but even when the force of the blade threw the bullets into the air, they went flying towards Cloud again.

"They're locked onto me," said Cloud.

"What a _slick_ move!" exclaimed Zell, "Vincent has lock-on bullets coming after Cloud!"

"What will Cloud do?" questioned Fighter.

Cloud jumped in front of Fighter and waited for the lock-on bullets to come to him. Once they were close enough, Cloud rolled out of the way, and the bullets hit Fighter, which burnt him to a crisp.

"Well, darn it, that hurt," said Fighter.

"How does that happen?" cried Black Mage.

"Easy," replied Red Mage, "Vincent simply fires the bullets, and they calculate what speed to accelerate at and what angle to pursue the target from…"

"I meant how come Fighter never dies?" cried Black Mage.

"Oh," said Red Mage, "That's almost unexplainable."

"Let's see if I can try that again," said Vincent to himself. He went to grab more ammo but then said, "Hey, who took all my ammo?"

Thief chuckled to himself.

"I couldn't resist," he told Black Mage and Red Mage, "Those lock-on bullets will be worth hundreds!"

"How did you get past the barrier?" asked Black Mage.

"What barrier?" asked Thief, "Those are just blue lines, anybody could get in there."

Black Mage stuck his foot inside the arena, and sure enough, it stayed.

"That's pathetic," said Black Mage.

Vincent had to rely on bare handed combat against Cloud. He had gauntlets on his arms, so he defended himself from Cloud's sword slices that way.

"Wow! Vincent's wearing gauntlets!" announced Zell.

"How will Vincent pull through with nothing but his bare hands?" announced Fighter.

"It's quite simple, really," said Black Belt, as if Fighter could hear him, "With enough training and physically demanding exercises…"

"Black Belt, Fighter can't hear you," said White Mage.

"Well, I just thought somebody should know," said Black Belt.

"Now," said Red Mage, "If Vincent was wearing a Pantyhose of Protection, he would be almost invulnerable to anything Cloud tries on him."

"And what kind of guy would wear a Pantyhose of Protection in the first place?" asked Thief.

Red Mage whispered something to himself, which Thief could just slightly hear.

"What was that?" asked Thief, "I don't think I heard you."

"I said _I_ do," confessed Red Mage.

Even with the majority of the crowd cheering Cloud and Vincent on, plus Zell and Fighter announcing everything, there seemed to be an awkward silence everywhere, even though it was just between Thief and Red Mage.

"You worry me," said Thief.

Vincent finally landed some hits on Cloud. He rolled to the side and got behind Cloud, and then hit the back of both of Cloud's kneecaps with his pistol. It sent a crippling pain through Cloud's legs, causing him to fall down on his knees, being held up by his sword.

"I hope you're ready to wear pink in a few days," said Vincent, preparing for a final blow.

Cloud's legs were trembling, but he still fought to get back up on his feet, but to no avail. He had no healing potions on him, so he had one last move, and one last chance to win.

"That's _my_ line," said Cloud.

Cloud raised his sword up and threw it straight at Vincent. His intention was to run Vincent through the chest, and then he could heal himself up later. Instead, the handle of the blade hit Vincent in the head and knocked him down, making his vision blurry.

"And the victory goes to Cloud!" Zell cried.

"A tremendous victory!" exclaimed Fighter, "Now we're going to pass out. Goodnight!"

Zell and Fighter fell face first into the sand and were unconscious. Thief, Red Mage, and Black Mage just stared.

"He has officially made a fool of himself," said Thief.

"Just now?" wondered Black Mage, "He made a fool of himself when he was born!"

Thief and Red Mage then stared at Black Mage.

"That wasn't your best," said Red Mage.

"Well they can't all be classics," said Black Mage, "Let's see you come up with something better."

"Given enough time, I could," said Red Mage.

As everyone started heading back inside Wakka's house, White Mage was healing Cloud and Vincent from all their injuries.

"You seem a little agitated, White Mage," said Black Belt.

"Fighting is for when the strong defend the weak, or in the most critical moments," said White Mage, "I can't stand when people fight for superiority."

"Then clearly you haven't been in a group or clan before," said Vincent, now fully healed up.

"Not true," replied White Mage, "There is an official Holy Order for White Mages."

"I better see you in pink after this weekend, Vincent," said Cloud.

* * *

"Why do we have to be the ones who drag Zell and Fighter's drunken asses back inside?" asked Black Mage, carrying Zell on his back.

"Because if we don't, we'll never hear the end of it from White Mage," replied Thief, "Remember when she hit you with her giant hammer for leaving Fighter unconscious and bleeding in the middle of the road?"

"All too well," replied Black Mage, "And it would have gone just fine, too, if she hadn't shown up."

Once Zell and Fighter were put on a couple of nearby couches, the party resumed. Many people were on the dance floor, and there was a long line of grinding. Black Mage, Thief, and Red Mage were all wasted just like everybody else.

"You got shomethin' you wanna shay to everyone, Red Mage?" asked Thief.

"Yesh, I do!" replied Red Mage, standing up on top of the coffee table, "Hey everybody! Look at me! I'm wearing Pantyhoshe of Protection!"

Had the crowd not been wasted, they would have laughed or been shocked that Red Mage exposed himself wearing pantyhose. Instead, they just cheered him on, chanting, "Red Mage! Red Mage! Red Mage!"

Selphie, Rikku, Tifa, and Yuffie all ended up having an agreement with each other…they would rotate around Auron. Selphie would start my curling around Auron's legs, Rikku would kiss Auron's lips warmly, Tifa would massage Auron's back, and Yuffie would grind on him. They would rotate counterclockwise after a few minutes.

_This is gonna be a fun night_, thought Auron.

Much of this continued for the next hour. Wakka hit a switch, and the front door, as well as the front walls, opened up, exposing a dark blue sky reflecting on the ocean.

"Hey, Black Mage, what's happening, man?" said Wakka, patting him on the back, "How about you finish off the night with a Hadoken?"

"You got it, friend!" exclaimed Black Mage.

Everyone had all eyes on Black Mage as he warmed up. The room went dark, making it impossible to see anything but the bright blue light of the Hadoken, which was about to be fired.

"Ha-Do-Ken!" cried Black Mage.

It shot across the ocean and left a bright blue light exploding on the other side, and everyone at the party cheered. Only White Mage and Black Belt were sober enough to be able to make it home on their own. Everyone else passed out wherever they were at the moment.

* * *

Back with the Dark Warriors, Drizz'l was paying a visit to Vilbert's father, Lich, who was surrounding himself in the throne room by dark, red flames and chanting a devil's prayer.

"What seems to be the trouble, honored King of Hell?" asked Drizz'l.

"I have received word that those accursed Light Warriors have been chosen to save the world against Chaos and all evil," replied Lich, "I am summoning one of the most powerful beasts in all of Hell to rid us of them before they have a chance to get here."

"So we can just relax, then?" asked Drizz'l.

"Be on your guard to be sure," replied Lich, "But don't worry. We have the Earth Orb, and I have put my soul in it, making me invincible. Even if they somehow get past the beast and make their way here to get it, they won't even be able to even touch it without suffering the consequences!"

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	8. 08: Hangovers suck

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 8 of the 8 Bit Academy story is now up for your enjoyment, so please do :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- The host of the party and ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

* * *

**Day 39**

Black Mage opened his beady little eyes and felt a heavy foot on his face. He instantly knew who it was.

"Are you awake just yet?" asked Quistis Trepe.

She stepped off Black Mage, and then he sat up, holding his head. It was aching a bit, probably the hangover, and he was still at Wakka's house like everybody else. It was probably the hangover. Then, unexpectedly, someone else appeared next to Quistis.

"Morning, Black Mage!" exclaimed Fighter, "Some party last night, eh? How'd you sleep last night?"

"How do you _not_ have a hangover?" asked Black Mage, "You drank more than anyone here and you and Zell were the first ones to pass out!"

Zell's moaning could be heard from the next room.

"My head hurts," whined Zell.

"I can heal that up," said Quistis, "Just try to be a little smarter from now on."

"You haven't answered my question, Fighter," said Black Mage.

"What question?" asked Fighter.

"Never mind," said Black Mage, "I'm sure you'll just answer me with something stupid."

"To answer your question, Black Mage," said Quistis, "I gave Fighter and a few others some Panacea."

"What's that again?" asked Fighter.

"It cures you of negative effects," replied Black Mage, "So hit me up with some of that Panacea."

Before Quistis could respond, Wakka came up and put his arm around Quistis and Fighter.

"Hey, what's happening?" asked Wakka, "Fighter, I had a great time with you last night. Ms. Trepe, I'll have that homework in by the end of the weekend, yah?"

"Don't worry about the homework yet," said Quistis, "Since you volunteered to help us accompany the Light Warriors, I'll give you and anyone else coming a few extra days to turn it in."

"Accompany us?" asked Black Mage, "You're going with us to retrieve the Earth Orb?"

"Well, that's _your_ job," replied Quistis, "But since you're new to the Light Warrior job, we'll guide you as far as we can before you retrieve the Orbs on your own."

"Mind if I ask who _else_ is 'accompanying' us?" asked Black Mage.

"Hmm, let's see," said Quistis, "That would be me, Wakka, Zell, and Auron…where is he anyway?"

"Over there, with the girls," said Fighter, pointing to one of the couches.

Everyone else was passed out on the floor, on the couches…or in Cloud's case, on the dining room table. Auron was on the couch, with Selphie, Tifa, Yuffie, and Rikku sleeping soundly on top of him.

"Somebody wake him up, along with Thief and Red Mage," said Quistis.

"I'll do it!" exclaimed Fighter.

Fighter ran up to jump on Auron, but instead, jumped on Yuffie's back.

"Ow…that hurt," moaned Yuffie, who was waking up.

"Sorry, but I've got to wake up Auron so we can embark on our quest," said Fighter.

"I'll get you for that," said Yuffie, "but not now. I'll wake him up."

"No need," said Fighter, "I can do it."

Fighter jumped in the air and landed on Auron's face.

"Ow!" cried Auron, "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Sorry, Auron, but we've got to leave for our quest," said Fighter.

"Fine," groaned Auron, "but can I do something about my hangover first?"

"Yeah, my head hurts," moaned Yuffie.

"Auron, I've got some Panaceas for you here, it should help," said Quistis.

"Sounds great," responded Auron.

Thief and Red Mage woke up on their own, and like Auron and Zell, were given some Panaceas from Quistis, curing them of hangovers.

"I have the strangest feeling I've done something last night that I'm going to regret," said Red Mage.

"Don't worry about it," remarked Thief, "We were all drinking and don't remember much of last night. I'm sure whatever it was, no one will remember it."

"You can sleep a little longer, Yuffie," said Wakka, "You don't have to go anywhere, yah?"

"Sounds…great…" moaned Yuffie, falling back to a deep sleep.

"Well then," said Quistis, "Shall we get going?"

"Not so fast," snapped Black Mage, "You haven't given me a Panacea yet."

* * *

Going through the Giants' Forest, the Light Warriors and company had started their quest for the Earth Orb and were on their way to the mountains. An agonizing cry was heard most of the time.

"Why am I the only one who still has a hangover?" whined Black Mage, "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

"You set half of my classroom on fire with one of your spells," said Quistis, "Think of this as payback."

Suddenly, almost as if out of nowhere, two wolves appeared before the crew, and growled at them, showing off their sharp teeth and claws.

"Woohoo! Random Encounter!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Quest EXP, here I come!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"I am _so_ not in the mood for this," moaned Black Mage.

* * *

Sarda was meeting with The Principal in his dark office once again. He had seen the location of the Fire Orb and the Earth Orb, and was still searching for the Water Orb and the Air Orb. The Fire Orb was deep underground near a volcano. The Earth Orb's location was already known, but only Sarda sensed the danger it possessed.

"I do believe we have a problem," said Sarda.

"And what would that problem be?" asked The Principal.

"Lich, the dreaded King of Hell, has placed his soul inside the Earth Orb," said Sarda, "If the Light Warriors lay their hands on it before Lich's soul is removed, it will surely give them a most painful and sorrowful experience."

"Can't you do something about it, then?" asked The Principal.

"Well yes, but that would be meddling with destiny," replied Sarda.

"Good point," said The Principal.

_Of course, I'm always meddling with destiny, but no need for him to know that_, thought Sarda.

"Another thing," said Sarda, "When you asked me to test the Light Warriors again in some way, I found a way."

"How?" asked The Principal.

"You know how I created replicas of the Light Warriors?" asked Sarda.

"Yes," replied The Principal.

"Well, I have created replicas for White Mage and Black Belt!" exclaimed Sarda, revealing a mage with purple robes and white hair, and a monk with brown clothes and black hair, "These two are called Rebecca and Jared, and they are deliberately made to misguide the Light Warriors."

"And what if the real White Mage and Black Belt run into the Light Warriors and see replicas of themselves?" asked The Principal.

"Not to worry," replied Sarda, "I sent White Mage and Black Belt far away from where the Light Warriors are headed…I sent them to Elfland, to be precise."

* * *

Meanwhile, towards the Snowy Mountain Range…

"Black Belt, how did you get us lost again?" asked White Mage, "We're supposed to be in Elfland!"

"Never fear, White Mage, we're just…taking a shortcut," said Black Belt.

"We should have been there an hour ago! It's not that far from the academy!" shouted White Mage.

* * *

"But even if they do run into the Light Warriors, the moment the replicas see them, they shall instantly freeze time and send White Mage and Black to another dimension," said Sarda.

"And you're sure they can do it?" asked The Principal.

"Never been more certain in all my life," replied Sarda, "And I have lived quite a long time."

"One more thing before you go, Sarda," said The Principal, "One of our two annual meetings with other members of the Council will be held tomorrow. I want you there by my side, along with a few of my other employees."

"It will be done," said Sarda.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	9. 09: Random Encounter and a Hangover

**Enjoy Chapter 9 :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

**Rinoa- A scout for Quistis**

* * *

On one of the cliffs in the Snowy Mountain Range, Rinoa was looking through a pair of binoculars at the lair of the Dark Warriors. She had a white winter coat on in order to blend in with the snow, and kept her hood on to hide her black hair (and to keep her ears warm). She saw Lich looking out the window around the area. She could see Lich. He couldn't see Rinoa, but he felt her presence, and went to have a look.

"This isn't good," said Rinoa, "I have to warn the others!"

Lich turned his head towards the left of the mountains. He had heard a faint voice, which belonged to Rinoa, but because of her clever camouflage, Lich didn't see her running to the other side of the mountain to head back down.

* * *

"This is probably the worst time to have a random encounter," groaned Black Mage.

"What are you talking about?" asked Red Mage, "It's the _perfect_ time! It's right at the beginning of a new quest, a great way to kick it off!"

"Woohoo! Its ass-kickin' time!" exclaimed Zell.

"Well maybe it's good timing for those of you who don't have a FUGGIN' HANGOVER!" shouted Black Mage.

"Maybe if you didn't cause so much violent mischief in class, then you wouldn't have a hangover, because I would have given you a Panacea," said Quistis.

"But it felt so great at the time," said Black Mage.

"Alright everybody, time to plan our attack," said Red Mage.

After shouting "CHARGE!" Zell and Fighter attacked the wolves standing in their way.

"That wasn't part of the plan, guys," said Red Mage.

"We don't have time to plan," said Auron, swinging at the wolves in an attempt to run it through them, "We gotta get this thing done fast!"

"Why, so you could sleep with more of our classmates?" asked Black Mage, "Just having good looks alone ain't gonna make you a Prince Charming, you could really lose the tremendous ego you have."

"Look who's talking," said Thief in whisper mode.

"You just did it again!" cried Black Mage, "The thing where you whisper something and think we can't hear it!"

"Is that so, Black Mage?" asked Thief.

"Regardless, my girls are waiting for me, and I must help you finish this quest so I can return home to them," said Auron.

"Well, through some legal action that benefits me and only me, they'll soon be _my_ girls," said Thief, again in whisper mode.

"Will you all just focus on the battle?" asked Quistis.

"I dunno, Quistis," said Wakka, "Zell and Fighter seem like they're doing fine on their own, yah?"

"Sure," said Red Mage, "If you call bleeding profusely and pinned down on the ground 'fine', then sure, they're fine!"

"I've got this!" exclaimed Wakka.

Two of the wolves were on top of Zell and Fighter. They were about to dig their sharp, bloody teeth into Zell and Fighter, when Wakka threw his ball into one of their heads, which then bounced into the other wolf's head, and flew in the air. Wakka ran up a tree and kicked the ball down on one of the wolves, digging it into the ground. Wakka slammed his knees into the other wolf, and the two were defeated. Unfortunately, two more were still left, the ones that had been hiding behind the bushes.

"Here, take this," said Quistis.

She threw Zell and Fighter a Potion for each of them, which they used to heal themselves.

"That feels great!" exclaimed Zell.

"I feel much better now!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Sure, you can say that, because you don't have a fuggin' hangover and aren't refused a Panacea," complained Black Mage.

"Stop complaining," said Quistis, "And pay attention to what's going on. The battle isn't over yet!"

The two wolves lunged at Wakka, who back flipped and got away from their sharp teeth. Thief hid in one of the tree branches. Auron swung his blade directly through one wolf, and Red Mage cast Thundaga on the other. The two wolves faded away, leaving behind familiar little shiny balls.

"Alright! EXP!" exclaimed Red Mage, "And a Panacea as a bonus item? Sweet!"

"GIVE IT TO ME!" shouted Black Mage.

He slid past Red Mage and snagged the Panacea, and immediately used it on himself, removing his hangover.

"How do you like _that_, Quistis?" mocked Black Mage, "I didn't need one of _your_ stupid Panaceas to get rid of my hangover!"

"I will find a way to torture you more," said Quistis.

"Who would have thought Quistis Trepe could be so sadistic towards Black Mage?" asked Red Mage.

"It's _because_ he's Black Mage," replied Auron.

"Oh, yeah," said Red Mage.

Thief came out from hiding and immediately started collecting the gold left behind from the battle.

"The gold is for the whole party, Thief," said Quistis.

"Not according to the contract," said Thief, pulling it out for a reference, "It specifically states that not only do I get first dibs on the items and money we collect, but I also decide who gets what."

"And who, may I ask, would listen to the contract?" asked Quistis.

"These guys," replied Thief.

"Don't go against the contract, Quistis," warned Fighter, "He could do some other legal mumbo jumbo to make you lose your job!"

"I'm actually with Quistis on this one," said Black Mage, "Just because Fighter was too stupid to read the contract before signing it doesn't mean we have to listen to it."

"When the hell did this happen?" asked Quistis.

"Just yesterday before school ended," replied Fighter.

* * *

_Thief called Fighter to meet him behind the school during last period. They met behind the gym._

"_You wanted to see me, Thief?" asked Fighter._

"_That is correct, Fighter," replied Thief, "I feel we, as the Light Warriors, need some kind of system to keep ourselves in 'order'. Therefore, I need you to sign this contract, stating that you agree to agree to all principles listed in this contract (which will be written much later), and that I will be named the fearless and flawless leader of the Light Warriors."_

"_Depends," said Fighter, "Can I decide what swords we want to collect? Because some of them are super awesome, but others are just not right."_

"_Uh, sure, just sign it," said Thief._

"_Okee-dokee," said Fighter, "Signing it now."_

"_And by signing this," said Thief, "You are also signing for Red Mage and Black Mage."_

"_That's so nice of me, saving them some time," said Fighter innocently._

* * *

"I swear I'll Hadoken you to the other side of the world one of these days for that one!" exclaimed Black Mage.

"If you really want to kill him, why not just do it now, or have already done it earlier?" asked Auron.

"I'm keeping him alive as a food source, just in case we run out of supplies on our quest," replied Black Mage.

"That's so thoughtful of Black Mage, making sure we have a backup plan," said Fighter.

"Seriously, what goes on in that guy's head?" asked Auron.

"I don't know, nor do I want to know," replied Black Mage.

"Quistis!" came a cry from afar.

The Light Warriors and co. took a look backwards to see who was shouting. It seemed to be a girl with long, brown hair, reminding Black Mage of chocolate kisses…when he poisoned them and gave them to Fighter, who seemed to be immune to poison. She was also wearing a black, sleeveless shirt that basically stated 'I'm not a sissy girl; I could kick your asses'. She was also wearing a red miniskirt that, had it not been for the tough-looking shirt, would spell out 'slut'.

"Rinoa!" exclaimed Quistis.

"Wait a minute, Rinoa from our class?" asked Thief.

"Hi there, baby!" said Auron, turning on his charm, "I missed you last night!"

"I couldn't go last night," said Rinoa, "I was out scouting for Quistis."

"Speaking of which," said Quistis, "What did you find out?"

"Some bad things," replied Rinoa, "The Dark Warriors are the ones guarding the Earth Orb…"

"Those bastards!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Can I finish?" asked Rinoa, "I wasn't done, and that's not the worst."

"What could possibly _be_ worse?" asked Zell, "The Dark Warriors are freakin' tough."

"Well, first, they've got vicious demons surrounding the fortress they're using," said Rinoa.

"How is that possible?" asked Black Mage, "They might be evil, like myself, but I know for a fact that none of them can summon demons to their aid!"

"Because _they_ didn't," said Rinoa, "Which brings me to the second part of the bad news…the Lich King is helping them."

Everyone gasped at the same time. The Lich King was the leader of the Four Fiends, and probably the most evil. As far as strength goes, he seconds only to Muffin, the Fiend of Air, but mostly because Muffin is a dragon. If the Lich King was giving power to the Dark Warriors, than this quest would me much harder than they all thought. Everyone soon began to dread embarking on this quest.

Everyone, that is, except for Black Mage. His mind flashed back to one of his most notable encounters with the Lich King…

* * *

_Black Mage awoke surrounded by fire, suffering, and painful screams after being in total darkness for what seemed to be ages. He could instantly tell where he was. His mind began plotting ways to use this to his advantage, just as a giant demon, which happened to be the head demon, approached him._

_Excluding bloody details, Black Mage made short work of the head demon, and instantly began on his bloody rampage on getting towards the title he suddenly wanted more than anything…_

_The King of Hell. _

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	10. 10: Who will be the King of Hell?

**Sorry this took a while to update. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

**Rinoa- A scout for Quistis**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**Lich - The King of Hell and Vilbert's father, he has power over life and death.**

* * *

_All the demons cracked their vicious whips. The poor souls who were unfortunate enough to have been sent to Hell were moaning and crying, remorseful of their sins, but unable to do anything about it. Fire was burning everywhere, and some of the most dreadful things that could possibly be imagined crept out of the large cracks in the ground. There was no water in Hell; it was pure pain and suffering. The head demon had his work cut out for him, but since he was a bit of a sadist, he enjoyed his job._

_But now the head demon lost his spine, thanks to Black Mage. He watched as Black Mage walked off with his spine._

"_So long, sucker," cried Black Mage, "I'm gonna love your job!"_

_Once Black Mage got past the Gates of Hell, he looked around him. The misery of all lost souls was in the air. An entire realm of pure evil, and now it was about to be under Black Mage's control. No sooner did he take another step when he was greeted by a group of demon officers. _

"_Hold it right there, newcomer," one of them said, "What are you doing outside the line?"_

"_Outside the line?" asked Black Mage, "Buddy, by the time I'm through with you and your little friends, I'm gonna be in charge of that line." _

"_I'd like to see you try," the demon replied._

"_As you wish," responded Black Mage, blasting them all away with a cleverly aimed Hadoken. _

"_What can I say?" asked Black Mage, "They asked for it."_

_He proceeded towards the slave lines. Both the slaves and the slave drivers stared at him as he approached them. This time, Black Mage didn't even wait for anyone to speak a word. He simply ripped out one of their spines, and watched as the slaves ran away in fear and the slave drivers charged towards him, only to lose their own spines. _

"_Where do you slaves think you're going?" asked Black Mage._

_He snapped his fingers and a pile of giant boulders came crashing down in front of the slaves, blocking a potential escape route. Black Mage rushed down and, through violent means, ripped out each and every one of their spines._

_A few hours later, there was no one left but Black Mage with their spines in their bodies. No one was able to do anything about it. Black Mage crossed the stone walkway across the lava pool in the very center of Hell. He took a spot on his rightful seat, and looked across the entire realm. He was now the King of Hell, and he had the entire legion of devils under his command. It was all his now. _

_A few hours later, Lich King descended into Hell as well. He saw what damage Black Mage had caused, but despite that, he still did not see Black Mage as a major threat. He gathered all the demons he could find around him and was given their spines._

"_I just happen to be a master bone craftsman," said Lich._

_He immediately got to work restoring all of their broken spines to the way they were. It took hours to take broken spines and put them back together, plus giving the right spines to the right servants of the damned were a real pain, but it eventually got finished. _

"_Servants of the damned," cried out Lich, "You no longer need to serve the weak and pitiful Black Mage! All you must do is follow me into battle against him, and make me the King of Hell, and you will be restored in your former glory!"_

_The demons cheered loudly, accepting Lich as their new leader. Lich pointed towards the Throne of Hell, which Black Mage sat upon, and the demons charged towards it. Lich floated up in midair to watch the scene, surrounding himself with transparent red smoke. _

"_What's with the riot?" wondered Black Mage._

_He saw an angry swarm of demons charging towards him, and then saw the Lich King through a thick cloud of red smoke. He knew now that they were trying to overthrow him. Lich was trickier than Black Mage had thought. _

"_Take THIS!" shouted Black Mage._

_At the time, Black Mage could only use one Hadoken per day (this was before the days of the Academy), and he had already used it earlier. But since he was the King of Hell, he had much more power than he did before. All he did was lift his hand and the ground lit aflame. Some demons were burning, others were unaffected. Black Mage then slammed his hand down on the ground. From his fingers, cracks formed in the ground, splitting open and sending demons falling down._

_The demons were easy to take care of, even though there was still an army of them. It was when Lich King came face to face with Black Mage that things got tricky._

"_How can they be moving if I removed their spines?" asked Black Mage in surprise._

"_Easy," replied Lich, "I'm a master bone craftsman, and I know how to do these things. Your time as the King of Hell is up!"_

"_Big talk, __bonehead__," said Black Mage, "That's what's called a zing, by the way."_

"_Big talk, you say? We'll see about that!"_

_Black Mage was thrown off his feet by Lich's surprise attack. Lich had put his hand through a cloud of mist and it came out from behind Black Mage in this throne. The hand grabbed Black Mage and threw him forward. Once Black Mage got back on his feet, he raised both his hands, which sent an upward shower of boulders everywhere. Unfortunately, Lich was easily able to dodge all of these._

"_Die, damn you!" cried Black Mage._

"_I'm undead, you idiot!" shouted Lich._

"_So am I, but I'm the freaking King of Hell, so there!" said Black Mage._

"_Not if you're back in your human vessel, you can't," said Lich._

"_What does that…AAAHHH!" cried Black Mage._

_Lich began to choke Black Mage. His grip on Black Mage was too powerful. Lich began to float up out of the depths of Hell and back up to the surface where Black Mage's dead body was still in a dark cave with skulls and bones. It smelled bad, too._

"_That was a pretty dick move, by the way, ambushing me when I'm alone," said Black Mage._

"_I'll remember that," said Lich._

_Lich threw Black Mage back into his body. Black Mage was once again human. His days as the King of Hell were over. Lich took his place as the King of Hell._

* * *

"So basically, long story short," explained Black Mage, "Lich pulled a dick move on me, and now I want revenge."

"So you _want_ to confront death itself," said Thief, "I wonder if that should be called bravery or stupidity."

"Don't do it, Black Mage!" exclaimed Fighter, "He'll kill you again!"

"Not this time, he won't," said Black Mage, "I've gotten a lot more powerful since our last encounter, so I don't think he'll be a problem for me this time."

"I dunno about that, Black Mage," said Quistis, "You may be more powerful, but Lich has power over life and death, and is the King of Hell!"

"So was I at one point," said Black Mage, "But he ain't gonna be King much longer!"

"He's not so right in the head, is he?" asked Auron.

"He's absolutely nuts," replied Red Mage.

"That explains so much of what he says and does," observed Zell.

"Well, if he and the Dark Warriors have the Earth Orb, then we have no choice but to head in their direction," proclaimed Thief, "Onward!"

The others followed behind Thief, with Quistis and Rinoa in the back.

"What makes him the leader?" asked Rinoa.

"A sad story of a bunch of idiots who listen to writing on paper," replied Quistis.

_Perhaps I should work a little more on my sword chucks idea_, thought Fighter.

* * *

"Seriously, what is Garland doing?" asked Drizz'l.

"He said he was preparing a 'warm welcome' for the Light Warriors," replied Vilbert.

"Garland saying 'warm welcome' can only mean one thing," said Drizz'l.

Drizz'l and Vilbert walked down the hallway and made a left into the strangely beautiful kitchen. The floors were shiny clean, mainly because it was made of tile, unlike everything else, which was made of stone. Garland was wearing a pink apron and held a plate in his hands.

"He's making cookies for the Light Warriors, just as I thought," said Drizz'l, stating the obvious.

"Well of course!" said Garland, "It would be rude not to feed them! I just hope they like vanilla cookies, because we ran out of chocolate chips."

"We ran out of chocolate chips because you used them for the _last_ batch of cookies you made," said Drizz'l.

"Though they were quite tasty," added Vilbert.

"Regardless, giving cookies to the enemy will give them a bad impression," said Drizz'l.

"How?" asked Garland, "I thought serving cookies would give them a great impression!"

"You and I have different interpretations of 'impressions', Garland," said Drizz'l.

Out of nowhere, Lich appeared in between Garland and Drizz'l, and raised his right hand to command their attention.

"Will you stop this foolish bickering?" asked Lich, "The Light Warriors are on their way as we speak, and you're wasting time over…cookies?"

"Vanilla flavor," said Garland, "Secret family recipe."

Lich took one and chewed on the cookie with his rotten boney teeth.

"This…is…delicious!" he exclaimed, "It takes just like the impure souls of the worst sinners mixed with the blood of all the whores who…"

"That doesn't sound anything like how it tastes," said a confused Garland, "I make my cookies with love…and eggs, and sugar, and of course, vanilla."

Bikke came running into the kitchen, panting and out of breath.

"Bad news, ye landlubbers!" he shouted, "Those pesky Light Warriors be on their way!"

"Excellent," hissed Lich with an evil grin, "Now we'll show them what we've got!"

* * *

**To be continued...**


	11. 11: Tumbling Mountain

**Hey everyone, it's me, The Goon. Enjoy Chapter 11 :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

**Rinoa- A scout for Quistis**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**Lich - The King of Hell and Vilbert's father, he has power over life and death.**

* * *

The climb up the mountain was long and rough. Many of the rocks were unstable, and somehow, they usually landed on either Zell or Black Mage. Sometimes they landed on Fighter, but he never seemed to die or get injured from it.

"I still don't understand how Fighter never dies," muttered Black Mage.

"How much longer until we're there, baby?" asked Auron.

"Not much farther, but don't call me baby," replied Rinoa.

_Sounds like someone isn't falling for Auron's "bad boy charm",_ thought Thief, _Claiming rights to his girls will soon be a cinch._

"Is everyone prepared?" asked Quistis, "Because this won't be an easy battle."

"That's what you think," said Black Mage.

"Come again?" asked Quistis.

"We've had a few encounters at school with the Dark Warriors, and they've never been much of a threat," said Black Mage, "Especially Garland, and he's supposed to be their leader!"

"That would be a valid point were it not for the fact that Lich is also with them," said Quistis.

"He just got lucky last time," retorted Black Mage, "And I'm more powerful now!"

"Just hope that Lich doesn't have any stat bonuses, since it's pretty clear that you don't," said Red Mage.

"Okay, seriously, how long are you gonna be obsessed with those 'reality' handbooks of yours?" asked Black Mage.

Red Mage would have answered with a witty retort had it not been for the fact that the mountain had now started collapsing. If they didn't escape fast, they would all be buried under the crumbling mountain.

"Run!" cried Fighter.

"Take cover!" cried Quistis.

"Take cover? Are you mad? We'll get crushed if we don't leave!" shouted Thief.

"Then what do you suggest, smart guy?" asked Rinoa.

"Simple," said Thief, calming down a little, "All of you give me what little money you have left in your pockets so I can at least die in peace."

"Bite me," said Auron, "I have no money on me."

_Well that certainly isn't true, or you wouldn't have so many women_, whispered Thief to himself.

"What was that?" asked Auron.

"What was what?" asked Zell and Fighter simultaneously.

As the mountain continued to crumble around them, the piece of land they were all standing on split off the mountain and started sliding down. It wouldn't be long before it hit the ground.

"Rinoa," said Red Mage, "I believe you should have been referring to me when you said 'smart guy'".

"And why is that?" asked Rinoa.

"Because I'm the one with a foolproof plan!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"Don't let him fool you," whispered Black Mage to Rinoa, "His 'foolproof plans' are always stupid."

"Black Mage!" commanded Red Mage, "Once we have fallen at a considerable distance, Hadoken the falling rocks and whatever is left of the mountain into oblivion!"

"On second thought, Red Mage has some pretty good ideas sometimes," admitted Black Mage.

"Yet another brilliant plan by our team strategist, Red Mage!" exclaimed Thief.

"Good thinking, yah!" said Wakka.

While the chunk of land kept falling, Black Mage charged up a new Hadoken. He desperately wanted to destroy everyone else with it, but then he couldn't use them as living meat shields when he confronted Lich. He also contemplated just smiting them and die knowing that they were all dead, but then he couldn't confront Lich at all. Regrettably, he had to help them.

"Uh, how much longer do we wait?" asked Zell.

"Just a bit…further down," said Red Mage.

"Well then hurry!" cried Rinoa.

Black Mage eagerly awaited shooting another Hadoken, listening, for the first time, to Red Mage's plan.

"NOW!" cried Red Mage.

"My pleasure," said Black Mage.

He released the energy swelling up in his hands, which created the big blue beam of destructive energy known as the Hadoken. As predicted, the mountain and its falling rocks were blown back by the explosion. Some were scattered around the Dark Warrior Fortress. Others crashed into the other mountains surrounding it. One of the biggest ones shot right through a tower in the fortress, sending it tumbling to the ground.

* * *

"What be that ruckus?" barked Bikke.

"Something sent that tower tumbling down!" exclaimed Garland.

"Oh, strong and fortified tower," said Vilbert, "Your destruction will not be in vain! Your soul will be received into open arms…"

"Son," said Lich, "Do us a favor, and save us the Gothic poetry."

"Fine, be that way," Vilbert moped.

"Seriously, though, we can't just let them get away with this," said Drizz'l.

"And we won't, Drizz'l," said Garland in his bad guy voice, "We won't."

* * *

The Light Warriors, plus their Earth Orb Recovery Team, stood in awe at the damage and destruction Black Mage had caused. They also were in awe of Red Mage's plan.

"Excellent job, you guys," said Quistis, "I think you're starting to get the hang of this whole Light Warrior job."

"Now we can stop the bad guys!" exclaimed Fighter.

They suddenly heard rustling in the trees.

"Not another random encounter!" moaned Black Mage.

Everyone was getting on their guard. They had no idea what would be in store for them. They were expecting a pack of wolves or a weird kind of monster, but instead, Black Belt and White Mage came out.

"I told you we were lost!" exclaimed White Mage, "This is _not_ Elfland!"

"I-I could have sworn it was this way," stuttered Black Belt.

"Well, at least we're with the Light Warriors," said White Mage, noticing them with the Earth Orb Recovery Team, "We can aid them on our quest before looking for Elfland again…what happened to that mountain?"

"BM gave it a good old Hadoken and sent it crumbling!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Prior to that, the mountain was falling on us and we would have been crushed to death," said Red Mage.

"In other words, our actions were totally justifiable," said Thief.

"No matter how destructive (or fun) they may be," added Black Mage.

"Well, it's good to have someone who can heal anyone here without the use of items," said Quistis, "The more help we get, the better!"

"Hey, guys," said Wakka, who was standing on top of the pile of mountain remains, "You might wanna look at this, yah!"

Everyone ran up to where Wakka was and he pointed out towards the field. There was another group of warriors heading towards the Dark Warriors Fortress. One had black hair and silver armor. The second had a black hat and robe, and his face was transparent. The third had blonde hair and sparkly, purple clothes. The last one had grey clothes and black hair, with his mouth covered.

"The Light Warrior Replicas!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Whoa!" gasped Zell, "There's a Warrior group out there that's just like you guys?"

"Yeah, they're great people!" replied Fighter.

"Last time we saw them, they tried to kill us for our titles," said Black Mage, "great people they ain't."

"If my understanding of this is correct, they're probably trying to get the Elemental Orbs before we do, so that they'll be considered the true Light Warriors," said Thief.

"Those bastards," muttered Red Mage.

"They really should know better than that," said White Mage.

"They should, pretty lady," said Auron, attempting to put his arm around White Mage.

Black Mage would have furiously attacked Auron for trying to hit on White Mage, but Black Belt beat him to it. He zoomed in on Auron's face with a fierce kick, slamming Auron into the wall of the other mountain.

"No one disrespects White Mage!" shouted Black Belt.

"Thank you for that, Black Belt," said White Mage, "And _you_!" She slammed her hammer down on Auron's head, knocking his shades off. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Wow, I can't believe I'm not the one she's hitting for trying to get with her," said Black Mage.

"Damn," groaned Auron, "That usually works on all the girls."

"Can we please focus?" asked Quistis, "The object of our mission is to go in there and retrieve the Earth Orb, so let's do that!"

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	12. 12: Honored Guests

**Hey everyone, it's me, The Goon. Enjoy Chapter 12 after that long wait :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

**Rinoa- A scout for Quistis**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**Lich - The King of Hell and Vilbert's father, he has power over life and death.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**

* * *

**

Rebecca and Jared, the White Mage and Black Belt Replicas, were spying on the Light Warriors and the Earth Orb Recovery Team heading towards the Dark Warriors Fortress. They also saw the Light Warrior Replicas heading there as well.

"Which one is which?" asked Jared.

"I'm not sure," replied Rebecca, "but what I want to know is, where are the imposters Sarda told us about?"

"Imposters?" asked Jared.

"Yes," replied Rebecca, "Two people who look just like us. I wonder where they could be."

"You mean those two following the Light Warriors?" asked Jared.

"Which ones?" asked Rebecca, "There are two groups."

"The larger one," replied Jared.

Jared was right. White Mage and Black Belt were right behind the Light Warriors and Earth Orb Recovery Team.

"That's them!" exclaimed Rebecca, "Hurry!"

Down in the grassy plains, (which considering it was the villains' fortress, the grass was surprisingly green, and had more than a few flowers, courtesy of Garland) Black Mage made a suggestion.

"You know, I could easily solve this whole problem in one simple way," said Black Mage, "Another Hadoken!"

"You could," said Thief, "But while it would destroy the Dark Warriors and the Lich King, it would probably also destroy the Earth Orb, which is the whole reason we're on this quest in the first place."

"Oh, I'm sure it'll be alright," said Black Mage.

"Just don't do it," said Quistis "Trust us, its better like that."

The Light Warrior and Earth Recovery Team stopped in front of the large, wooden door that led to the inside of the fortress.

"So how do we go about doing this?" asked Auron.

Fighter walked to the right of the door and rang a doorbell that was conveniently placed there.

"_Without_ letting the enemies know we're here?" asked Thief.

Much to their surprise, an eager Garland greeted them at the door.

"Hey guys, sorry for the long wait! I've got cookies in the kitchen!" he said.

"Um, yes, that's great!" exclaimed an insincere Thief.

"Come in! Follow me inside," said Garland.

After looking at each other in confusion, the Light Warriors and the Earth Recovery Team followed Garland inside the Dark Warrior Fortress.

"Does it bother you at all that we're being led by a villain right into a villains' fortress?" asked Black Belt.

"When those villains are the Dark Warriors, not really," replied White Mage, "Garland tries, but he isn't that good at being a villain."

"But what about the others?" asked Black Belt, "There are three other Dark Warriors plus the Lich King himself!"

"Even so, they are outnumbered," said White Mage, "I think we'll be fine as long as we're here to help them."

Rebecca and Jared had not followed them inside, but rather gone through the back door to catch White Mage and Black Belt by surprise.

"This may be easier than we thought," said Jared.

"Don't speak too soon, Jared," said Rebecca, "or you might jinx it."

They were hiding behind two pillars as Garland led everyone into the main room, where Drizz'l, Bikke, Vilbert, and Lich were all waiting.

"Garland…" said Drizz'l, "Why have you led them right to us?"

"To give them cookies!" exclaimed Garland.

"Oh yeah…the _cookies_," said Vilbert.

"You guys catch up while I go get them," said Garland, as he made his exit out the hall and to the kitchen.

"So…what brings ye here?" asked Bikke.

"Oh, just traveling aimlessly, going nowhere in particular," replied Red Mage.

"Really?" asked Bikke, "I thought ye were all after the Earth Orb…"

Vilbert and Drizz'l both elbowed Bikke in the stomach at the same time, trying to tell him to keep quiet about the Earth Orb.

"I mean, so how were yer travels?" asked Bikke.

"Quite exciting!" replied Fighter, "What an adventure we had! We ran into these dangerous wolves and Black Mage blew up an entire mountain!"

"Ah, that explains that chunk of rock that destroyed one of our towers," said Drizz'l, "I was wondering what caused that."

"Son, may I speak to you for a moment?" asked Lich.

Vilbert followed Lich to the nearest corner of the room, which also happened to be the darkest.

"Tell me why we are entertaining the Light Warriors instead of killing them?" asked Lich.

"Because we poisoned their cookies," replied Vilbert, "We figured it would be easier if we let the poison do the killing for us. In fact, here comes Garland with the cookies now!"

"Cookies?" asked Rinoa.

"Come and get 'em!" said Garland.

Hesitantly, they got themselves a cookie, which was either vanilla flavored or chocolate flavored. Garland moved over to where Lich and the Dark Warriors were conversing.

"This is gonna work out great!" squealed Garland.

"I have to agree," agreed Drizz'l, "Once the poison kicks in, they'll be nothing more than lifeless corpses, and our problem will instantly be solved!"

"Poison?" asked Garland, "No, no, no, I used sugar in my cookies."

"What?" asked the others bluntly.

"You didn't really expect me to give them _poisoned _cookies, did you?" asked Garland.

"Well, yeah," said Drizz'l, "This entire plan was to kill the Light Warriors without having to fight them!"

"But _poison _them?" asked Garland.

"Yes!" they all exclaimed.

"Well that's not very nice," said Garland, "I mean, they may be the enemy, but it would be rude to cheat!"

"Yar, we be villainous villains!" barked Bikke, "We live to cheat!"

"That just doesn't seem fair," said Garland.

"We're villains!" cried Drizz'l, "We don't play fair!"

"These cookies are really good!" exclaimed Black Belt.

"Yes, who would have thought that one of our sworn enemies was quite a good chef?" wondered White Mage.

"I must admit, they are delicious," said Auron.

"I hope he makes more of these, yah?" exclaimed Wakka.

There was a sound of a vase breaking. Everyone turned to see Rebecca and Jared trying to sneak by, though no one had any idea who they were.

"Hey! That looks just like White Mage!" exclaimed Black Mage.

"And the guy next to her looks like Black Belt," said Fighter.

"What? Could they be…more replicas?" asked White Mage.

"What are you talking about?" asked Rebecca, "_You're _the replicas!"

"We _look_ like replicas, but…" started Black Belt, but was interrupted by White Mage groaning and saying, "Where do I even begin correcting you?"

Rebecca and Jared knew what to do. They leapt forward and gave a swift blow across each of their faces, and next thing they knew, they disappeared.

"Hey! Where'd they go?" asked Quistis.

"We sent the replicas to another dimension where they will remain," replied Rebecca.

"But aren't _you_ the replicas?" asked Red Mage.

"No, of course not," replied Jared, "_They_ were the replicas."

"How do we know we can believe you on that?" asked Black Mage.

"Why wouldn't you?" asked Rebecca in reply, using a new tactic, "I mean, wouldn't you trust someone who is willing to satisfy your sexual urges, if you know what I mean?"

"I'm beginning to like this White Mage better, even if it's not the real White Mage!" exclaimed Black Mage.

"I can't believe those replicas had us fooled," sighed Fighter.

The Light Warriors and Earth Recovery Team nodded in agreement. Even Quistis and Rinoa, the two smarter members of the party, agreed with them.

"Should we tell them they're being played for fools?" asked Drizz'l.

"Why bother?" asked Lich in reply, "I find it very amusing."

"I just can't believe they were posing as White Mage and Black Belt this whole time!" exclaimed Vilbert.

"Yes, who would be thinking they were fakes?" asked Bikke.

"I can't believe we let ourselves be fooled by their tricks!" roared Garland.

_How stupid can you guys get?_ wondered Drizz'l and Lich.

"Anyway, down to business," said Thief, "You have something we want, and we want it back."

"But you said I could keep your apron!" gasped Garland, "You said last week in school you didn't need it anymore and that I could have it!"

"Not the apron, fool," said Thief, "The Earth Orb!"

"This could all be solved in a very simple way," said Fighter, "Black Mage, blast them away with a giant Hadoken! Since you're not limited on Hadokens now, you won't have to worry about anything!"

Fighter turned to see that Black Mage was not there. He had been taken to the end of the hallway, being led by Rebecca, into the fortress dungeon.

"So are we gonna do this or what?" asked Black Mage.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	13. 13: Who's Who?

**Hey everyone, it's me, The Goon. Enjoy Chapter 13 and please review :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

**Rinoa- A scout for Quistis**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**Lich - The King of Hell and Vilbert's father, he has power over life and death.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**

* * *

**

"So are we gonna do this or what?" asked Red Mage.

"Depends," replied Thief, "Does someone want to explain what the hell just happened?"

"What do you mean?" asked Red Mage.

"As soon as those two strange people appeared, White Mage and Black Belt just disappeared," remarked Thief.

"And?" asked Red Mage.

"Where did they go?" asked Thief.

* * *

White Mage and Black Belt had gone from the Dark Warriors Fortress to a plain white dimension within half a second.

"Whoa! It's white everywhere!" exclaimed Black Belt.

"Just who were those two people that looked like us?" asked White Mage.

"It was almost as if someone had created exact replicas of us," said Black Belt.

"But how can that be? Sure, there are powerful wizards and brilliant magicians, but the only one I know who can do something this extraordinary is…wait a minute," said White Mage.

"What seems to be the matter?" asked Black Belt.

"Have you ever noticed how Sarda gets bored often?" asked White Mage.

"All the time, actually," replied Black Belt, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I'm thinking this replica thing that's happening is something that he calls a joke," said White Mage, "And pardon my language, but for that, he is, without a doubt, a jackass."

"White Mage!" exclaimed Black Belt, "I never thought I'd hear a single word of vulgarity out of your mouth!"

"When you get someone like a White Mage angry enough, you would be surprised what I can say," said White Mage.

"I…don't think I see you as the same person anymore, White Mage," said Black Belt.

"Shut up!" shouted White Mage.

"Again with the vulgarity! What is happening to you, White Mage?" asked Black Belt.

"Instead of asking what is happening to me (which the answer to that is _nothing_)," said White Mage, "We should be figuring out a way to get out of this strange dimension!"

"I would suggest we explore it a little but there's nothing but white emptiness here," said Black Belt.

"Unless someone on the outside can reverse this course of events," stated White Mage, "I see no way of us getting out of here on our own."

* * *

"What are you just standing there for?" cried Jared, "Take out the Dark Warriors!"

"I dunno," said Thief, "It's usually more convincing when White Mage or Black Belt tells us to do something."

"I'M Black Belt!" exclaimed Jared.

"No, you're not," said Red Mage, "You're just a fraud, _disguised_ as Black Belt, along with that other mage!"

* * *

Black Mage was still in the back room, but not in a way he would ever expect. One thing he instantly liked much better about Rebecca than White Mage was that it was easy to convince Rebecca to lift up her robes for him. It was just as easy to pop right into action. Rebecca knelt down, with her robes over her face, and Black Mage went right into action in a doggy position. Fighter was coming in from around the corner, hearing Rebecca's pleasurable moans and Black Mage's cries of lusty satisfaction.

"Hey BM, Thief suggested I bother you instead of him," said Fighter, "Since you're my best friend and all. Oh, and while you're at it, Hadoken this place to the ground so we can get the Earth Orb!"

Black Mage leaped back, surprised and irritated that Fighter interrupted that moment of pure luck.

"Dammit, Fighter, I was having a moment with White Mage!" said Black Mage.

"That doesn't look like White Mage," said Fighter, "Her robes are different!"

"What does it matter?" asked Black Mage.

Rebecca was beginning to break down into tears, and to the surprise of both Fighter and Black Mage, Rebecca asked with a choke in her throat, "Y-You mean…I'm just a substitute…for White Mage?"

"See? She _just_ admitted she's not White Mage!" said Fighter.

"As much as I care, which is very little, that is surprisingly the smartest thing I've ever heard you say since we began this stupid quest," said Black Mage, "Hell, that might even be the smartest thing you've ever said in your life!"

"But there is _one_ thing White Mage and this woman have in common!" stated Fighter.

"What would that be?" asked Black Mage.

"They both have really big hammers!" exclaimed Fighter.

"What does that mean?" asked Black Mage.

He turned around and saw that Rebecca had pulled out, from under her robes, a giant hammer much like the one White Mage had, only it was pure gold instead of dark blue.

"Uh oh," muttered Black Mage.

* * *

"I'm telling you, _I'm_ Black Belt, and that woman across the hall _is_ White Mage!" said Jared.

"Okay then, if you're really Black Belt, then answer me this," said Red Mage, "Where are you from?"

While Jared thought up an answer, Thief whispered, "Psst, where _is_ Black Belt from?"

"Don't you remember?" whispered Red Mage, "About half a year ago in Pre-Calculus, he said he was from a mountain stronghold in the east…not sure what it was called, though."

"I am from a mountain stronghold in the east!" declared Jared.

"You ARE Black Belt!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"I can't believe how stupid you are, Red Mage," said Thief, "If he were really Black Belt, he could tell us which mountain stronghold in the east it was."

"It could be any of them," said Jared, "How else would I learn all of the magic spells I have?"

"Ha! That proves you're a fake!" shouted Thief proudly, "Black Belt doesn't know the slightest thing about magic! He's your stereotypical jock! Therefore, you're a fake!"

"Though it does leave us with the question of where the real Black Belt still is," said Red Mage.

Suddenly, something small, blue, and loud came crashing through the wall. Rebecca had used her giant gold hammer to send Black Mage flying through all the walls until Red Mage blocked him. He left holes in the other walls.

"Dammit! Those were brand new!" whined Garland.

"Organs…bleeding…back…aching…head…spinning…" Black Mage said as he attempted to get back up.

"Well, you're no use to anyone like that," said Rinoa, "Here!"

Rinoa threw another Panacea to Black Mage, which instantly cured him.

"You should have made him pay a price," said Quistis, "A heavy price."

"Well, at least I feel better now!" exclaimed Black Mage.

"Perfect!" exclaimed Fighter, "Now you can Hadoken this place to the ground!"

"Excellent," cackled Black Mage, "It will be my pleasure!"

"ENOUGH!" shouted Lich.

Red lightning bolts emitted from Lich's body, and dark, purple orbs circled around his body.

"Dark Warriors, attack them!" commanded Lich.

"Dammit, that totally cancelled out my Hadoken!" cursed Black Mage.

"Finally, we're getting somewhere," said Auron.

"About time we got into action, yah!" exclaimed Wakka.

"Let's do this, guys!" shouted Zell.

"This should be easy," said Drizz'l.

* * *

From many miles away, Sarda could hear thousands of hundreds of conversations going on all over the world. But right now, one was catching his attention. He knew Black Belt and White Mage were trapped inside the dimension, and could hear White Mage saying, "Unless someone on the outside can reverse this course of events…" and stopped to consider something.

"You know what?" said Sarda to The Principal, "We don't _really_ need Rebecca and Jared to get White Mage and Black Mage out of the way!"

"And how is that?" asked The Principal.

"I have control over space and time! If I want them to be whisked away from the Light Warriors, I can just do that myself!" exclaimed Sarda, "I'm sure Rebecca and Jared will have some other use eventually, but for now, their part is done."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	14. 14: Not so Ultimate Climax

**Hey everyone, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 14 is finally up. Enjoy and please review :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

**Rinoa- A scout for Quistis**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**Lich - The King of Hell and Vilbert's father, he has power over life and death.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**

* * *

**

The white void that White Mage and Black Belt had been trapped in started to turn into a dark purple void. It began to twirl around into a vortex, sucking White Mage and Black Belt down into it.

"What's happening?" asked White Mage.

"Something must have happened on the outside!" exclaimed Black Belt.

"But what?" asked White Mage.

White Mage and Black Belt landed in the middle of the room where everyone was in the middle of battling each other. Fighter and Drizz'l were up against each other in sword to sword combat. Fighter stepped on Drizz'l's head and used that to get out from the corner in the wall he was trapped in, while Drizz'l added power to his attacks.

"Well fought, Fighter," admitted Drizz'l, "I guess it's no wonder you're one of the top athletes at the academy."

"Nah, it's all thanks to my brilliant sword chucks idea!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Which brings me to the point of your lack of _intelligence_ being your downfall," said Drizz'l.

"Intelligence is how I thought up of sword chucks!" exclaimed Fighter.

"You don't pick up on subtext, do you?" asked Drizz'l.

Black Mage and Garland were staring each other down, waiting for the other to make a move.

"Would you like a cookie while we wait for someone to make the first move?" asked Garland.

"Depends," replied Black Mage, "Are these cookies made of evil?"

"Nah, they're made of sugar," replied Garland, "Made by the very hands of an iron, yet caring, fist!"

Thief had Bikke's boots stuck in the ground, thanks to his daggers, but instead of finishing the villain off, Thief was making negotiations with Bikke.

"So if I kill my own teammates as well as yours, I can have your ship and all of your property?" asked Thief.

"Nah," replied Bikke, "I was thinking more of an eye for an eye and a foot for a foot…Give me the eye of one of your comrades and I will give you the eye of one of mine…or a foot, whichever you prefer."

"Why in the hell would I want a mutilated eye?" asked Thief.

"Would you rather have the foot?" asked Bikke.

Vilbert and Red Mage were in a tight corner of the room, rolling dice and debating systems and rules.

"Best of 5 wins!" declared Red Mage.

"But I already won best of 3!" whined Vilbert, "The rules says that best of three gets the first move!"

"Rules are made to be broken!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"Good Lord, this has to be the saddest climatic battle I've ever seen!" complained White Mage.

"I must agree with that," said Lich, "However, this is not the climax. This is only the beginning!"

"I guess that means _we'll_ have to fight you instead," said Black Belt.

"Not so fast!" shouted Rebecca, "_We're _the ones who are supposed to fight the imposters!"

"Aren't they supposed to be trapped in a separate dimension whenever we encounter them?" asked Jared.

"Sarda easily gets bored," said White Mage.

"Sarda did this?" asked Rebecca.

"Are you really surprised?" asked White Mage.

"Well, yeah, I actually kinda am a bit surprised," replied Rebecca, as ashamed as she was to admit it.

"Is this the part where we all fight each other gruesomely?" asked Jared.

"I am a White Mage," said White Mage, "I do not fight unless acting upon self defense."

"As do I," said Rebecca, "But you are mistaken in one way. I am White Mage, not you. You are just a simple copy created by Sarda the Sage."

"What the? No you're not!" cried White Mage, "How utterly preposterous!"

"How dare you insult White Mage!" shouted Black Belt, rushing in for an attack on Rebecca. Black Belt lifted his leg to deliver a strong kick to Rebecca, but it was blocked the palm of Jared's hand.

"Wow, Sarda did _really_ good with this whole replica thing," said Black Belt, "I mean, I knew he was more than capable of it, but he really got everything right…even my strength!"

"He might want to work on the style of clothes, however," said White Mage.

Black Belt went to attack Rebecca again, but again, Jared blocked it, this time however, with his arms.

"I cannot allow you to lay so much as a finger on White Mage!" cried Jared.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken," said Black Belt, "That's White Mage. What you have is the replica!"

"Do you take me for a fool?" asked Jared.

"Well…yeah, I kinda did," said Black Belt, "But anyway…let's take this outside!"

Black Belt tackled Jared into the ground, and they rolled through the castle wall to the outside, wrecking more of the wall.

"It's time to end this," said Lich.

Lich began to summon the demons of Hell into the Dark Warrior Fortress. Floating above Lich's skull was none other than the Earth Orb.

"There it is!" cried Quistis.

"It's the Earth Orb!" exclaimed Rinoa.

"It's more beautiful than I ever imagined!" said Zell in admiration.

"And it's mine for eternity!" declared Lich.

"Wait a minute," said Vilbert, "I thought you said you were lending it to us!"

"Stupid boy," said Lich, "I said I'm _lending_ it to you. That didn't mean you would have it forever. Besides, I need it right now."

Using the power of the Earth Orb, Lich sent the entire fortress flying in midair, just staying below the maximum height of the mountain range surrounding the fortress. Everything surrounding the room everyone was gathered in was flying in circles around them. Black Belt and Jared looked up at the castle they were just in moments ago, now in midair in the center of a red, steamy tornado.

"White Mage!" they both cried.

Fighter went to grab the Earth Orb, but he was thrown down into the floor.

"Oh no!" cried White Mage, "Fighter!"

"Earth Orb Recovery Team!" cried Quistis, "Attack!"

While White Mage was healing Fighter, Quistis led a group attack consisting of Zell, Rinoa, Auron, and Wakka. They all surrounded Lich and charged at him with everything they had, but he would either repel their attacks or teleport himself from one spot to another. Wakka had tried to throw his blitz ball at Lich's skull, but Lich teleported behind him and whacked his head, putting him in a concussion.

"I suppose I have no choice, then," said Black Mage.

"He's gonna do it," said Thief, "He's gonna Hadoken the Lich King!"

"We surrender, Lord Lich," said Black Mage, bowing to Lich.

"BLACK MAGE!" cried Thief and Red Mage.

"What?" cried White Mage.

"How could you, Black Mage?" asked Fighter, who was now healed, "We thought you were a friend!"

"Do you really?" asked Lich, "Well then, Black Mage, prove to me that you surrender. Destroy the Light Warriors and everyone else in this room, and I may consider letting you live…as well as being second in command of Hell itself!"

"I'm liking this proposition," said Black Mage.

"Don't do it, Black Mage!" cried Fighter.

"Seeing as I would pickpocket him either way, it doesn't matter to me," said Thief.

"But if we lose Black Mage to Lich, we won't have him in the front," said Red Mage, "And then who will be out meat shield?"

"Fighter, of course," said Thief.

_So do I kill the Light Warriors and Lich at the same time, or do I kill the Light Warriors and then usurp Lich as the King of Hell?_

_I'll kill the Light Warriors either way, but it's still too hard!_

**_

* * *

_To be continued...**

**Next chapter should be the last chapter of the 2nd story arc**

**~The Goon~**


	15. 15: Extra Credit

**Hey everyone, it's me, The Goon. This chapter is the conclusion of the second story arc. Enjoy and please review :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**Zell- A goofy guy who is always getting himself into trouble, and is part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Auron- A ladies' man who gets the attention from a lot of girls, who is also part of the team accompanying the Light Warriors to retrieve the Earth Orb**

**Wakka- A beach boy who ends most sentences with "man" and "yah", and part of the...well, in short, "Earth Orb Recovery Team"**

**Quistis Trepe- A teacher at 8 Bit Academy who forms the Earth Orb Recovery Team who accompany the Light Warriors**

**Rinoa- A scout for Quistis**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**Lich - The King of Hell and Vilbert's father, he has power over life and death.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**

* * *

**

"Well, Black Mage?" asked Lich, "What is your decision?"

"Please don't betray us, Black Mage!" cried Fighter, "I'll give you a cookie when we get back to the academy."

"I think it'll take a little more than a cookie to change his mind, Fighter," said Thief.

"Need I remind you, Black Mage, that if you're second in command, you will only answer to me and otherwise control the entire legions of Hell?" asked Lich.

"What?" cried Thief, "No fair! How can anyone resist that much power?"

"It's actually quite peaceful living the simple life," said White Mage, "You would be wise to take the same path, so that you may be content with what you have."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" stated Thief.

"You'll give _him_ power over demons and not me?" asked Vilbert.

"Sorry, son, but you never showed as much interest in having such power," said Lich.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," said Black Mage, "But did you say I _only_ answer to you?"

"Correct," replied Lich.

"Okay, listen, I don't take orders from anybody but one person, and I don't even _listen _to him that much, but if I'm gonna be the King of Hell, I can't be stuck answering from you!" exclaimed Black Mage, "My answer is NO!"

Black Mage released an energy beam that was the color purple and shot it to the ceiling. Smaller, longer beams began to spread out and destroy whatever got in its path, which was mainly the stone walls holding the fortress up. At the same time, Thief zoomed by the Earth Orb, stealing it from Lich, and robbing him of infinite power. The fortress may have started to fall back to the ground, but that didn't stop Lich from attacking everyone in sight. Fighter was thrown back by Lich's powerful blasts. White Mage was unable to see him because Rebecca had tackled White Mage down to the ground to try and get rid of her. During the struggle, however, Rebecca and Jared suddenly disappeared within the blink of an eye.

"What just happened?" asked Black Belt, "Where did the replicas go?"

"I think I know what most likely happened," said White Mage, "Based on the unruly presence I feel, Sarda has trapped them in a separate pocket dimension outside of our own."

"I didn't know you could feel all of that, White Mage," said Black Belt.

"That's one of the things I have to know in order to enter the White Mage University," said White Mage.

"White Mage University?" asked Black Belt.

"I plan to further enhance my abilities to use white magic by attending classes there after I graduate from 8 Bit Academy," said White Mage, "What about you, Black Belt? What are your plans after the academy?"

"Well, since you asked," replied Black Belt, "I intend to form a bodyguard training program nearby the WMU. Since it is my duty to protect you from harm, location is everything."

"That sounds like a great plan, Black Belt," said White Mage.

"But why did Sarda put them in a separate dimension?" asked Black Belt.

"As I said before, he gets bored easily," replied White Mage.

"Earth Orb Recovery Team!" cried Quistis, "Attack!"

"Light Warriors GO!" shouted Fighter.

Quistis, Rinoa, Auron, Wakka, and Zell went in attack formation behind the Light Warriors, who all charged at Lich at the same time. All the attacks were strong, but it was Black Mage's energy wave that knocked Lich down. The Earth Orb, being in Thief's possession, rendered him helpless. He was defeated.

"_Now_ will you admit that I'm stronger than you?" asked Black Mage.

"N-Never," stuttered Lich, as he struggled to stand back up, "You may have defeated me for now, but I am still the Lich King, and will not answer to the likes of you! I will be back, but next time, I will have the entire legions of Hell by my side, to take you out once and for all!"

"Yeah, good luck with that, it might actually work if I _haven't_ taken over Hell by then," said Black Mage sarcastically.

When Lich disappeared into the red and black vortex he created behind himself, the Dark Warrior Fortress, or what was left of it, fell to the ground with everyone inside. Fortunately, it didn't hit White Mage or Black Belt. Rocks were all over the floor, and the tall, proud Dark Warrior Fortress was now reduced to piles of rubble. The Dark Warriors stood in the middle of what was left of their fortress, while the Light Warriors and the Earth Orb Recovery Team crawled out from the wreckage and met up with White Mage and Black Belt.

"We have what we came here for!" exclaimed Thief, holding up the Earth Orb, "I'll just put this in my bag of infinite holding for safekeeping."

"That bag looks awfully familiar," said Red Mage.

"No it doesn't," replied Thief.

"So, then," said Black Mage, "We gonna make out or what?"

"Not even in _your_ dreams will that ever happen," replied White Mage.

"You can't say that for sure," added Black Mage.

"Even so, it's never going to happen," said White Mage.

"Dammit, I already miss that White Mage Replica…_she_ could fall for my charms and let me in her robes _easily_," said White Mage.

Looking around themselves, the Dark Warriors wondered what to do. First thing, obviously, would be rebuilding their fortress.

"I guess we know what we'll be doing afterschool for a while," said Drizz'l.

"Plotting revenge on the Light Warriors?" asked Drizz'l.

"Plunder the academy for all her riches?" asked Bikke.

"Bake cookies for the cafeteria ladies?" asked Garland.

"None of the above," replied Drizz'l, "Well, maybe the revenge part, but _after_ we rebuild our fortress."

"Oh," they all said unanimously.

"Let's do the kitchen first," said Garland, "I kinda already promised the cafeteria ladies I'd bring them cookies."

"Why me?" asked Drizz'l.

"Well, that takes care of another long, yet rewarding, quest!" declared Fighter.

"Rewarding?" asked Black Mage, "I didn't get the satisfaction I wanted!"

"And quite frankly, the Dark Warriors didn't have much worth stealing," said Thief.

"And their defeat only gave us a bare minimum of experience," said Red Mage, "It's not even enough to level up and bring up my stats! To call this a _rewarding_ quest is an overstatement."

"Nonetheless, you have recovered one of the Elemental Orbs, and that's another step closer to the destined heroes of Light saving the world," said Red Mage.

"Can we go home now?" asked Black Belt, "The semifinals of the Wu Xia competition are on tonight."

"Very well," replied White Mage.

"Not so fast," said Quistis.

_Uh-oh_, thought Black Mage.

"Light Warriors, and you guys," said Quistis, pointing at White Mage and Black Belt, "As a reward for successfully recovering the Earth Orb with as little help from us as needed, you will each receive extra credit."

"Score!" they all shouted.

"What about us?" asked Auron, "Girls like brains _and_ skill, and they won't pay attention to me if they think I don't have brains!"

"Relax, you're all getting extra credit, too," said Quistis.

"Whew," said Rinoa, "I was worried for a minute. I really need that extra credit to pass this grading period."

"It's just not as much extra credit as the Light Warriors," said Quistis.

"What?" cried Wakka.

"Why?" asked Zell.

"Because we were only here to provide backup," replied Quistis, "This quest was really for the Light Warriors. At least, that's what Sarda told us."

"Well it looks like we _were_ rewarded in some way or another for this quest," said Red Mage, "Extra credit never hurts anyone!"

"Neither does saving the world from evil," said White Mage.

"But extra credit is what really matters!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"They _really_ need to get their priorities in check," said White Mage.

* * *

**Day 41**

At the academy that morning, Vincent arrived in school, already angry with Cloud for making him do this, and with himself for not trying harder to get out of it. All of his clothes were pink for the day, and there were constantly people giggling and laughing everywhere he looked. Cloud passed by him as Vincent walked to his next class.

"Could this day get any better?" asked Cloud with a smile.

"I'll get you for this," said Vincent.

"Isn't it great to see them get along so well?" asked Fighter, who was watching from a distance.

"It kinda reminds me of you and us," replied Black Mage.

"I know! That's awesome!" exclaimed Fighter.

"A constant attempt by one to kill the other!" cried Black Mage.

"I know, it's great to have you for a best friend!" said Fighter.

In the dark room that The Principal did his duties in, Sarda was informing him of the successful mission to retrieve the Earth Orb.

"And what became of Rebecca and Jared?" asked The Principal.

"They are still trapped in one of my other dimensions," replied Sarda, "I will release them when the time has come for them to be of further use."

"So what now?" asked The Principal.

"Now we give them time to relax," replied Sarda, "While the Fire Orb is more important, our next quest for them is more immediate…or rather, a side-quest."

"You mean the…?" asked The Principal.

"Yep," replied Sarda, "And I have a wonderful idea for this year!"

"If you're thinking of making Dark Warrior Replicas, forget it," said The Principal.

"Nothing of the sort," said Sarda, "I was thinking of something more…befitting the task."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**This chapter concludes the second story arc. Hope you enjoyed it :)**

**~The Goon~**


	16. 16: Annual Ball Game and all that jazz

**Hey everyone, it's me, The Goon. First, there are a few characters who did not originate from Final Fantasy, but have previously been associated with characters who were. Also, Chapter 16 is the first chapter of the third story arc, so please enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**

* * *

**

**Day 45**

Today was a special day at 8 Bit Academy. It was one of the most anticipated events of the year, apart from the Fantasy Ball at the end of the year. It was the Warrior Ball Game. Each year, two warrior teams are chosen amongst the Light Warriors, the Dark Warriors, the "Real" Light Warriors, and the Other Warriors.

"Why are we the 'Real' Light Warriors?" asked White Wizard.

"I dunno," replied Knight, "Some jackass wizard took our jobs. Now we're just regular warriors."

And so this year, the Light Warriors and Dark Warriors were chosen to compete. Each side could choose as many other players as they wanted, as long as they had an even number, though it's usually around 4 to 5 extra players per team.

"So who do we choose to play on our team?" asked Black Mage.

"That would depend on who the Dark Warriors choose for their side and how many," replied Red Mage.

"Not so much," noted Thief, "Certain contractual inevitabilities may allow us to have more players or greater benefits in the game."

"But that contract only applies to us," said Red Mage.

"That's where you're wrong, RM," said Thief, "Do you know who the ref of that game will be?"

"I can honestly answer that by saying no," replied Red Mage.

"Well, I managed to dupe him into buying into our Light Warrior contract, so now he follows _my _rules," said Thief.

"Wow," said Black Mage, "Something you've done that wasn't stupid."

"Wasn't stupid?" asked Thief, "Then how was I able to get Fighter to sign you three up for life service to me?"

"That's Fighter," replied Black Mage, "He's stupid!"

Not too far away, Hayner and Seifer, two boys who did not get along at all, were arguing with each other. Pence and Olette were standing by Hayner, while Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi stood by Seifer.

"That was just low, y'know?" said Raijin.

"I did NOT cheat off your test!" shouted Hayner.

"Bull," said Seifer, with his arrogant, cocky expression, "I saw you peeking over my paper to get my answers. Answers that I studied hard to learn."

"There's no way Hayner could do it!" exclaimed Pence, "Hayner was in between me and Olette!"

"And you were on the other side of the classroom," said Olette.

"Bullshit," said Fujin, using her one-liner.

"Not only did you cheat off my test, but you also had the audacity to steal my supplies!" shouted Seifer.

"Thief," said Red Mage, "Would you know anything about that?"

"What can I say?" asked Thief, holding up Seifer's bag, "Seifer's got stuff in here that peasants would kill for!"

"Guys," said Black Mage, "Where's Fighter?"

Fighter had already approached Seifer and Hayner, interrupting their argument.

"If you're looking for your bag, Thief found it!" exclaimed Fighter.

"FIGHTER!" shouted the other three Light Warriors.

"What?" asked Fighter, "It just didn't feel right to lie."

"It doesn't feel right to die, either, does it?" asked Black Mage.

"I'm afraid I don't follow," said a confused Fighter.

"Then you must bleed," said Black Mage, holding his cold, hard dagger.

"You'll pay for that dearly at the game," said Seifer.

"Oh yeah?" asked Red Mage, "What are _you_ gonna do?"

"Dark Warriors," said Fujin.

"Yeah, that's right! The Disciplinary Committee of 8 Bit Academy is playing for the Dark Warriors, y'know?" declared Raijin.

"And that will prove once and for all that you're nothing but losers," said Seifer.

"Nothing but losers?" asked White Mage, who was walking by and overheard bits of the conversation, "They're the Light Warriors! They may not be perfect at their jobs yet, but how dare you speak of the chosen few who will save the world from Chaos! It's not as if you were so great yourself!"

The Light Warriors, along with Hayner, Pence, and Olette cheered her on, laughing at Seifer for getting burned by White Mage.

"Sounds like you need an attitude adjustment," growled Seifer.

Seifer clenched his fist and went to hit White Mage, but Black Belt kicked Seifer into the wall nearby before he could do so.

"Don't you ever lay a hand on White Mage like that!" shouted Black Belt.

"Hey!" shouted Raijin, "That wasn't cool, y'know?"

"Monsters," said Fujin.

"Oh, you are all just _begging_ for me to use my Hadoken," said Black Mage.

"Now hold on a second, everyone!" exclaimed Dr. Swordopolis, who was moving by, "There's no need to start a fight in the middle of school! Settle it at the game!"

"Fine then," growled Seifer, "You're all dead meat at the game."

"Yeah, the Dark Warriors are gonna win, y'know?" exclaimed Raijin.

"Instant annihilation," said Fujin.

Vivi just waddled along behind them, with Red Mage saying, "You know, being so supportive of the Dark Warriors only makes me think they're in with the bad guys we've been facing."

"That's not true," said Dr. Swordopolis, "Seifer may be a bully sometimes, but he means no true harm. He was one of the bravest few who fought the Cornerian Airship Battle."

"Really?" asked White Mage, "Tell us about that!"

* * *

_Several years ago, in the City of Corneria, King Steve had released his troops for battle. While the troops ran out the city into the battlefield, King Steve sat in the throne room with his daughter, Princess Sara. _

"_Surely our victory today will build up our reputation and build a stepping stone for our world conquest!" exclaimed King Steve._

"_Dad," said Sara, "We have no guarantee of victory, and the army is exhausted from the intense battle they fought yesterday…which was pointless, by __the way."_

"_Well what did you expect? The cafeteria was serving pasta! You know our men go crazy over pasta!" exclaimed King Steve._

"_But the energy they put into getting whatever taste of it they could would have been better spent preparing for today's battle," said Sara. _

"_Nonsense!" declared King Steve, "They need no training! We are the mightiest nation in the world! We're sure to win!"_

"_Your Highness!" came a panicked voice from down the hall. A man about Sara's height, just a little taller than King Steve, with long white hair and royal robes, ran up to the throne to tell King Steve the dire news he had received._

"_Left Hand Man Gary! What is the news?" asked King Steve. _

"_Our troops have assembled on the battlefield…but none of our enemies are on the ground!" cried Gary._

"_What?" cried Sara and King Steve._

"_They're arriving on a massive airship heading right for the city!" exclaimed Gary._

_All three of them ran to the balcony to get a view, and sure enough, the troops were all on the ground, watching the large airship flying towards the city. The entire ship was made of metal, so even if King Steve could launch an airstrike on it in time, it wouldn't harm the ship. It also had protective force fields surrounding the propellers that kept it in the air._

"_Dad! What's that?" asked Sara, pointing in the distance._

_A smaller ship had flown up to the airship. Inside were Seifer, Raijin, Fujin, Vivi, and Dr. Swordopolis. _

"_The battle may be ours yet!" cried Gary. _

"_If the show's going to be that good, I'd best get some popcorn," said King Steve._

"_Dad, if you're the King, I really think you should be more concerned with the plan of attack if the airship gets too close," said Sara. _

"_Silly, silly Sara," retorted King Steve, "They've already got it!" _

_As ignorant as King Steve was, he had been right about this matter. Seifer and his gang had the matter in their hands. Dr. Swordopolis flew out from the __ship, since he was an entity, and looked towards the airship._

"_I will cut off their sense of direction with my powers so that your job will be easier," said Dr. Swordopolis._

_What appeared to be a floating sword spinning once or twice in the air was actually Dr. Swordopolis destroying the enemies' sense of direction. To them, up was down, or maybe left, and down was up, or maybe right. People were bumping into each other because each had a different new perception. The ship Seifer was in landed right on the deck._

"_We're gonna have to take out the ship from the inside to get this thing away from Corneria," said Seifer, "Their directions may be wrong, but the ship is __still big and strong enough to destroy the castle!"_

"_We'll keep an eye on these guys, make sure they don't start any trouble, y'know?" said Raijin._

"_Go, Seifer," said Fujin. _

"_Vivi, you're with me," said Seifer._

_Vivi waddled behind Seifer as they went inside the ship. Raijin sat on some barrels on the deck and watched the enemies bumping into each other or falling off the ship. _

_Seifer and Vivi were below deck and saw the floating emblem that kept the ship afloat. The officer who was using the steering wheel nearby had not __noticed them. Vivi quietly waddled up behind the officer and knocked him out. _

"_Vivi, steer that thing away from here!" shouted Seifer._

_As Vivi did as he was told, Seifer sliced through the power emblem. The ship started to lose altitude and was falling towards the ground._

"_Good enough," said Seifer to Vivi, "Now let's get out of here!"_

_Seifer and Vivi ran up deck and met up with Raijin and Fujin._

"_How are we gonna get off this ship? It's gonna crash, y'know?" asked Raijin. _

"_Swordopolis," said Fujin, pointing to Dr. Swordopolis. _

"_This will hurt a whole lot, but it will guarantee you land safely on the ground," said Dr. Swordopolis._

_He sliced through thin air, and in a snap, Seifer, Vivi, Raijin, and Fujin were on the ground, but on their knees in pain, holding their sides to keep themselves from hurting._

"_Oh, man, I'm gonna feel that one in the morning, y'know?" said Raijin. _

_They could hear the troops cheering for them as the airship crashed and exploded in the plains far from the palace. Even Left Hand Man Gary and Princess Sara were cheering._

"_What's going on?" asked King Steve, "I didn't miss anything, did I? Is it my birthday already?"_

"_Dad, while you were making popcorn, those guys took down the airship! The palace is safe!" exclaimed Sara._

"_Didn't I tell you they had matters in their own hands?" asked King Steve._

_

* * *

_

"Wow!" exclaimed Fighter, "I didn't know that was them!"

"You not knowing things is nothing new," said Black Mage.

"Now, the Disciplinary Committee is very strong and could make good allies," said Dr. Swordopolis, "but they're wrong about the Dark Warriors, so they need to go down this time!"

"Now you're talking!" exclaimed Black Mage.

"Now to decide who we want to play on our team…" said Red Mage.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	17. 17: Bending the Rules a Little Bit

**Hey everyone, it's me, The Goon. After a while of not updating, Chapter 17 is finally up :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and have expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has apparently been made the announcer of the annual ball game (courtesy of Thief)**

**

* * *

**

"So who will we have on our team?" asked Black Mage.

"Well, since Hayner and his friends here have some beef with Seifer and his gang, I suppose they can join our team," replied Red Mage.

"I'll be looking forward to kicking their butts!" exclaimed Hayner.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Einstein? They still have one more player than us, so who else will we recruit?" asked Black Mage.

"We can get more than one recruit thanks to my contractual inevitabilities," said Thief.

"But who will those recruits be?" asked Red Mage.

The first person they all looked at was Black Belt. He didn't notice everyone was looking at him until White Mage cleared her throat loudly enough for him to pay attention.

"Me?" asked Black Belt.

"Yes, _you_," replied White Mage, "It is our duty to guide the Light Warriors toward their destiny, and helping them win this game against the Dark Warriors will only increase their reputation."

"And since the game involves kicking a ball, Black Belt should be perfect for it," said Thief.

"Now that you put it like that, I would love to!" exclaimed Black Mage, displaying his kicks for everyone to see, "But, uh, why don't _you_ do it too, White Mage?"

"Both our religious organization take vows of poverty, Black Belt," replied White Mage, "And because of this, White Mages cannot wear shoes. It would hurt my feet to be kicking a ball around."

"That _is_ a fair point," said Red Mage, looking at White Mage's bare feet on the ground, "But wait! If you can use white magic, then can't you just suck up the pain and heal yourself later?"

"I use my magic for the good of others, Red Mage," replied White Mage, "I rarely use it on myself."

"Then who else do we recruit?" asked Black Mage.

"Aren't we already at the same amount as the Dark Warriors?" asked Olette.

"Like I said before, Olette, certain contractual inevitabilities will have us a greater advantage in numbers," replied Thief.

"Who could possible be stupid enough to sign a contract Thief writes up?" asked Black Mage.

"Yo!" exclaimed Fighter, standing next to Black Mage.

"Okay, who _else_ would be that stupid?" asked Black Mage.

"The game's referee," replied Thief.

"And who would that be?" asked Black Mage.

* * *

"You have _got_ to be fuggin' kidding me!" shouted Black Mage.

It was out by the field, though the field had been magically transformed into 20 different platforms floating in the air, along with the bleachers, each at a different elevation.

"This is almost worse than if Fighter were the referee!" shouted Black Mage, "You got _Zell_ to be the ref for the game?"

"That's _why_ I got Zell," said Thief, "He's bound to fall for any tricks I throw at him, so we got more players."

"Yeah, but where did you find them?" asked Black Mage.

Black Mage was referring to the players Thief had found for the team. They had 3 more actual players than the Dark Warrior Team. Those 3 players were Cloud, Tidus, and Tifa. Drizz'l was holding 3 mechanical balls in his hands, though no one was quite sure what it was aside from his teammates.

"Well, Tifa has a natural good kick, so I recruited her," replied Thief, "And since I bent the rules to make hand balls legal, I also recruited Tidus to hit any balls that come his way."

"And Cloud?" asked Black Mage.

"He volunteered," replied Thief, "Though I'm not entirely sure why. He usually goes somewhere else after school, so I never thought he would get involved in the annual game."

"Funny world, but enough about them," said Black Mage, "Let's worry more on kicking Dark Warrior ass!"

"_That's_ the spirit!" exclaimed Thief.

Meanwhile on the other end, Seifer was watching Hayner, Pence, and Olette come out onto the center platform in their soccer outfits to join their team, while the Dark Warrior Team was preparing to meet them there.

"Hey Drizz'l!"

Seifer could hear the conversations going on around him. He had a knack for that.

"What exactly are those three metal balls you're carrying?" asked Garland.

"They're a surprise for the other team," replied Drizz'l, "I assure you, it will give us an advantage."

"How so?" asked Garland.

"Well I had a few dark elves at the academy follow Thief around, and they reported that Thief got the referee to sign a contact, agreeing that there was no limit to teammate advantages over another team," explained Drizz'l.

"Yeah, I hear you so far," said Garland in acknowledgement.

"So the way I see it, powerful monsters trapped in balls count as teammates," said Drizz'l.

"Funny," commented Garland, "Those sound like that game everyone used to play when we were kids!"

"I assure you, glorious leader," said Drizz'l, with a tone of sarcasm, "_These_ are the real deal, and will get the job done!"

It wasn't long before the two teams met in the center of the middle platform, with Zell ready to call the start of the game. The Light Warriors, Black Belt, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Tifa, Cloud, and Tidus glared at their opponents on the other side of the line, who happened to be the Dark Warriors, Seifer, Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi.

"Relax, you guys," whispered Thief, "We've got this."

"Be prepared for anything," Cloud said to his teammates.

Zell blew the whistle and the game had begun. Tidus made an incredible kick to start off the game, sending the ball flying towards the enemy goal, but somehow, Vilbert made it to the goal fast enough to take the position of goalie. Vilbert was hit in the head by the ball, and while the ball flew up towards one of the platforms, Vilbert fell down.

"Oh merciless sport, how you mock at me so!" whined Vilbert.

"Yeah, yeah, no one wants to hear a whiny Goth freak," said Black Mage, "Now scoot, I need a good perimeter."

"Why?" asked Vilbert.

"I'm sure you know this, but the rules have been bent," replied Black Mage, "I'm going to launch a Level 9 spell that will guarantee our victory."

"On the contrary," said Vilbert, "Drizz'l already has something that will guarantee us _our _victory."

"He's an elf," exclaimed Black Mage, "A dark elf, but an elf nonetheless. What could he do?"

"Just watch," replied Vilbert.

The ball was high in the air, much higher than any of the platforms.

"That ball is so mine!" cried Tifa.

"I think not," muttered Drizz'l, as he threw the three metal balls into the air. They began to glow, and from each of them emerged a giant, metal monster in the shape of a castle guard. One of them used the other two to jump in the air to get the ball, and then threw it towards the opponent's goal. Fortunately, Tidus blocked it with his fighting stick, but it didn't go very far.

"What the hell are those things?" asked Hayner.

"Those are the key to the victory of the Dark Warriors," replied Drizz'l, "I doubt you stand a chance against them."

"Yar, this victory be ours!" cried Bikke.

"This just got a little complicated," stated Thief, as Fighter grabbed the ball away from the monsters.

"Are you really surprised?" asked Black Mage, "You _were_ the one who screwed with the rules."

"But that was supposed to _help_ us," replied Thief.

Fighter made his way past the metal monsters, as well as the Disciplinary Committee. He approached the goal and was about to make the goal.

"I think he might actually make it!" cried Red Mage.

Staying in character, Fighter pulled out his sword and swung the ball into the goal. The whistle blew, but it was no goal.

"No goal!" cried Zell.

"What?" cried the Light Warrior Team.

Thief quickly and quietly crept behind Zell and put a knife to his back.

"Mind telling me what the hell that was about?" asked Thief.

"W-W-Well," stuttered Zell, "You wrote in the c-contract that handballs were allowed…b-but you never said anything about w-weapons so they don't count."

"Damn," cursed Thief, "I knew I should have included that."

"Fighter," said Red Mage, "Vilbert was distracted and you had a clear shot. We could have easily gotten the advantage. Why did you insist on using your weapon?"

"It just felt right to stay in character," replied Fighter innocently, "That's what _you_ always do, RM!"

"Agreed!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"What the? I'm sorry, NO!" shouted Black Mage, "That's not an answer! You staying in character just cost us a goal! Tell you what. Just switch goalie position with Tidus and block anything that comes your way."

"On it like stink on rice!" exclaimed Fighter as he ran towards the goal.

"I never understood why he says that," wondered Red Mage.

"It's Fighter," said Black Mage, "He always says stupid things."

"We'll go towards the other side," said Hayner, with Pence and Olette following shortly behind. They leaped from one platform to another to try and get an advantage on the other team. The score was 0-0 so far. The good news is that the Light Warriors weren't losing. The bad news is that they weren't exactly winning either.

"They're not about to get an advantage over us," growled Seifer, "Disciplinary committee! Guard them!"

The two teams were racing towards each other, and everyone, even the audience, was in a heated uproar about the rush…except for Cloud, who had pulled his sword and guarded himself with it, and Tidus, who was shortly behind him.

"What's up, Cloud?" asked Tidus, "How come you aren't coming after the ball?"

"Because they're here," replied Cloud, "Faster than I anticipated."

"Who? What are you talking about?" asked Tidus.

"Think for once, Tidus," said Cloud, "Normally I don't get involved with the annual game. Did it ever strike you to wonder why I decided to go this year? You think I just decided out of the blue to play in this year's game for the fun of it?"

Tidus never did think about it, nor did he have time, because at that moment, small men with beards came out from behind the stands, with others on large Chocobos, and started shouting and charging.

"Oh no," muttered Thief, "Not here…not now…"

"What's going on?" announced Zell into the megaphone.

"We are the Dwarves, and we are here to deliver justice upon the student here that is known as Prince Elf!" shouted their leader.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	18. 18:Wrongful Justification of Wrongdoings

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 18 is now up for your enjoyment.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or other Square Enix characters (with the exceptions of the Light Warrior Replicas, and the White Mage and Black Mage replicas)**

**Here is a quick recap of the characters, though you can skip ahead to the story if you want:**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as an omnipotent jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and have expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has apparently been made the announcer of the annual ball game (courtesy of Thief)**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

* * *

_Oh no_, thought Thief, _Not here, not now!_

"Anyone seen him at all?" asked the Dwarf Captain, "Has anyone seen the Elf Prince?"

"Uh, nope," replied Thief, "No elves here!"

"Yeah, because the stench of _fag_ would be all around them if there were any here," said Black Mage.

"At least they don't have the stench of weeks without a bath, like some mages that we know," retorted Thief.

"I do not smell!" exclaimed Black Mage, "Those are my spell components!"

"Thief, it seems like you are a little…defensive of the Elves," said Red Mage.

"N-no, not like that," stammered Thief, "I just wanted to make a joke about Black Mage!"

"Well, you do have those…shoes," said Red Mage.

"I was always wondering about those," said Fighter.

"They're not elf shoes," argued Thief, "They're just…shiny and curved."

"Shiny and curved like an elf," said Black Mage, "Boo yah! Damn, I'm funny. I need to write that one down…_heh heh_, shiny and curved like an elf…"

"I'll have you know…"

Before Thief could finish his sentence, the dwarves cried out, "Enough! Let's just rampage throughout this place! Charge!"

Seifer and his gang stood by the Dark Warriors to prepare for the fight, and the metal monsters Drizz'l had summoned were prepared for a good fight, but then another powerful force arrived. It came in the form of a large cruiser ship, which was shaped like a dove. Three figures were standing on top of it, two of whom Thief instantly recognized.

"Attention filthy humans and dwarf scum!" announced the leading figure, "We come on behalf of the King of Elfland, and we demand the immediate return of the Elf Prince!"

"Another one?" asked Olette.

"Who _is_ the Elf Prince?" asked Hayner.

"Whoever he is, he's not here, so run off!" shouted Seifer.

"On the contrary, he is here," said the dark figure.

Everyone now noticed that he looked a lot like Thief and Marcus (Thief's Replica), only much darker. He had the same royal gold clothes, but darker skin and navy blue hair, as opposed to the sky blue hair Thief had.

"That young man right there," he said, pointing his finger at Thief, "is who we are here for! Prince Elf, your father has requested…no, _demanded_, that you return home!"

"Why? I thought you had taken charge of my father's operations while I was on my mission, Chancellor Usurper," said Thief.

"Your father's condition has gotten worse," said the small, blonde figure next to him, who was Dr. Malpractice, "And Chancellor Usurper can no longer handle this on his own. The King has a special task for you, and wants you home immediately."

"No way!" everyone cried out.

"Wait, Thief's a prince?" asked Pence.

"I knew you had the stench of elf!" cried Black Mage.

"So _you're_ the reason our annual game is being interrupted," said an angered Seifer.

"But why do the Dwarves want Thief also?" asked Hayner.

"We just want to get the Earth Orb from him," said the Dwarf Captain, "It belongs to our people, but the Elves have it stuck in their conceited little minds that it belongs to them!"

"We were born from the Earth Orb!" cried Thief, "It doesn't belong in the hands of dirty, lying dwarves!"

"LIAR!" cried the dwarves, "YOU LIE!"

Soon, the entire crowd was in an uproar. No one knew whose side to stick with, so they all started to argue who was right or wrong, or what was really going on. Fists were flying and wounds were delivered. It took the cannon fire from the Elf Cruiser to get everyone quiet, so that only the voice of Chancellor Usurper could be heard.

"This is what will happen," declared Chancellor Usurper, "The Elf Prince will return to Elfland with us, or be struck down with this entire crowd!"

"You can't do that!" cried Hayner.

"Last time I checked," cried Seifer, "Manslaughter of innocent people is against the law!"

"Check again, sonny," said Chancellor Usurper, speaking directly down to Seifer and Hayner, "It's not a crime as far as the Kingdom of Elfland is concerned."

"But why would they strike down their own prince?" asked Olette.

"I was wondering the same thing," replied Pence, "It seems weird that they would come this far to fetch him, but then just take him down."

"Something isn't right about this," mumbled Cloud.

"I agree," said Tidus, "I think that dark chancellor dude is pretty suspicious."

"Is Thief gonna actually go with him?" asked Tifa.

"I believe so," replied Tidus, watching Thief approach the Cruiser.

"I…don't know what's going on here," said Zell, "but it appears we may be putting the game off for a better time."

"No! Don't leave us, Thief!" cried Fighter.

"What will we do without your leadership?" asked Red Mage.

"Oh please, I could do better than that," said Black Mage, "But first things first. So long, Thief! Tell the other flaming elves back in your homelands I said hello!"

"Tell them yourself," declared Thief, "As the leader of the Light Warrior faction, and as the Elf Prince of Elfland, I command you to accompany me on my visit home."

"Alright! We're still a team!" cried Fighter and Red Mage.

"As well as White Mage, Black Belt, and any of the players in this game," declared Thief, "Well, including Zell, but minus the Dark Warriors."

"You can't make us do that, y'know?" shouted Raijin.

"Unfair!" cried Fujin.

"Shall I command Chancellor Usurper to blast the stadiums to pieces then?" asked Thief.

"Uh, no that's fine, we'll go with you!" cried Hayner.

"I suppose if we have no choice, but I don't like this," moaned Seifer.

"He just threatened to take innocent lives," said Black Mage, "I suddenly have a newfound respect for Thief…even if he is an elf."

* * *

Within the Principal's office, Sarda was approaching him once again.

"There seems to have been an interruption in our annual game," said The Principal, "Even if the Elf King requested the Elf Prince's return, it baffles me how they tracked him down."

"I gave them that little tip," replied Sarda.

"What?" asked The Principal, "Why?"

"Remember I said the Fire Orb was located within the earth, presumably a mountain or volcano?" asked Sarda.

"What about it?" asked The Principal.

"The area I was detecting the Fire Orb's presence is fairly close to Elfland," said Sarda.

"Which is where Elf Kingdom is located…" said The Principal, finally catching on to Sarda's intentions.

"So the quickest way to get the Light Warriors to go there and continue their quest was to have someone come fetch them," explained Sarda, "And since I recently learned Thief was the Elf Prince, it was a simple matter of contacting their Diplomatic Affairs office and telling them that the Elf Prince was here at 8-Bit Academy."

"Which would ensure that there would be at least one Light Warrior in the area to search for the Fire Orb," said The Principal.

"Fortunately, using his authority, Thief took the other Light Warriors with him, along with other companions," said Sarda.

"Just have them ready to be back at least by the end of the week," said The Principal.

"Why is that?" asked Sarda, "It may take them longer…hopefully not, but as long as the task is successfully completed then it shouldn't matter how long it takes."

"Normally, I would agree with that," said The Principal, "But with the Fantasy Schools Division meeting approaching, this gives the Light Warriors a time constraint."

"But why? It only matters to us and the staff," said Sarda.

"But we need Thief and Fighter here to go with us," said The Principal.

"Thief, I can understand," said Sarda, "Now that I know who his family is, it explains the stable finances the academy receives. But why Fighter? Unless...you don't mean _that_?"

"Yes, _that_," replied The Principal, "Fighter is much more valuable than his personality gives off, and I need to see if he has matured over the years…at least enough to accept his destiny."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	19. 19: The Con, The Deceiver

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. After a while of not updating, chapter 19 is now finally up.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and have expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Chancellor Usurper - The Supreme Chancellor of Elfland, who is looking to use nefarious means to rise up to the position of King…**

**Dr. Malpractice – The crooked doctor who has been overseeing the King's condition for the past year, and to a certain extent, helps the Chancellor with his evil scheme.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has apparently been made the announcer of the annual ball game (courtesy of Thief)**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

* * *

**Day 46**

The Light Warriors, accompanied by the Disciplinary Committee, as well as Hayner, Pence, Olette, Tidus, Cloud, Tifa, and Zell, had boarded the Elf Cruiser the day before, and were now on their way to Elfland. Dr. Malpractice and Chancellor Usurper were up on the deck looking towards the clouds in front of them. Thief was standing in between them, while everyone else was below decks.

"How bad has my father's condition gotten?" asked Thief.

"Very bad, I'm afraid," replied Dr. Malpractice, "If we don't find some way to cure him soon, the king, as well as all of Elfland, will surely die."

"How could it have come to this?" asked Thief.

"Naturally, I blame the dwarves," replied Chancellor Usurper, "I assume they had something to do with the king's illness in the first place."

"I like your thinking, Chancellor," said Thief admirably.

"As do I, Chancellor," said Dr. Malpractice, but then said to himself in an aside, "That way, your suspicions will be off me."

"What was that, doctor?" asked Chancellor Usurper.

"Uh, I said no doubt the dwarves did something to throw us into this state," replied Dr. Malpractice hesitantly.

* * *

Meanwhile, below decks, everyone else was conversing with each other in the resting quarters.

"I can't believe Thief lied to us this whole time," said Red Mage disappointingly.

"Can't?" cried Black Mage, "He was a con! A deceiver! You're actually surprised he lied to us about his identity?"

"But still, the Prince of Elfland?" asked Olette, "That's a lot to cover up."

"How could Thief do such a thing?" asked Fighter.

"How?" cried Black Mage, "He was a con! A deceiver! You're actually surprised he pulled a stunt like that?"

"I don't care if he's a prince or a chicken wuss," barked Seifer, "He had no right to drag us along with him. No diplomatic benefits of his could make us go along with it."

"And yet here you are," said Hayner, "Whining as usual about how everyone is a lamer except for you. Hate to burst your bubble, but there are _a lot_ of people out there better than you!"

"What was that, loser?" asked Seifer.

"Coming from someone who got his butt kicked at the game yesterday," retorted Hayner.

"That was unofficial because the game was never finished!" shouted Seifer.

"You tell him, Seifer!" exclaimed Raijin, "Make him bleed, y'know?"

"Will you guys stop fighting?" asked Olette.

"Yeah, we have other stuff to worry about right now," said Pence.

"Like what?" asked Seifer and Hayner simultaneously.

"Prince Elf," replied Fujin, pointing to a self portrait of Thief hanging on the wall.

"She's right," said Cloud, crossing his arms and observing the portrait, "Now that we know Thief is actually Prince Elf, we also know that he has an alternative reason for enrolling at the academy."

"Come to think of it, the chancellor did say that Thief's father was ill," said Tifa.

"That may have something to do with it," stated Tidus.

"It has _everything_ to do with it," came a voice from behind.

"Who said that?" cried Zell and Fighter.

"Uh, that would be me," said Dr. Malpractice, stepping out from the shadows of the corridor.

"You're the doctor from before," said Pence.

"And as that doctor," stated Dr. Malpractice, "I have been placed in charge of the king's well-being for the past year."

"What exactly is that about, anyway?" asked Red Mage.

"I guess I could tell you the story," said Dr. Malpractice, "It was almost a year ago…"

* * *

_To be more precise, it was 364 days ago, just one day short of a year. __The King of Elfland had awoken that morning and went to his office to assume his daily duties as the King. The end to the war against the dwarves seemed to be within sight, as the King seemed to have an idea to make peace between the two conflicting nations. _

"_Perhaps if we bribe them with our gold, we can put an end to this war quietly and peacefully," the King said._

_But the idea was scraped when Prince Elf decided against it, and he was not the only one who insisted to keep the war going. Chancellor Usurper felt that diplomacy with dwarves was out of the question._

"_There is no negotiating with a dwarf," Chancellor Usurper would say, "They can't even comprehend the use of a razor!"_

_The King of Elfland walked into the dining hall where he had left his wine. Since he got thirsty from walking a few halls down, he decided to take a sip of his __wine._

_Not long after, he was in his majestic bed, feeling very ill._

"_I'm afraid he's been poisoned," Dr. Malpractice said to Prince Elf._

"_It can't be!" exclaimed Prince Elf._

"_Did you really think your father's sudden illness was a coincidence, young prince?" asked Dr. Malpractice. _

"_But who?" asked Prince Elf._

"_There are a number of suspects, though each have their own alibis," replied Dr. Malpractice, "The Dwarves have intense motive for poisoning the Elf King, but even a common elf would know the stench of a dwarf if he smelt it. There is also the theory that the Dark Elves have their claws in this, possibly even sending one of their own in disguise to infiltrate our kingdom."_

"_Anything else?" asked Prince Elf._

"_Well, there are also those who are next in line to inherit the throne…" replied Dr. Malpractice._

"_Hold it!" cried Prince Elf, "Are you suggesting I poisoned my own father in an attempt to assassinate him and become the next king? That's absurd! Besides, the Chancellor is also in line for the throne!"_

"_But only if you are unable to take the royal duties," said Dr. Malpractice, "Meaning the most immediate substitute, and most likely assassin, would be you."_

"_This is ridiculous," said Prince Elf, "I don't have to stand here and listen to your false accusations!"_

"_There is a way to prove your innocence, however," said Dr. Malpractice. _

"_How is that?" asked Prince Elf._

"_Find someone to heal him," replied Dr. Malpractice, "Not in the Elf Kingdom, we can't trust anyone these days. Go out into the world and find someone who is knowledgeable in medicines and herbs. See if that person is willing to provide you a cure for your father's illness."_

* * *

"So that's why he went undercover," said Cloud, "He felt that in an environment filled with magic and money, he could find a perfect medicine man for his father."

"So once again, to prove my point," said Black Mage, "He's a con! A deceiver!"

"Doctor," came the Chancellor's voice over the intercom system, "You are needed in my quarters."

"That's my cue," said Dr. Malpractice, taking his leave.

"Who would have thought he had so much weight on his shoulders?" asked Olette.

"The poor guy," said Fighter in pity.

"You actually feel bad for him?" asked Black Mage, "He's a…"

"We _get_ it!" everyone else cried in unison.

"But complaining about it makes me feel good," muttered Black Mage.

* * *

"Are you sure, Chancellor?" asked Dr. Malpractice.

"Most certain, Doctor," replied Chancellor Usurper, "It must be done tonight."

The Chancellor sat in his red leather chair, which really belonged to Prince Elf, and took out official documents in black, Elfish handwriting.

"It is clearly stated in these documents by my superior that we must carry this act out tonight," said Chancellor Usurper.

"You have superiors, Chancellor?" asked Dr. Malpractice.

"Only one," replied Chancellor, "One of the Four Fiends I've heard so much about. However, once I am in control of all of Elfland, I shall have her tried and executed for crimes against humanity…_after_, of course, we corrupt the secret police from the inside."

"Your brilliance continues to fascinate me," said Dr. Malpractice, then silently muttered, "But you could at least give me a raise, you cheap bastard."

"What was that, Doctor?" asked Chancellor Usurper.

"I said so let it be written, so let it be done," replied Dr. Malpractice.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	20. 20: Secrets are No Fun

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Sorry I haven't updated in a while.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and has expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Chancellor Usurper - The Supreme Chancellor of Elfland, who is looking to use nefarious means to rise up to the position of King…**

**Dr. Malpractice – The crooked doctor who has been overseeing the King's condition for the past year, and to a certain extent, helps the Chancellor with his evil scheme.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has now accompanied them to Elfland**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

* * *

It was the 46th night of our story. Our heroes, consisting of the Light Warriors and friends, were all getting ready to turn in for the night aboard the Elf Cruiser. Everyone was in a massive room used as sleeping quarters. Because it was royal property, everyone had a double bed with warm pillows and heated blankets, and yes, the Elf Cruiser was a MASSIVE ship.

"So if this ship is so massive, then why is it taking us so long to get to fuggin' Elfland?" asked Black Mage.

"I doubt a ship of this great length would be able to handle going very fast," replied Pence, "Otherwise, we'd probably break the engine or something."

"How do you know so much about engineering?" asked Hayner.

"I'm taking a class on it back at the academy," replied Pence, "In fact, Red Mage, you're in my class, aren't you?"

"Of course," replied Red Mage, "However, while you concentrate on the hands-on material of the machinery, _I_ create the brilliant blueprints of the massive machines in our existence!"

"I don't see any Red Mage ships anywhere," said Seifer, "Nor have I heard of any."

"I can explain that," said Thief, who had just entered the room.

"Thief?" everyone asked in unison.

"Oh, look, it's the honorable prince who lied his ass off to everyone around him!" moaned Black Mage, "Somehow, I'm the only one not surprised by that!"

"What do you mean you can explain?" asked Seifer.

"When I had Red Mage sign my contract, he gave up all copyrights to his inventions, so now I own them," said Thief, "Or technically, Elfland owns them, since most of his ships secretly go to them."

"I knew something was wrong with that!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"But enough about that," said Thief, "I have something to talk to you all about."

"If it's about the whole prince thing, everyone already knows, y'know?" said Raijin.

"Disgraceful," said Fujin.

"Not that," said Thief, "I'm talking about what we need to do to live through the night."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Seifer.

"Look, I haven't said anything," said Thief, "but I learned a while back that Chancellor Usurper is trying to take the throne of Elfland for himself, and had Dr. Malpractice poison my father."

"How'd you figure that out?" asked Olette.

"I've done a little eavesdropping from the shadows," replied Thief, "It's one of the perks of being a thief."

"That and lying to others," said Black Mage, "and being a fuggin' flamin' elf…heh heh, _fuggin' flamin' elf_. Damn, I'm too good!"

"Anyway!" exclaimed Thief, while Black Mage took time to write his most recent joke into his notepad, "If we're all gonna get to Elfland alive in one piece, we need to devise a plan to stop the chancellor from killing us in our sleep."

"And that's where I come in!" cried Red Mage.

"Yes," replied Thief, "With your…brilliant plans, yeah."

"Then hop to it, Talky McNoplan!" exclaimed Black Mage.

"Hey, didn't _I_ come up with that one?" asked Fighter.

"One could argue that, yes," replied Black Mage, "Someone could also use AMNESIA DUST!"

The "amnesia dust" got into Fighter's eyes and blinded him, and considering how gullible Fighter was, he actually forgot what was going on.

"Heh, I knew it would be worth stealing that joke from him," said Black Mage.

* * *

In the dead of night, not too far from Elfland, the Elf Cruiser was quiet as a church mouse, for the Law Ninja Clan of Elfland were stealthy and sneaky, so as not to be detected. The Law Ninjas were supposed to be dedicated solely to protecting the Royal Family, but after Chancellor Usurper began his conquest, a few of them went rogue and served the Chancellor.

The beds in the resting quarters were clearly occupied. The Law Ninjas assumed that the sleeping bodies of their "guests" were the occupants, and as a result, they began stabbing the "bodies". Not a sound could be heard unless one was in the room where this had been occurring. As quickly as the Law Ninja slipped in, they crept back out, satisfied with the job they had done.

The real party, however, had been hiding in the lowest floor of the Elf Cruiser. No one could really see what was around them, as it was practically pitch dark, and only Thief could tell where he was going.

"Can we stop hiding now?" asked Zell.

"Almost," replied Thief, "We have to be sure the Law Ninja are off our tracks."

"I thought the Law Ninja were supposed to be your bodyguards," commented Red Mage.

"Most of them are," replied Thief, "Some of them, however, switched sides after Chancellor Usurper began taking his own actions. He must have used some of the Royal Family's fortune to bribe them over to his side."

"Ow!" cried Black Mage, "Dammit, Thief, can I just cast a Light Spell so we can all see where the hell we're going?"

"Too risky," replied Thief, "Chancellor Usurper may have been lying about his true identity, so if he is who I think he is, he'll know we're here simply by using magic."

"Who do you think he is?" asked Cloud.

"Er, well," said Thief, "Let's just say he's someone with a very high rank among the Dark Elves."

"What's that?" asked Olette.

"They're a completely corrupted breed of elves," said Thief, "Naturally, we the Elves of Light are born pure and…"

"Not that!" cried Olette, "That!"

She pointed toward a pair of glowing red eyes shimmering in the darkness. They all heard venomous hissing from whatever was there, and heard slithering across the floor.

"He didn't…" gasped Thief.

"He? What didn't he do?" asked Seifer.

"That bastard! Damn you Chancellor Usurper!" cursed Thief.

"What's going on?" asked Pence.

"I know what that thing is," said Thief, "And we're screwed if we don't find a way to beat this thing."

"You're screwed with or without beating it," came a voice from the darkness, not too far from the creature.

Out came Chancellor Usurper, with his hands behind his back, alongside Dr. Malpractice. Next to them came the chilling sight of an enormous black snake with bloodshot red eyes and dark, unwelcoming scales. The beast's tongue was longer than a normal snake, and was much sharper as well.

"I didn't think you'd sink this low, Chancellor," said Thief.

"Alas, I have," replied the Chancellor, "But your insults are nothing more than sticks and stones."

"I didn't think it was possible, because you're supposed to be dead," said Thief, "But there can be no other possibility…you're not Chancellor Usurper. There never was a Chancellor Usurper!"

"What does that mean?" asked Dr. Malpractice.

"He's the King of the Dark Elves..." said Thief, "…Astos!"

"You are?" asked a surprised Dr. Malpractice.

"Of course, Doctor," replied Astos, "How else did you think I was able to corrupt this beast and use it for my own purposes?"

"So," said Fighter, "Chancellor Usurper changed his name to Astos. Then that must mean…he is somehow tied to the conspiracy with Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb!"

"WHAT?" cried Black Mage, "Fighter, just shut up! That has nothing to do with the situation at hand!"

"Think about it," said Fighter, "So many people changing their names, hiding their true identities…they don't want to be exposed as taking part in…"

"JUST SHUT UP!" cried Black Mage, failing to stab him through the armor.

Up in the vents, White Mage and Black Belt were crawling through them to keep track of the Light Warriors.

"Black Belt, could you kindly remove your butt from my face?" asked White Mage.

"Well sorry," said a sarcastic Black Belt, "but YOU'RE the one who told me to go in first! Those were your own words!"

"At least keep your distance," said White Mage.

"So, I don't mean to pry," said Black Belt, "But I really think we should just step in and do it for them. They don't stand a chance against those guys on their own."

"I wish that were possible," replied White Mage, "But I'm afraid the Light Warriors must do their own work sometimes, without a little nudge from us."

"What is so shocking about this giant snake?" asked Olette.

"Because it's a giant snake, y'know?" said Raijin, completely missing Olette's point.

"Mincemeat," said Fujin, prepared for a battle.

"Mind explaining why you would stoop down this low, even for a Dark Elf?" asked Thief.

"Gladly," replied Astos, "Sit tight and I'll tell you why."

"What is it, anyway?" asked Seifer.

"That is the incarnation of one of Elfland's most revered guardian spirits…that is Gallagahn!" exclaimed Thief in anger.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	21. 21: Crash Landing

**After a long break, Chapter 21 is now up for your enjoyment.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is actually Prince Elf of Elfland**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game, and accompany Thief and co. to Elfland (reluctantly)**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and has expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Tifa- A free-spirited young woman who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.**

**Cloud – A dark young man who seems to be in search of someone.**

**Tidus – A young man who accompanies Tifa and Cloud, both of whom were dragged to Elfland by Prince Elf (aka Thief)**

**Astos – Posed as the Supreme Chancellor of Elfland, but is actually the King of the Dark Elves, who is looking to take over Elfland.**

**Dr. Malpractice – The crooked doctor who has been overseeing the King's condition for the past year, and to a certain extent, helps the Chancellor (Astos) with his evil scheme.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has now accompanied them to Elfland**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

**Gallagahn – A holy spirit of the Elves, who has recently been corrupted by the dark powers of Astos. **

* * *

"And what exactly does this Gallagahn have to do with all of this?" asked Seifer.

"As simple as it sounds," replied Thief, "This is sacrilegious!"

"All in the name of destroying Elfland and taking it for myself," said Astos.

"Well, at least we don't have to hold back on any of you!" exclaimed Black Mage, "One Hadoken coming right up!"

"No!" cried Red Mage and Thief, tackling Black Mage.

"Don't you want this taken care of quickly and destructively?" asked Black Mage.

"You'll bring us and the whole ship down with them!" cried Thief.

Gallagahn hissed when Fighter drew his sword and attacked the giant snake. Fighter drew it back towards the dark end of the room.

"For someone with a very small brain," said Seifer, "He's got more spine than the other Light Warriors."

"That's it!" shouted Black Mage, "I can take insults for the way my spell components smell, and a little of why my face is always covered…but _no one_ is gonna get away with saying I have less spine than Fighter! One Hadoken coming up, bitches!"

"This can't end well," moaned White Mage from the vents above.

"Perhaps we should have intervened while we had the chance?" asked Black Belt.

"Wouldn't have helped," replied White Mage, "I'm sure Black Mage would have used the Hadoken anyway."

"Hadoken!" cried Black Mage.

Gallagahn had been hit by the Hadoken, crashing into the wall, but was still able to move. It didn't stop Gallagahn from hissing angrily…and it certainly didn't stop the Elf Cruiser from falling towards the ground. The good news was that they were in Elfland territory. The bad news was that based on the rate they were falling (something Red Mage would love to ramble on and on about), they would land right in the Forest of Trees…which meant if they landed in the wrong part, the whole forest could be lit aflame.

"Now look what you've done," said Thief, "If any part of my national property is damaged because of this, not even your Death Gods or whatever will be able to protect you from my Law Ninja."

"Oh I hardly think so," said Astos mockingly, "Not only have some of your Ninja gone rogue to serve me, but it will soon be _my_ national property. Mine to do whatever I wish with it! And this will only scratch 'Burn down Forest of Trees' off my 'To Do List'."

"Oh, you bastard!" cried Thief.

"Well, I'm done with this shit," said Dr. Malpractice.

"And where do you think you're going, Doctor?" asked Astos.

"I'm not about to join you guys and get killed," replied Dr. Malpractice, "I'm outta here!"

"If you jump out, you're gonna die anyway," said Thief.

"Not with this!" exclaimed Dr. Malpractice, revealing a parachute under his cloak, "So long, losers!"

As Doctor Malpractice jumped out, both Thief and Astos took time to watch him descend into the Forest of Trees.

"I'll have to remember to start a search for him," said Thief.

"I think not," said Astos, "That will be my job."

"Earth to Elves!" cried Hayner, "How are we gonna stop this thing from crashing?"

"We can't!" cried Thief, "We'll be lucky if we survive!"

Gallagahn was about to poison Thief from behind with his venom before the Elf Cruiser made contact with the ground and began to slide through the Forest of Trees. Trees began to fall down, becoming nothing more than branches and dust.

"We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" cried Fighter.

He continued to ramble like this while Black Mage contemplated murder…again. However, much to the surprise of everyone, the Elf Cruiser began to slow down, and eventually, came to a complete stop, and conveniently, the Royal Guards from the palace were waiting for them right there.

"I can't believe it," said Thief, brushing rubble off his clothes, "We're alive!"

"Not for long, you're not!" cried Astos, who had just about enough interruptions, "Gallagahn! Kill the Prince!"

Gallagahn destroyed the wall of the already wrecked Elf Cruiser, prepared to take Thief out, before bright lights came from the other side. The Royal Guards were smart enough to bring the Court Wizards along with them, who knew more than enough magic to seal evil spirits away…including the corrupted Gallagahn.

"Back to your realm, beast!" cried the Master Court Wizard, who was named Rune. He wore the regular green robe and red, long coat like the others, but had a bigger, whiter beard than the rest.

Gallagahn began to hiss at the wizards, but did not have the time to move, for he had turned into stone, and began to shrink down to the size of a pebble. Gallagahn was back in his rightful place. The Royal Guards stormed in the Elf Cruiser to arrest Astos.

"Not today, my friends," said Astos, "I'm going back for help."

He disappeared simply by snapping his fingers, leaving the Royal Guards perplexed as to where he went. Thief and the others left the Elf Cruiser and approached Rune as he and the other Court Wizards chanted the ancient spell to purify their beloved Gallagahn. As they finished it, the small stone statue of Gallagahn faded, and all was right with the giant snake again.

"Gallagahn is back to where he belongs, and is once again the beloved spirit worshipped by the Elves," said Rune.

Thief and the others stood by Rune as the other Court Wizards dispersed, going about their own ways.

"Shortly before Astos left Elfland, he destroyed the Gallagahn statue in the Royal Garden," Rune explained, "The spirit of Gallagahn himself was in that statue, but before he could get away, Astos trapped it inside a powerful seal, and soon, it lived only to serve Astos. Thankfully, it only lasted a short time before you all arrived."

"I guess its fortunate you and other Court Wizards were there with the Royal Guard, or it might have been worse," said Thief.

"And who are your friends?' asked Rune.

"We're not his friends," said Black Mage.

"Of course we are!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Wait," said Red Mage, "I thought all of you Elves were supposed to look younger than you are."

"That's true," replied Rune, "I'm roughly about 20 centuries old."

"What the hell?" cried everyone else except Thief.

"20 centuries?" asked Seifer in shock.

"That's freaking old, y'know?" exclaimed Raijin.

Vivi simply scratched his head.

"Old geezer," said Fujin.

"Anyway," said Rune, who did not like to be poked fun at for his age, "What happened while we were sealing Gallagahn?"

"Well," replied Thief, "Dr. Malpractice got away, though I suspect he hasn't gone too far, and Astos disappeared before he could be arrested. I can have the Royal Guards set up a search all around for the doctor."

"The Court Wizards and I will try to find the location of Astos," said Rune.

"Perhaps you could search for the Fire Orb as well?" asked Red Mage.

"Why?" asked Black Mage, "We're only here because Thief dragged us here. We were never told to find the Fire Orb, and even then, I still wouldn't do it."

"I wish he'd just shut up for once," groaned Tifa.

"We can do that, too," said Rune, "Oh and by the way, Prince Elf, your father wanted to see you in his chambers."

"I will report to him immediately," replied Thief, leaving the others.

"Oh, and you all can feel free to look around a bit," said Rune, "Just don't get in too much trouble."

"Why does he look at me when he says that?" asked Tidus, as Rune walked away.

"I think he means Black Mage," replies Cloud, "He definitely means Black Mage."

"Shut up!" cried Black Mage.

* * *

Far off in a volcano outside of Elfland, the loud booming could be heard for miles around. Deep on the inside, the lava falls were flowing faster and more intensely than before. The master of this volcano was furious. The evil woman, who had six arms and the lower body of a snake, was angry with Astos, who had taken refuge in her abode.

"What do you mean you failed?" asked the woman, "You said you could take Elfland down in no time!"

"That was before the Prince discovered my identity and led his little friends against me," said Astos, who refused to bow to her, "And then the doctor bails on me and Gallagahn was purified of the seal I put on him! So now I need to gather my strength again for another time."

"And you think you can do that here?" asked the woman.

"Well yes, O Fiend of the Flame," replied Astos, "Was that not our agreement, Kary? That in exchange for the Fire Orb, I could use this as a front for whatever purposes I wish?"

Kary took time to think about this, then growled as she reluctantly gave in. "Fine," she said, "But stay out of my way while I make my own plans."

* * *

**To be continued**

**Please review :)**


	22. 22: Gurgu or Bust!

**The Fire Orb arc is about to enter it's second half at the end of this chapter, so stay tuned and enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas, the White Mage and Black Belt Replicas, and Rune)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and has expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Tifa- A free-spirited young woman who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.**

**Cloud – A dark young man who seems to be in search of someone.**

**Tidus – A young man who accompanies Tifa and Cloud, both of whom were dragged to Elfland by Prince Elf (aka Thief)**

**Kary- Fiend of Fire with six arms and a snake's lower body. She is conspiring with Astos in the depths of Mt. Gurgu**

**Astos – Posed as the Supreme Chancellor of Elfland, but is actually the King of the Dark Elves, who is looking to take over Elfland.**

**Dr. Malpractice – The crooked doctor who has been overseeing the King's condition for the past year, and to a certain extent, helps the Chancellor (Astos) with his evil scheme.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has now accompanied them to Elfland**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

**Rune – The Master Court Wizard and a close friend of the King of Elfland. **

* * *

Thief had never been more anxious in his life. A long time had passed since he left Elfland for 8 Bit Academy. He didn't even nearly have enough money collected for a possible antidote. Yet, his father still wanted to see him. But what for? He would soon find out once he opened the door to his father's Royal Bedroom and went past the curtains to his bedside.

"Welcome home, my son," said the King of Elfland, "How was your journey?"

"Long, but far from boring," replied Thief, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"That's just like you, my son," said the King of Elfland, "Always direct and to the point. Well, I know of someone who can cook up an antidote for my illness, and I have already spoken to her through one of her…sources, as she calls them."

"And?" asked Thief.

"Matoya the Witch has exactly the antidote formula that will heal me instantly," replied the King of Elfland, "I'm sure you have more than enough money from your travels to pay her, but she wants something a little more valuable to her."

"What's that?" asked Thief.

"The Fire Orb," replied the King of Elfland.

"Someone in my crew was just talking about that earlier," mentioned Thief, "But where _is_ the Fire Orb?"

"I suspect it is at Mt. Gurgu, the volcano just outside of Elfland," replied the King, "So tomorrow, I need you and the Light Warriors to go there and retrieve it for her so that she may heal me."

"You know about the Light Warriors?" asked Thief.

"I know more about them than you think," replied the King, "And I also know that it was no coincidence you were appointed to be one of them. Now, I will try and convince Matoya to come to the castle for when you return with the Fire Orb. For now, you just retrieve it."

"I will, Father," said Thief, taking a bow before his father and exiting the room.

* * *

**Day 47**

It was bright and sunny the next morning, and everyone with Thief's crew had gone off to do their own thing. Thief had a quick meeting with Rune and the Court Wizards before he went to talk to the Light Warriors.

"We have sensed the presence of the Fiend of Fire," said Rune, "Kary is currently occupying the caverns of the volcano, Mt. Gurgu. We also believe that Astos is there with her, and a strong force of energy surrounding them."

"Astos?" asked Thief, "He's working with one of the Fiends?"

"It would seem so," replied Rune, "Against such powerful opponents, numbers alone will not take them down. The Court Wizards and I will prepare you with a powerful spell that is only to be released in the direst situation."

Thief witnesses the Court Wizards all casting Blizzaga spells and all of them were going into a clear pond that they were surrounding. When the Blizzaga spells touched the water, Thief was simply astonished by the incredible power being emitted from the pond. The room felt as if it were 180 degrees _below_ Celsius. It would almost be enough for someone to freeze to death, but fortunately, Rune contained the entire spell by opening a small bottle and having it enter the empty bottle. He closed the bottle containing the powerful spell and gave it to Thief.

"This is a Blizzaga Level 100 spell," Rune explained to Thief, "One of the most powerful spells known to the world. Only you can release the seal on this bottle and cast the spell, so no matter what, nothing can happen to you, else this spell be entirely useless."

"What if someone else tries to pull the cap?" asked Thief.

"You may soon see that it will not work for them," replied Rune, "and watch this."

Rune used all of his strength to throw the bottle into the ground. Thief jumped back for a moment, until he saw that the bottle had not broken. There wasn't even the smallest crack on it.

"Keep it on you at all times until you have Astos and Kary where you want them," said Rune, "As well as whatever other surprises they may throw at you."

* * *

Everyone had been given an Elven Medal of Truce by Rune earlier, allowing them to walk freely around Elfland. Hayner led Pence and Olette throughout the Elven Market for some snacks, though nothing would compare with Sea Salt Ice Cream. The Disciplinary Committee looked through the weapons shops and took a tour of the Royal Academy of Archery, Elfland campus. Tifa and Tidus were taking a boat cruise of one of Elfland's most prized lakes. In fact, Cloud was the only non-Light Warrior present in one of the guest rooms where Thief was talking to the other Light Warriors. Well, of course, White Mage and Black Belt would be going with them eventually, but were not needed at the meeting.

"So now we actually do need the Fire Orb?" asked Red Mage.

"It would only be a matter of time before Sarda would tell us to get it anyway," replied Thief, "But since I need it in order to find a cure for my father, we might as well get it now while we're at Mt. Gurgu."

"And why is Cloud going with us and not the others you dragged along?" asked Black Mage.

Cloud was sitting back on the wall nearby, but he didn't even look at Black Mage when he gave his answer.

"I have reason to believe someone I'm looking for is at Mt. Gurgu," replied Cloud, "I need to see it for myself."

"He's just one more extra person," said Thief, "He'll probably be good for fighting on the field anyway."

"What about that stupid little Disciplinary Committee?" asked Black Mage.

"Well, because they have little to no motive to go to Mt. Gurgu in the first place," replied Thief, "Look, the fewer who go, the fewer we put at risk when I use this."

Thief held out the bottle containing the Blizzaga Level 100 spell, which even caught Cloud's attention.

"What does that do?" asked Fighter.

"I'm not totally sure, but we _don't_ want to be in its path when I cast it," replied Thief.

"So when do we leave for this quest?" asked Red Mage.

"Early tomorrow morning," replied Thief, "It has to be before the others wake up."

"Not that I give a damn about saving anyone just because they are human beings, though elves don't count," said Black Mage, "But if it helps, Vivi and I have been learning sleeping spells from Dr. Odine back at the Academy. It's a form of Green Magic he discovered a while back."

"Didn't he rip that off of something Edea Kramer thought of?" asked Red Mage.

"Nah, that Kramer bitch always harasses Odine because of their…relations _outside_ of school," replied Black Mage.

"Now _that's_ a scary thought," admitted Thief.

"Nonetheless, it should provide useful for us if we really want to sneak out without anyone knowing," said Black Mage.

"Well then, we're counting on you, Black Mage," said Thief, "Before we leave, work your magic so we can sneak out undetected."

* * *

**Day 48**

Early that morning, before there was even the smallest shine of the sun, the Light Warriors, plus Black Belt, White Mage, and Cloud all had woken up minutes earlier and got themselves prepared. They would have made too much noise leaving the room with all their stuff, so they were counting on Black Mage to cast the Sleeping Spell.

"So how exactly will _we_ not be affected by the spell?" asked Black Belt, "I mean, if we're in the vicinity of the room when you cast it, how will we avoid falling under its effects?"

"I'll field this one," replied White Mage, letting Black Mage concentrate, "The Sleeping Spell casts particles of dust that shuts off the body in whatever direction it is cast in. So, as long as we all stay behind Black Mage when he casts it, we'll be safe."

Black Mage had already finished casting the spell by the time White Mage was done with her explanation.

"How do we know it worked?" asked Red Mage.

"I like to test it like this," replied Black Mage.

He walked over to where Seifer was sleeping and began repeatedly kicking him in the face. He didn't like Seifer very much, and was not above using him to test the effects of the spell. Seifer didn't flinch once when Black Mage was kicking him.

"There," said Black Mage, "If he wouldn't even wake up to that, who's to say these other guys won't?"

"I guess we're good to go then," said Thief.

"Whee! Another adventure!" exclaimed Fighter.

"More experience! More questing!" exclaimed Red Mage.

As they were all about to leave, a small, quiet voice stopped them in their tracks. Someone not affected by the Sleeping Spell.

"Where are you guys going?" asked Vivi.

They all turned to see Vivi looking at them with sad, yellow eyes.

"Black Mage?" asked Thief.

"Yeah, I guess I forgot that people who know how to cast Sleeping Spells, even in its weakest form, are automatically immune to it," replied Black Mage.

"Great," groaned Thief, "So what do we do about Vivi?"

"Please," said Vivi, "Let me come with you to Mt. Gurgu!"

They were all surprised, not just because the little guy wanted to go with them, but because he knew where it was they were going.

"I like these guys on the Disciplinary Committee," said Vivi, "But I'm never the one doing all the heroic stuff! I want to make a name for myself by doing something on my own! Please take me with you guys!"

"The more the merrier," replied a cheerful White Mage, "Anyone your size willing to brave dangers is more than worthy to be called a hero."

"Just stay out of the way when I cast this," said Thief, showing him the bottle containing the Blizzard Level 100 spell.

"Let's get going, then," said Black Mage.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Please review**

**~The Goon~**


	23. 23: Entering Mt Gurgu

**Hey guys, it's me, The Goon. I've finally been able to update this story, so enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and has expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Tifa- A free-spirited young woman who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.**

**Cloud – A dark young man who seems to be in search of someone.**

**Tidus – A young man who accompanies Tifa and Cloud, both of whom were dragged to Elfland by Prince Elf (aka Thief)**

**Kary- Fiend of Fire with six arms and a snake's lower body. She is conspiring with Astos in the depths of Mt. Gurgu.**

**Astos – Posed as the Supreme Chancellor of Elfland, but is actually the King of the Dark Elves, who is looking to take over Elfland.**

**Dr. Malpractice – The crooked doctor who has been overseeing the King's condition for the past year, and to a certain extent, helps the Chancellor (Astos) with his evil scheme.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has now accompanied them to Elfland**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

**Rune – The Master Court Wizard and a close friend of the King of Elfland. **

* * *

The Light Warriors, White Mage, Black Belt, Cloud and Vivi were approaching Mt. Gurgu at this point. They had almost had enough with the random encounters.

"Did you really have to take that wolf's head with you, RM?" asked Thief.

"Hey, this head boosts my Charisma stats, and I need as much of that as I can get," replied Red Mage.

"Damn right you could," retorted Black Mage, pulling out his notepad and writing his latest joke down, "Heh heh, _damn__right__you__could_, this is too much!"

"I'd like to know what _your_ Charisma score is, wise guy," Red Mage said to Black Mage.

"There is no scale for my 'Charisma score'," replied Black Mage, "Because it's freaking impossible to measure without having your mind blown!"

"I was going to say because it's nonexistent," said Thief, which Red Mage cracked up at.

"Excuse me?" asked Black Mage, "Then how do you explain how I get on so well with White Mage, or how I can get inside her robes?"

"Not even in your dreams, you miserable little man," said White Mage, who was listening nearby.

Black Mage had been imagining White Mage in nothing but a black thong and shells over her breasts at the time she said that, and even his dreams were ruined by this.

"Dammit, even in my dreams, she won't go for it," muttered Black Mage.

Since Cloud was in the front of the group, he was the first one to stop shortly, and everyone else soon stopped as well. He had stopped in front of a small chasm filled with rocks and small rivers of lava. It was small, but too hot and dangerous to cross.

"Any ideas, guys?" asked Cloud.

"Maybe an Ice spell of some sort would help?" asked Red Mage.

"Not this," replied Thief, holding onto the bottle containing the Blizzard Level 100 spell, "We need this for when we face Kary."

"Well then what _do_ we do?" asked Red Mage.

"Wouldn't _you_ know?" asked Black Mage as a retort, "You know, since you're so _brilliant_ and have all the _best_ plans."

"True," replied Red Mage, "But even my genius is stumped occasionally."

"And by occasionally, you mean 24/7! Zing!" exclaimed Black Mage, pulling out his notepad _again_, "Heh heh, 24/7 joke was a killer!"

"You know, it's not as funny as you would think," Fighter told him.

"Oh hush, yes it is!" retorted Black Mage.

"Seriously, what is taking you guys so long?" asked Black Belt, who was already across, to everyone else's amazement.

"What the? How did he get over there?" asked Black Mage.

"I jumped over that bridge!" replied Black Belt, pointing over to a rock bridge that looked quite unstable.

"Yeah, right," replied Black Mage, "_Jumped_ over it. Even someone of your skills couldn't jump. I bet you just walked right across it. See, I'm about to do it just as easily!"

Black Mage took a step on the bridge when it started to rumble, and one of the rocks on the side fell off.

"Okay, okay, I believe you now!" exclaimed Black Mage, "You jumped over it. But how do the _rest_ of us get across?"

"Oh, I brought a rope along so you can all walk across!" exclaimed Black Belt.

"Walk across a rope? We're not all trained to be fruity and balanced," said Black Mage.

"Nonetheless, it's the best chance we've got," replied Thief, "Toss it over, Black Belt!"

"With gusto!" exclaimed Black Belt, throwing the rope across…right into the lava river they were trying to cross.

"Figures you wouldn't even make it long enough," muttered Black Mage.

"Or maybe we could just use that giant metal armor to get across," said Vivi, pointing to the side where they failed to notice armor remnants, "I can use Gravita to keep it afloat while you cross."

"Excellent idea, Vivi," said White Mage.

Black Mage instantly burned with jealousy. Black Mage and Vivi were practically the same class, and yet she liked Vivi more than him.

"What's he got that I ain't?" Black Belt asked himself.

"What _doesn__'__t_ he have that you ain't?" asked Fighter in reply.

"STAB TIME!" shouted Black Mage, pulling out his daggers.

* * *

Some time later, Vivi was the last to cross the bridge before he deactivated his Gravita spell. Black Mage was still limping from the hammer beatings he got from White Mage, and as usual, Fighter was healed of any damage Black Mage gave him.

"Why can't I ever get what I want?" whined Black Mage.

"Because nearly everything you want directly results in the misery of others," replied White Mage.

"I know," replied Black Mage, "I _thrive_ on the misery of others. That's why I'm complaining."

Fighter and Black Belt combined their strength to move the big boulder out of the way and opened the tunnel that would lead them inside Mt. Gurgu. The inside was even hotter than the outside, and the temperature kept rising as they got deeper into the volcano.

"Maybe we should have brought some water," said Fighter, whose voice was drying out due to the heat, "At least we wouldn't be so thirsty."

"Well," said Vivi, "If we can cast Ice spells, the heat should melt it and we would have water!"

"Excellent idea, Vivi!" exclaimed White Mage, "You're a pretty smart guy!"

Again, Black Mage was burning with jealousy, but had no time to take it out on Fighter or Red Mage, because a loud roar coming from the end of the tunnel had everyone running. When they reached the end, they were in a giant cavern with a lake of lava standing between them and the other side…also a giant red dragon rising out of the lava.

"Uh, I hate to get in your way, but do you mind explaining what you're doing in my cave?" asked the dragon.

"Uh…sword shopping?" asked Fighter.

"Look, you," said Black Mage, "We're kind of on an important mission right now, so you had just better get out of the way before I smite you with a good old-fashioned Hadoken!"

"Oh, I'm not trying to stop you," said the dragon, whose voice was friendlier than his appearance, "It's just that there's no safe passage across this lake."

"Perhaps you could take us across? Please?" asked White Mage.

"That would be a problem," replied the dragon, "See, my blood is made out of lava, and it would kill you if you touch me. Unless…"

"Unless what?" asked White Mage.

"Unless I made armor for you guys using scales from by body," replied the dragon, "Then it would be safe for you to ride on me, and you would also have a higher tolerance for the intense heat."

"That's brilliant!" exclaimed Red Mage, "We'll be there in no time!"

"Well, it takes time to make the armor, so you would have to wait a while," said the dragon, who was already pulling scales off himself to make the armor.

"Heh, so much for that one, Red Mage," said Black Mage.

"The important thing is that we will have a safe way to cross this river and retrieve the Fire Orb," said White Mage.

"Now it's a matter of how we will kill time while we wait to get across," said Black Mage, "Any suggestions? Hmm…a quick and intense way to pass the time is with…"

"If you even _suggest_ anything sexual, you will find yourself picking all your teeth off the ground," said White Mage, pulling out her hammer.

Moments later, Fighter and Thief were playing checkers while everyone else was discussing their own interests, which mostly resulted in Black Mage pooh-poohing them and divulging into his own self.

"I've thought of every move before you even made them," said Fighter.

"I'm still winning," added Thief in a serious tone.

"That's exactly what I want you to think, but I will emerge victorious this day!"

"You only have one piece left."

"Which is the ultimate key to my victory after a long series of complex strategies!"

"You've only played three turns."

"All part of the plan."

Thief moved his black piece over Fighter's one remaining red piece. "There," he said, "I win."

"Ha!" exclaimed Fighter, "Little did you realize that I painted all the red pieces black and the black pieces red! You just eliminated your last piece!"

"You mean _after_ I had done the same, therefore reversing the pieces back to their original colors?" asked Thief.

"Red's on the what now?" asked Fighter.

"Okay," said the dragon, "I've made all the armor you'll need."

"Excelsior!" exclaimed Red Mage, "Now to get that Fire Orb!"

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	24. 24: The One I've Searched For

**At last Chapter 24 is now up, and the third story arc is almost at its end. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and has expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Tifa- A free-spirited young woman who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.**

**Cloud – A dark young man who seems to be in search of someone.**

**Tidus – A young man who accompanies Tifa and Cloud, both of whom were dragged to Elfland by Prince Elf (aka Thief)**

**Kary- Fiend of Fire with six arms and a snake's lower body. She is conspiring with Astos in the depths of Mt. Gurgu.**

**Astos – Posed as the Supreme Chancellor of Elfland, but is actually the King of the Dark Elves, who is looking to take over Elfland.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has now accompanied them to Elfland**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

**Rune – The Master Court Wizard and a close friend of the King of Elfland. **

* * *

Awaiting the Light Warriors and co. on the other side was the intrepid duo of Kary and Astos, and although they had separate overall goals, they both faced the same obstacle.

"Those fools will never cross my nigh impossible lake of lava!" exclaimed Kary.

"They're the Light Warriors," noted Astos, "Somehow, fate tends to work in their favor."

"Are you saying the Light Warriors actually stand a chance against us?" asked Kary.

"Not implying any sort of thing," replied Astos, "All I was saying is that they'll find a way across the lake."

"What makes you so sure?" asked Kary.

"Because they're crossing it right now," replied Astos.

"What?" cried Kary, moving over towards Astos to see with her own eyes what Astos had seen.

"They're being taken across by that meddlesome dragon," said Astos, pointing towards the large red dragon with the Light Warriors and co. on its back. The snakes on Kary's head hissed angrily at the sight of them.

"Fine!" shouted Kary, "Let them come! But they have sealed their dooms this day!"

The dragon flew just past Kary and Astos, landing right on the other side of the large lava cavern, where the Light Warriors and co. stepped off.

"Hope you've got insurance," Red Mage announced to the victims, "Because it's thwacky time!"

"Thwacky time?" asked Black Mage, "I hope you didn't put too much effort into that one."

"You have done well to make it this far, Light Warriors," said Kary, drawing out several swords, "But you have come here only to die!"

Cloud had already backed away from the group, shutting his eyes and looking around for something. He felt his presence. HE was there. Before anyone could say anything, he speedily ran off in the other direction, following his instincts.

"We need a distraction so that I can open this bottle," said Thief.

"I know just the thing," said White Mage, pointing at Kary and Astos, "Black Belt! Stop them using your violence!"

"With gusto!" exclaimed Black Belt, getting out his nunchucks.

"Stupid mortal fools," said Kary, pulling multiple swords out with all her arms.

Unfortunately, Astos could read Thief's mind like a book. He knew the type of bottle he held was holding a powerful spell, and that it was certainly capable to powerful damage. In order to halt the process, Astos placed Thief inside a dark bubble and started to bring him closer to him.

"So much for that idea," said Thief.

"I say we run," said Black Mage, "These two look like they have things under control!"

"Agreed!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"Wall of Fire!" cried Kary, hearing them conspiring while fighting Black Belt.

Soon enough, they were all surrounded by flames. No way in, no way out.

"Aw, nuts," said Red Mage.

"What do we do now?" wondered Vivi.

* * *

Since Cloud snuck out earlier, he had not been caught inside the wall of flames. He was following his senses towards a darker force that seemed to be independent of the Light Warriors' current target. Soon enough, he entered a cavern that looked more like a throne room from ancient ruins, complete with pillars that were cracked and decaying stone floors. He saw the man he was looking for. The man with long white hair and an even longer sword.

The One-Winged Angel, Sephiroth.

"Sephiroth!" shouted Cloud, drawing his sword.

Sephiroth turned around to face Cloud. He looked at Cloud with the devil eyes he always had. He too readied his sword for combat.

"I understand you've been looking for me," said Sephiroth, pointing the sharp edge of his blade at Cloud.

"Yes I have," said Cloud, without change in emotion, "I've been looking to take back what's mine."

Sephiroth shook his head in what seemed to be disappointment.

"Five years you've searched and failed," said Sephiroth, "You're simply not one who lets go of the past."

"Of course not," said Cloud, "Not when you kill one of my closest friends and try to get away with it!"

Cloud was now getting angrier, but Sephiroth seemed amused. But why?

"You really believe I killed her?" asked Sephiroth.

"I saw you drive your blade into her!" exclaimed Sephiroth.

"I stabbed her," said Sephiroth, "but I did not kill her. If you were more in touch with magic, you would know what I actually did."

Now Cloud was confused. He saw Sephiroth stab his friend right through her heart. He even saw her fade away as he did. _Fade away_…

"You didn't…" said Cloud.

"So now you're starting to get the hint?" asked Sephiroth rhetorically, "I never killed Aerith. She's not even dead."

A drop of sweat went down Cloud's face as the horrifying truth was being revealed to him, and even more would come when he saw what became of Aerith.

"She's right here," said Sephiroth.

A second wing began to grow on Sephiroth, only this one was not the dark shade of purple like his original one. This one was glowing white, as if he were a pure angel.

"Light and darkness," said Sephiroth, "Thanks to Aerith, I've been able to harness the power of both. But you have only relied on the power of darkness to search for me. You've lost the light, Cloud. Without that light, you stand no chance against me."

There was suddenly a face being revealed on the wing. It wasn't very clear, and it was not full flesh, but it was definitely the girl Cloud had thought was dead the past five years.

"Help me, Cloud!" she cried.

"Aerith…"

* * *

"I dunno, White Mage, he seems to be doing fine on his own," said Black Mage to White Mage.

"Well Black Belt can't take her on alone," said White Mage.

"Just use that Blizzaga Level 100 spell thing!" exclaimed Fighter.

"Yeah, see, only Thief can do that," said Red Mage.

"Well then, let's get Thief to open it!" exclaimed Fighter.

"The terminally tragic part about that statement is that Thief is currently being held in a giant bubble by Astos," said Red Mage.

"Well then…one of us could _pretend_ to be Thief and open it!" exclaimed Fighter.

"It wouldn't work like that," said Red Mage.

"The bottle doesn't know the difference, does it?" asked Fighter.

"If it makes it easier for you, Red Mage," said Black Belt, pulling out his cold steel knife, "I could just put Fighter out of commission through stabbity means. It always helps _me_ cope with reality."

Black Belt was exhausted. If he didn't use the one final move he had, they were all done for.

"You have come to me only to die, mortal," said Kary, taunting him.

"TORNADO KENSHIDO!" shouted Black Belt.

As the name implied, Black Belt began to spin around like a tornado, going over Kary and behind her. Unfortunately, she wasn't too slow. She immediately slid away from Black Belt while extending her blades right through Black Belt. The most infamous Wu Xia warrior had been struck down.

"Black Belt!" cried White Mage.

"Damn…she's tough…" said Black Belt, lying on his back.

* * *

"Give her back, Sephiroth!" shouted Cloud, charging towards Sephiroth.

Cloud had been surrounded by a dark aura while charging, which may have worked against the old Sephiroth. The new one had a second wing that he could use on command, and that same wing began to glow even brighter. It covered Sephiroth so that not even Cloud's sword could cut through it. To his own surprise, not only did the white wing block his attack, but he was also thrown back into one of the cracked pillars with a swift blow from Sephiroth's blade.

"I told you, darkness alone will not defeat me," said Sephiroth, "And since you'll _never_ find the light, you'll _never_ defeat me."

Sephiroth opened up a dark vortex next to him. Cloud wasn't about to let him get away that easy. But as he charged towards him, Sephiroth held up his hand, and out from his palms came a huge energy bolt that knocked Cloud back onto his back, as Sephiroth stepped in the vortex and escaped Cloud's grasp.

* * *

"Someone…" moaned Black Belt, "Get Astos…"

White Mage attempted using all the Cure magic she could possibly conjure up, but nothing seemed to work against a missing arm and a huge blood loss.

"I've…never felt so _helpless_," wailed White Mage.

"You could have at least lived as a prisoner if you hadn't come here, Prince Elf," said Astos, taunting Thief, "But now I'm afraid I must kill you."

From behind Astos, Fighter released a loud battle cry and withdrew all his swords, striking Astos down and releasing Thief.

"Well that was certainly anti-climatic," said Thief, "Nonetheless, it all works out for us."

"Now how about opening that bottle, Thief?" asked Black Mage.

"We need them where we want them," said Thief.

"Thief…" said Black Belt.

All the Light Warriors, plus Vivi and White Mage, looked down at Black Belt trying to speak.

"How long…does the spell take until…it begins?" asked Black Belt.

"Just under a minute," replied Thief, "Why?"

"Open the bottle," said Thief, "And give it to me…I'll keep Kary and Astos here so it can work."

"But Black Belt!" cried White Mage, "You'll die."

"I'm dying anyway," said Black Belt, "Might as well…finish them off as well."

Just as Cloud arrived back and saw what was going on, Thief opened the bottle. They could already begin feeling the chill from the bottle, and knew it wouldn't take long. Thief handed it to Black Belt and, with Cloud, all started to run away. White Mage began to look back, falling behind, just as Black Belt stood up in front of Astos and Kary, and looked to her.

"I've done my duty…" said Black Belt, "You do yours…Guide the Light Warriors…to their destiny…"

White Mage began to walk further while still looking at Black Belt when he said one last thing.

"One more thing…" said Black Belt, "I was to be…nothing more than your guardian…but I'm proud to call you…a true friend…"

That was all she needed to hear. He turned around, holding the open bottle, prepared to do one last heroic act.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	25. 25: Black Belt's Fate

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**The Disciplinary Committee - They consist of Seifer (the leader), Raijin, Fujin, and Vivi. They have been selected by the Dark Warriors to be part of their team in the annual ball game.**

**Hayner, Pence, and Olette - Their origins are not very well known, but their self-appointed leader (Hayner) has been at Seifer's throat for a long time, and has expressed interest in playing against them in the annual game.**

**Tifa- A free-spirited young woman who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.**

**Cloud – A dark young man who seems to be in search of someone.**

**Tidus – A young man who accompanies Tifa and Cloud, both of whom were dragged to Elfland by Prince Elf (aka Thief)**

**Kary- Fiend of Fire with six arms and a snake's lower body. She is conspiring with Astos in the depths of Mt. Gurgu.**

**Astos – Posed as the Supreme Chancellor of Elfland, but is actually the King of the Dark Elves, who is looking to take over Elfland.**

**Dr. Malpractice – The crooked doctor who has been overseeing the King's condition for the past year, and to a certain extent, helps the Chancellor (Astos) with his evil scheme.**

**Zell - The same idiot who helped Fighter and friends retrieve the Earth Orb has now accompanied them to Elfland**

**The Dwarves – A race of bearded men and the sworn enemies of the Elves due to the confusion of whom the Earth Orb really belongs to.**

**Rune – The Master Court Wizard and a close friend of the King of Elfland. **

* * *

If Astos had not known what the Blizzaga Level 100 spell could do, he would be laughing with Kary, but he wasn't. She underestimated something that was held inside a bottle.

"Well, at least I get to kill one of you," said Kary, glaring at Black Belt, "It's been entirely too long since I have."

"What matters is that the Light Warriors…fulfill their destiny…" said Black Belt, throwing the bottle towards them. Black Belt backed away a little bit, but couldn't really go far since he was so greatly injured. Astos attempted to make a run for it, knowing what could happen. Kary charged towards Black Belt, not realizing that everything in the cavern started to freeze. Her arms were succumbing to the ice shards growing on them, along with the rest of her body. Black Belt and Astos were also having ice shards grow on them. In a matter of time, they would all be frozen solid, which pretty much meant death.

Black Belt looked up prepared to meet whatever deity good souls were greeted by when they die. He knew he had made the ultimate sacrifice, and hoped to all things good that it would not be in vain.

When the Light Warriors and co. were far enough, they turned back to look at the mountain. Rune had not been exaggerating about its power. They soon saw frost coming through the rock of the volcano. From the inside, the lava turned to ice. Snow began to cover the volcano, turning it into a frosty mountain. Mt. Gurgu was now a non-active volcano.

"Poor Black Belt," said Red Mage, "It must be an incredible burden to forever remain frozen inside the bowels of Mt. Gurgu."

"Yeah, well, at least he took those jackasses Astos and Kary down with him," said Black Mage.

"You seem kinda happy for such a sad moment," said Fighter.

"Of course I am," retorted Black Mage, "Black Belt's dead, he took Astos and Kary down with him, and since we retrieved the Fire Orb without old "wet-ass" Sarda telling us to, we're bound to get some kind of big reward! It's a win-win for everyone!"

"You monster!" cried White Mage, "How can you speak that way of Black Belt? He gave his life so that you could live and fulfill your quest!"

"If you think about it, it's really _his_ fault," said Black Mage, "No one _told_ him to sacrifice himself, he just did."

White Mage already had her hands on her giant hammer, about ready to hit Black Mage.

"So now that the mission is over, we gonna make out or what?" asked Black Mage.

White Mage had enough. She began to chase Black Mage around with the hammer. Everyone else continued to travel back towards Elfland. Vivi and Fighter were starting to bond.

"Have I told you the _other_ 347 things I like about swords?" asked Fighter.

"That's a lot of reasons for something like that," said Vivi, humoring Fighter.

Thief and Red Mage happened to notice something was bugging Cloud. Although they could really care less, their curiosity got the best of them.

"What's eating you, man?" asked Thief.

Cloud looked to his right to see Thief asking his question. Red Mage was to his left with the same expression.

"I'm just planning ahead for what I need to do once we get back to Elfland," replied Cloud, deciding to talk to the two of them.

"What's there to plan?" asked Red Mage, "It's simple! We get back, get everyone else, find that deathtrap we got here in…"

"Or just get a _nicer_ ship," said Thief, interrupting Red Mage.

"Either way," continued Red Mage, "once we have a mode of transportation, we return the Fire Orb to the Academy where we will be hailed as heroes! I can hear the cries now! 'Yay, Red Mage!' 'Hooray for Red Mage!' 'You saved us all, Red Mage!'"

"Now I'm all about taking credit for things my subordinates do," said Thief, "But in this case, you did almost nothing worth bragging about. I'm pretty much the only one carrying the burdens of this mission…well, except maybe Black Belt, may he rest in peace."

"You all enjoy your victory," said Cloud, "I have other things to do."

"What else do you mean?" asked Red Mage.

"I have to leave the Academy for a while," said Cloud, "assuming I live to come back…though I don't plan on failing."

"Failing what?" asked Thief.

"I ran into the one I've been hunting for the past five years," explained Cloud, "And almost as quickly as I found him, he escaped…and he took someone I thought I lost those years ago…I can't rest knowing she's alive and in his clutches."

"Is _that_ where you were while we were fighting Kary?" asked Thief.

"I didn't even notice," said Red Mage.

"And that's why I'm the one considered team leader," said Thief.

"No need to brag about it, Thief," said Red Mage, "Why, I easily have as much leadership as you! I'm capable of leading the Light Warriors!"

"Care to make a wager?" asked Thief.

"What kind of wager are we talking?" asked Red Mage.

"I'll relieve myself of all leadership duties for ONE day," explained Thief, "If you can prove you can lead the team all by your onesy self, I'll…give you stat boosts."

"Awesome!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"But if you _can't_, and probably won't, your tax will go up from 10% to 25%," replied Thief.

"Tax?" asked Cloud.

"He charges us tax for every time we earn gold," said Red Mage.

"I also have first dibs on any treasures we find," added Thief.

"It's all in that contact Fighter signed," said Red Mage.

"Rrright," said a confused Cloud.

* * *

It wasn't long before the Light Warriors and co. returned to their guest rooms in stately Elf Castle. By this time, Hayner, Pence, Olette, and the Disciplinary Committee (along with Tifa, Zell, and Tidus), started to wake up after the effects of the Sleep spell wore off. They thought they were just naturally waking up, but it took an explanation from Vivi and Black Mage to convince them of what really happened.

"You put us under a Sleep spell?" asked Seifer.

"You used magic on us and didn't include us in your plans?" asked Zell.

"Rotten," said Fujin.

"Yeah, that's not cool, y'know?" said Raijin.

"Well we needed to do this with as little setbacks as possible," said White Mage, "Too many people would be unnecessary."

"And why exactly did Vivi get to go?" asked Hayner.

"Because he knows Sleep spells, so he's unable to be affected by it," replied Black Mage, "I'm just glad I was able to remind you all about that interesting little tidbit."

"_You're_ the one who _forgot_ that interesting little tidbit," said Thief, to which everyone else laughed.

"Remind me to stab you once we get back to the Academy," said Black Mage.

"Yeah, speaking of which," said Pence, "How are we gonna get back there?"

"I doubt we can use the same ship we came here in," replied Tifa.

"I'm sure I can convince the Royal Guards to find some mode of transportation for us," said Thief.

"Oh yeah, you're the Prince around here," said Hayner, just remembering who Thief actually was.

"I still don't get that," said Tidus, scratching his head.

"Then you must bleed," said Black Mage, unsheathing his blade.

"You always say that to everyone, Black Mage," said Fighter.

"No I don't," replied Black Mage, "Those were completely different words."

"Well where did Cloud go?" asked Tifa.

"He's getting some kind of map to do some hunting," replied Thief.

"He's going after a guy with a really damn long sword," said Fighter, "He may have the longer sword, but I have the knowledge of sword-chuckery!"

"Sword-chuckery?" asked Black Mage, "Dammit Fighter, at least come up with a better name for you inane technique?"

"Well ok, so that's Cloud," said Olette, "But where's Black Belt?"

The room suddenly fell silent. The Light Warriors and Vivi all looked down to the ground. The long, awkward silence told everyone else exactly what they dreaded hearing.

* * *

Rune and the other Court Wizards used all the magic they could conjure to make the Elf Cruiser fully operational again, no matter how damaged it appeared on the outside.

"This should safely get you back to the Academy, Prince Elf," said Rune, "It's a shame we couldn't help your Black Belt friend."

"Can we just go now?" shouted Black Mage, "This whole country stinks of elf!"

"Well Corneria stinks of humans!" Thief shouted back.

"And of Black Mage!" exclaimed Fighter.

Everyone (including Rune and excluding Black Mage) found this to be humorous and took time to laugh.

"That's it!" shouted Black Mage, "Another Hadoken coming up!"

Suddenly, Black Mage fell face first to the ground, carried onto the ship by Fighter.

"Was that a Sleep spell?" asked Thief, "I thought those who could cast it were untouchable by it."

"Ordinarily so," replied Rune, "But our magic is a step above his."

"Not surprising," said Thief, "I'll return to Elfland with an antidote for my father as soon as I can!"

"Godspeed, Prince Elf!" shouted Rune.

Rune and the Court Wizards continue to wave at the ship as it took off from Elfland back towards the Academy. Somewhere not far from there, in the cloudy mist of the cliffs outside Mt. Gurgu, someone else watched the Elf Cruiser fly off. A fit man who had been to Hell and back, despite his frozen assets. It can't be said for sure who he was, except that it his shady appearance through the mist made him appear as if he was from the Great Beyond…

"I'll be back", he said.

* * *

**To be continued in the next arc...**


	26. 26: The Time for Cleansing

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Sorry about the long wait, but the new story arc is finally about to begin. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own 8 Bit Theater or Final Fantasy**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

* * *

**Day 51**

The week did not start off as well as one would imagine. Ordinarily, people would be in classes, be it in the Combat area or the Magic area. Instead, at this time, all of 8 Bit Academy was gathered around on a rainy, gloomy morning in a large field, standing before a large, golden altar with a portrait of Black Belt in his signature pose sitting atop it. Sarda stood by the altar, his head and perfectly groomed moustache covered from the rain by his red hood, prepared to give a eulogy from the Principal.

"We are gathered here today to mourn the untimely death of our classmate, student, and friend Black Belt," said Sarda, "who was tragically frozen to death."

"Courtesy of Thief," muttered Black Mage, who was standing right next to Thief.

"He _chose_ to do that himself," whispered Thief.

"If you think about it," whispered Black Mage in reply, "It's really _his_ fault."

"Both of you shut up," hissed White Mage, who was standing behind them, "show some respect."

Contrary to her name, White Mage was wearing black for the occasion. In fact, everyone except Sarda was wearing some form of dark clothing. Even Fighter's armor was black.

"The Principal could not be here today, since he is dealing with grave matters in regards to Black Belt's death," said Sarda, "So he has contributed to these final words I give him…"

As Sarda went on, it became more noticeable that others were suddenly fearful of the future. Zell was crying like a baby in the back row; Tidus and Wakka would not stop shaking; the Disciplinary Committee started moving closer to each other, since there was now the fear of being alone; Hayner and Pence were both choking up, while Olette and Tifa already had tears rolling down their cheeks. And this was only the beginning of the day.

Besides the Principal, there was one other person who had not been at the funeral…the P.E teacher Squall Leonhart, or simply Leon. He was discussing important matters in regards to Black Belt with the most unlikely of Sages…a small, purple mouse by the name of Torte, who worked outside of the Academy.

"So Black Belt's really dead, huh?" wondered Torte, smoking a large pipe.

"Many think that this throws everything out of balance," said Leon, sitting back in his chair, "But the Principal and Sarda disagree."

"Why is that?" asked Torte.

"They said it was fate that Black Belt died," replied Leon, "But even if they're right, we can't continue our work until he is replaced."

"He can't _be_ replaced," said Torte, "He was one of a kind."

"That much is true," said Leon in agreement, "But we need someone to at least take his position among the Order if we're going to continue."

"You mean you haven't heard about that big fancy meeting?" asked Torte, "Everyone from the Order's gonna be there this afternoon."

"I was aware of that," said Leon, "That's _why_ we need to find a new member."

"Can't we discuss that _at_ the meeting?" asked Torte.

"No time," replied Leon, "From what I hear, something very important is going to be discussed at this meeting. There won't be time to discuss who should replace Black Belt."

"Fair enough," said Torte, "But that still leaves the simple question of _who_ should replace him."

* * *

Outside the Academy, shortly after the funeral, everyone was starting to head home since classes were cancelled that day.

"Under different circumstances," said Red Mage, "I guess it would be a good thing to have a day off from classes."

"I'm sorry to tell you boys that you're not quite finished yet," said Sarda, who had appeared behind the Light Warriors.

"Great, it's old Wet-Ass Sarda coming to give us another grand quest," whined Black Mage.

Suddenly, and without warning, Black Belt started moaning and holding his head with both his hands, and started mumbling.

"What did you do to him?" asked Thief.

"Oh, I just scrambled his particles around a bit and temporarily froze time for a brief second except for himself," replied Sarda, "That should give him a painful migraine for a while."

"And what did you mean by 'not finished yet'?" asked Red Mage.

"The Principal and I have located the remaining two Orbs of Light," replied Sarda, "However, I cannot send you to find them until you have each completed a ritual of cleansing."

"Cleansing?" asked Thief.

"To take a step closer to truly becoming the Light Warriors," replied Sarda.

"Sounds like an excuse to go questing if you ask me," said Red Mage, "And I like it!"

"Except you, Fighter," said Sarda, "I need you to come with me to somewhere very important."

"Wait, what?" wondered Black Mage, "Why does Fighter get to skip out on this lame 'cleansing' quest?"

"Hey, more experience for us!" exclaimed Red Mage.

"As for you three," said Sarda, "There's someone waiting outside the entrance gates who will guide you further on your quest."

"Who?" asked Thief.

* * *

Outside the gates, there was not just one person waiting, but two. Both Selphie and Irvine were waiting for them outside the gates….well, not exactly waiting. More like on top of each other making out while waiting for the Light Warriors. Irvine's long blonde hair and pretty boy face made him easy to differentiate from the other guys, but if Selphie had not been wearing her usual attire, it would be hard to tell it was her.

"Oh," said Selphie, suddenly blushing, "I didn't know you'd be here so soon."

"_Soon_?" asked Black Mage, "It took us half an hour to walk 30 feet just because dumb Red Mage had to 'use the bathroom'."

"Hey, wearing +20 G-Strings of Charisma can be a pain, especially when you have little time to adjust to them," retorted Red Mage.

"Especially if it _still_ doesn't help your charisma," said Thief.

Suddenly laughing a bit, Black Mage said to Thief, "I'll give you that one."

"In any case," said Irvine, loading a gunblade, "Selphie and I, along with a couple others, are escorting you to the Castle of Ordeals."

"Couple others?" asked Thief, "Who else is going with us?"

No sooner did he say that when two figures emerged from the front gates, prepared to travel to the Castle of Ordeals. The one on the left was Terra Branford, coming out with her fashionable red boots and flower stockings. Although she had no magic (at least not anymore), she still had a small dagger on her belt and a knife strapped to her thighs (the smallest area that wasn't covered). The one on the right was Zack, who was already holding onto his long blade, having just sharpened it.

"Is this all of us?" asked Terra.

"What about Fighter?" asked Zack, "Isn't he one of you guys?"

"Sarda has him doing something else," replied Red Mage.

"So if this is all of us, I guess we had better start moving," said Irvine.

The Light Warriors (minus Fighter) followed Irvine, Selphie, Zack, and Terra off campus and towards the Castle of Ordeals.

* * *

And where has Sarda gone with Fighter? To a large and overwhelming cathedral not far from the Academy. Fighter looked up at the circular columns surrounding it and was almost blinded by the reflection coming off of the large stain glass window at the top. Sarda and Fighter were greeted by Leon and Torte at the front.

"Awww, what a cute little mouse!" exclaimed Fighter.

"This 'cute little mouse' is gonna shrink you to the size of a peanut if you keep patronizing him," said Torte.

"You'll have to excuse him," said Sarda, "While physically overpowering, he is not quite there."

"Quite where?" asked Fighter.

"Never mind," replied Sarda, "Let's just head inside."

While Torte got in front of Fighter to lead them, Leon stayed further behind to converse quietly with Sarda.

"Are you sure he's the one?" asked Leon.

"He's the only one of the Light Warriors with authentic enthusiasm to be a hero of justice just for the goodness of others," replied Sarda, "Seeing as the others have their own agendas, they don't match the qualifications."

"But he doesn't seem…smart enough to be among the Order," said Leon.

"Nonetheless," replied Sarda, "The Principal himself asked for Fighter to be presented to him first."

"The Principal is going to be here?" asked Leon.

"He already is here, and he must be getting impatient waiting for us," replied Sarda.

"But he never makes public appearances! He's either in the shadows or sending a representative!" exclaimed Leon.

"Black Belt's death has influenced him to make an exception this time," said Sarda, "Besides, I'm sure much of your curiosity as to the Principal's identity is at it's wits end."

The four of them entered ridiculously large golden doors that were at the end of the marble-floored hallways into the circular chamber that was the meeting room for the Order. Representatives had the lowest seats around a circle, higher ranking members were sitting higher, depending on importance, and at the highest seat was where the Principal (or his representative) would sit.

And for the first time in a long time, the Principal was there in full person. No representatives. No cloaks or shadows to hide himself in. The entire Order, or at least the ones currently present, finally saw who their unanimous leader truly is.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	27. 27: Weird Philosophy Questions

**Hey guys, it's me, The Goon. This is so far one of my favorite chapters, because it reveals the Principal's identity, introduces a new mystery figure, and focuses heavily on the future outlook of this fanfic. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**Squall Leonhart – Otherwise known as Leon, he is the phys ed instructor at the Academy, and also a semi-high-ranking member of the Order of 8 Bit and Co. **

**Torte – A small, purple mouse who had once been a real boy, but was still a powerful mage. He is more or less Leon's equal as far as rankings in the Order.**

**Irvine**** – A pretty boy who attends the Academy, and seems to be currently dating Selphie. He is one of four students that lead the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals.**

**Selphie – She is often regarded as one of the Academy's finest ladies, and Irvine happens to be the lucky dog dating her. One of four students leading the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals.**

**Terra Branford – She was formerly a powerful esper, but while she was able to keep her life, she had lost her magic. One of four students leading the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals. **

**Zach – Almost like Fighter as far as personality and interests, except a little brighter and more reliable. One of four students leading the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals.**

* * *

The members of the Order of 8 Bit and Co. had never actually seen their leader in person, let alone at a meeting, but a select few such as Sarda and King Steve had known his identity.

Yep, King Steve was also in the Order.

"Did I ever tell you about how I built this entire cathedral by hand?" asked King Steve, who was sitting in one of the chairs in between his daughter Sara and his right-hand man Gary.

"Dad, this cathedral has been around for nearly a century," replied an agitated Sara.

"Yes, I built it that way, you know!" exclaimed King Steve, completely ignoring the obvious.

"Sir, it appears that one of the Light Warriors is kneeling before the Principal," said Gary.

"What?" shouted King Steve, "How dare he not bow before his absolutely perfect king!"

"Dad, you're not perfect, and there's a better reason to why he's kneeling," replied Sara, "That's his old master."

Before everyone's eyes, Fighter had rushed forward and kneeled down. He could probably hurt his neck by looking up without sitting on the higher chairs, so he was perfectly fine with kneeling before the chair of his old master.

"Master Vargus!" exclaimed Fighter, "It is an honor to be in your presence!"

"It's been quite some time since I saw you last," replied Vargus, sitting atop his high chair, "Have you kept up on whatever training I gave you?"

"I eat it for breakfast!" shouted Fighter in excitement, "And then a little for a snack…but it has a really bad aftertaste. Tastes like varnish. Not too many people know that."

"Forget I asked," said Vargus, making a facepalm, "Let's just proceed with this meeting. You'll know why you were brought here shortly."

There were several members of the Order of 8 Bit and Co., and it would take too much space to go into them all in full detail. The important ones that have direct ties to the Academy, however, are worth discussing:

Obviously, as Principal of the Academy, Vargus was the head of the Order, and in the chairs directly next to both of his sides, sat Sarda, obviously the Vice Principal of the Academy, and also Kuja, who was the Secretary of Financial Affairs. To the surprise of many, he had long since reformed his evil ways before entering the Academy, and eventually becoming an alumnus. Of course the Order needed someone on the Big Three to represent the "Co." part of "Order of 8 Bit and Co.", otherwise it would just be "8 Bit". Despite reforming and being granted amnesty, Kuja still kept many of his personality traits…mainly his narcissism and flamboyant attitude, not to mention attire.

Leon obviously had a high seat, with Torte having a comfortable chair specially made for his small size…right on the armrest of Leon's chair. Not too far from them was the young and charismatic Zidane. His rivalry with Kuja had been known for a long time, although it became friendlier over the years. Still, it doesn't mean Zidane hasn't had issues with Kuja being the 3rd most influential figure in the Order. Although he had once led a party against Kuja prior to his amnesty, he had become more ambitious and somewhat sinister over the years. Only he wasn't Academy Alumni, rather one of the few who oversaw the creation of the plot of land the Academy was established on. And there were more than a few scandals following his tailbone, particularly one about embezzling money, but no one among the living really talked about that anymore.

Cecil, a rather tall soldier with long white hair, and Kain, another soldier wearing dark armor, presided over their area of the order. Having a long and complicated history, the two were recruited by the Order to oversee the safety of the Academy, as well as deal with the importing and exporting resources for the nation, especially the ones coming from the Moon where Cecil's brother Golbez found new resources. Golbez himself was not part of the Order…he just did his job as the guy who brings Moon resources to Earth.

Cid Highwind was the head of the engineering classes at the Academy, and although he was only a representative, he was still highly regarded among the Order due to the fact that he represents The Will of Cid (basically the group that all the Cids in the world are categorized under). Several Moogles also consisted of the Representatives section, as well as several others.

"If we are all present, I would like to call to order our first impending matter," said Vargus.

It was only after that first sentence that someone else stood up to speak. That someone was Kain.

"If it pleases the Order, may I suggest we know what brings you here in person?" asked Kain.

There was slight murmuring amongst the others. No one had ever presented a separate issue right before the seemingly most important one was presented.

"Oh, come on," said Kain, "None of you are curious why the leader of the Order is here himself? As opposed to hiding in the shadows or sending a spokesperson in his place?"

"Perhaps if you learned to think before you act or speak," said Sarda, "You would have deducted that the reason for Vargus to appear in person is because the situation at hand is _very_ critical."

"Critical hardly covers it," added Vargus, "My fellow comrades of the Order, I regret to inform you that we may be facing the end times. As you know, the Light Warriors have been chosen by Fate to combat the evil that threatens our way of life, and to destroy the greatest form of that evil, which you may all know as Lord Chaos."

"How close to the end are you suggesting?" asked Kuja.

"I fear it may be within a number of days," replied Vargus.

"That depends on how Chaos plays his cards," said Cecil, "If he wanted to, he could send all the Legions of Hell to our realm and have it polluted with darkness in a matter of hours."

"Not necessarily," said Vargus, "While Chaos could send servants to do his dirty work, Chaos himself cannot walk in our realm without a host to allow him to do so."

"A host?" several others asked.

"A human being in our realm is the ideal host for Chaos to control," said Vargus.

"But how are we supposed to prevent that?" asked Kain.

"That depends on the amount of intelligence we can uncover within what little time we have," said Vargus, "You seen, it would appear that Chaos has already selected beforehand who his host will be."

Stares and gasps of confusion went around the room. The thought of someone being predetermined to be possessed by the Great King of Demons was rather horrifying. Sarda, however, did not seem overly fazed, and began to explain a remedy for that.

"However," said Sarda, "Once we have all four Light Orbs and restore them to their original state of purity, even Chaos will not stand a chance against the Light Warriors."

There wasn't much more to add to that discussion. The matter of dealing with Chaos when he arrives seemed to be dealt with. Sarda then announced the next order of business.

"Moving right along," said Sarda, clearing his throat and giving his long moustache a slight tug, "As you all are no doubt aware, there has been an untimely death among the Order."

All eyes were pointed towards the empty seat somewhere in the middle of the room (middle meaning height, not literally the middle of the chambers, which was where Fighter had been sitting in the center of everyone).

"Black Belt, one of the greatest students of the Wu Xia arts, sacrificed his own life so that the Light Warriors could reclaim the Fire Orb," said Sarda, "Now, while his death is very tragic, we still have business to conduct. First of which is to discuss who will replace him."

Sarda cleared his throat once more before continuing.

"As you are also no doubt aware, Fighter here is one of the Light Warriors," said Sarda, "He is one of the few who could be considered a likely candidate to take Black Belt's place among the order…if he passes the test."

"A test?" asked Fighter, "Aw, nerts. I never liked written assignments."

"Then you're in luck, Fighter," said Vargus, "Because it is merely a few questions that we will ask you right now."

"Oh," said Fighter, "Well, bring it on then!"

Kuja asked the first question, which was "Who was the founding father of the Order of 8 Bit and Co?" It was essentially one of the more important questions as it dealt with the Order's history. Fighter easily answered, "Mouri of the Sky!"

Sarda asked the next question, which was "Prior to Lord Chaos, who was the Order's great nemesis?" Most of that history had been forgotten, if not completely untold, by the younger generation, but Fighter knew just enough to answer "Sin!"

The process continued for a short time. The questions were mainly related to history and some rather common knowledge.

"You're almost done, Fighter," said Vargus, "I myself will ask you the final question."

"I'm ready for it!" exclaimed an eager Fighter.

"How many schools of Kenshido are there?" asked Vargus.

Fighter paused in his thoughts, and the room went utterly silent.

"This one again?" asked Fighter, "That's easy! There are 12!"

"How many?" Vargus asked once more.

"12!" replied Fighter, "One for each Zodiac sign. Given more time and a few hints, I could probably name them all for you."

Vargus did nothing more than a facepalm. A rather disappointed one. Once again, Fighter had failed a simple test just with that one question.

"You're not ready," said Vargus silently, "Even after all this time, you still don't know the answer to that question."

"Did I pass?" asked Fighter.

"If you knew the answer to my last question, you would have," replied Vargus, "But not only are you not ready to be in the Order, you _still_ don't know the true meaning of being a swordsman. Until you answer that question, you will still have one vital flaw."

"Aw, nerts," said a disappointed Fighter, "My life's dreams ruined once again by some weird philosophy question."

"Well now what?" asked Kuja, "If he doesn't qualify, this meeting might as well have been for nothing."

"It seems as though no one is fit to replace Black Belt," said Vargus.

"Yeah, probably," said Fighter in agreement, "Except for that Replica of Black Belt."

"What did you say?" asked Vargus.

"I said Black Belt's Replica!" replied Fighter.

"Oh yes," said Sarda, clearing his throat, "I must confess that it had slipped my mind to use his own Replica to replace the original."

Vargus sat deep in thought as though he was considering. It seemed to be the only option.

"You're not serious?" asked a confused Kuja.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


	28. 28: The Joys of a New Quest

**Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. chapter 28 is now up for your enjoyment.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas and he White Mage and Black Belt Replicas)**

**Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.**

**Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest**

**Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day**

**Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else**

**Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics**

**White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies**

**The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas**

**Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by the Light Warriors as a jackass**

**Vargus – Fighter's old swords master, the head of the Order of 8 Bit and Co., and recently revealed as the mysterious Principal of the Academy.**

**The Dark Warriors - Consists of Garland, Bikke, Drizz'l, and Vilbert von Vampire. They are regular students at the Academy, but spend much time plotting against the Light Warriors.**

**The White Mage and Black Belt Replicas - They go by Rebecca (White Mage Replica) and Jared (Black Belt Replica), and like the Light Warrior Replicas, Sarda created them for reasons unknown.**

**Squall Leonhart – Otherwise known as Leon, he is the phys ed instructor at the Academy, and also a semi-high-ranking member of the Order of 8 Bit and Co. **

**Torte – A small, purple mouse who had once been a real boy, but was still a powerful mage. He is more or less Leon's equal as far as rankings in the Order.**

**Kuja – Having reformed from his evil ways, Kuja graduated from the Academy and is now the Secretary of Financial Affairs, the 3rd most influential position in the Order**

**Zidane – Once a hero who had fought against Kuja, he has since become more sinister and scheming during his time in the Order**

**Cecil – A bold hero from ages past that has overseen management of the Academy**

**Kain – A close ally of Cecil who is in charge of security of the Academy as well as territory surrounding it**

**Cid Highwind – Though he is only a representative, he is held in high regard as one of the Will of Cid.**

**Irvine**** – A pretty boy who attends the Academy, and seems to be currently dating Selphie. He is one of four students that lead the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals.**

**Selphie – She is often regarded as one of the Academy's finest ladies, and Irvine happens to be the lucky dog dating her. One of four students leading the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals.**

**Terra Branford – She was formerly a powerful esper, but while she was able to keep her life, she had lost her magic. One of four students leading the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals. **

**Zach – Almost like Fighter as far as personality and interests, except a little brighter and more reliable. One of four students leading the Light Warriors to the Castle of Ordeals.**

* * *

"So there's actually a Black Belt Replica out there?" asked Zidane, "I can only assume there are Replicas of the Light Warriors as well?"

"And also White Mage," replied Sarda.

"Intriguing," said Zidane, rubbing his chin.

"Do you actually intend to place this Replica among our ranks?" asked Kuja.

"It's the closest we'll ever get to have the real Black Belt on board," replied Vargus, in full agreement with Sarda, "We shall send a small task force to locate the Replica and bring him back here. See if he's actually _interested_ in joining the Order."

"And if he's not?" asked Kuja.

"Then it will be a simple matter for me to rearrange his entire being to _make_ him want to join the Order," replied Sarda, cracking his old, yet sturdy knuckles.

"I think it's safe to appoint Fighter as a part of this small band," said Vargus, "And I think Leon and Torte would be wise to accompany him as well."

Leon and Torte nodded their heads, fully prepared to accept the mission.

"Perhaps I can tag along as well?" asked Zidane.

While some members of the Order were surprised by this seemingly noble gesture, Kuja just glared in his direction. Over the years, it was not in Zidane's interest to help someone without getting something out of it.

"I suppose it will be the four of you, then," said Vargus, "And Fighter?"

Fighter looked up at Vargus to await his final statement.

"While you're out there, think hardly about that question I've been asking you over the years," Vargus said, "The answer will make you a true swordsman."

* * *

Meanwhile the rest of the Light Warriors were led by a small group consisting of Irvine, Selphie, Terra, and Zach through a small forest, where they eventually saw the Castle of Ordeals overhead. Past the brown, dirty trail leading out of the forest led to the large stone castle that was covered in ivy. So old, in fact, that theoretically, one could climb on the ivy as if it were a ladder. Sadly, since there were no openings large enough for an average human on the top, climbing on the ivy would be pointless.

"So this is the Castle of Ordeals that Old Wet-Ass was telling us about," said Black Mage.

"What kind of cleansing could we _possibly_ experience here?" asked Red Mage, obviously expecting something more.

"Don't ask us," replied Zach, "We're just your escorts. You three are the only ones going inside."

"And what will _you_ be doing during that time?" asked Black Mage.

"_We_ will be guarding the front gate, in case someone or something decides to attack," replied Zach.

"In the scenario that this happens, we'll be ready for them," added Terra, getting her weapons ready.

"Will _they_ be of any use to you?" asked Thief.

Thief had been referring to Selphie and Irvine, who were over in the corner with their hands on each other's waists, staring into each others eyes while talking romantically towards one another. However, Selphie was wearing Irvine's cowboy hat, and her unusually long nunchucks were around Irvine's neck, as if to pull him closer to her.

"If you two are done playing patty-cake with your tongues," said an irritated Terra, "We have a job to do here."

"Relax," said Irvine, "My hands are quick enough to draw these guns out if anything decides to attack us. We'll be fine."

"Besides, we won't _need_ to protect the front gate if the Light Warriors aren't inside," said Selphie.

"Fine," replied Black Mage, "We're going in. But know that once we're through with whatever is in store for us in there, your lives will instantly become forfeit."

The three Light Warriors present (obviously minus Fighter) opened the rusty front gate, shutting it behind them as they prepared to face the cleansing rituals that Sarda spoke of.

"You really think something would come out all the way here to attack the Light Warriors?" asked Selphie.

"I don't think they have specific targets," replied Zach, polishing his blade, "Monsters in these parts tend to kill indiscriminately."

"So _those_ things are just here for a midday snack, then?" asked Terra.

Dark creatures were emerging from the woods. Some were werewolves, others large or small demons, though all of them had red eyes and a nasty growling sound emerging from their mouths. But perhaps the most unusual among this horde was the hooded figure that stood in the middle, who was average height and completely shrouded in a brownish-green cloak.

"Perfect timing," said Irvine, putting both hands on his guns.

Acting solely on instincts, Irvine pulled both triggers rapidly while aiming at the hooded figure…but all of them were deflected and instead went through some of the monsters surrounding him.

"What the hell?" asked Irvine, "I was aiming right at him!"

"I guess that definitely means he's their leader," said Zach.

"Go on, scram!" shouted Terra.

"Just leave us alone!" cried Selphie.

They all halted for some reason. Most others saw nothing strange about that. Terra, however, started putting her hands to her head. Someone, presumably the hooded figure, was sending messages inside her head. Displaying images while speaking to her.

"_**Turn back while you can**_," the hooded figure telepathically told Terra.

The hooded figure then started to flash images of several buildings on fire, with Black Mage standing in the center.

"_**If you continue your path on the light**_," the hooded figure's voice continued to say, "_**You will surely write your own demise**_**.**"

Another image flashed inside Terra's head, this time of a giant dragon on a large island in the sky, which was bringing large storms down on the earth.

"_**Only in the darkness can you see the truth. The darkness can show you the meaning of true power. The darkness will shape your reality to what it truly should be.**_"

The hooded figure stretched his right arm out, pointing at Terra.

"_**If you choose to stay in the light, then you are sealing your own doom. If you do not stray from the light, you will perish in the fires of Chaos. You will be punished by the mightiest of demons, raped by the lowest Halfling, and your offspring cursed. You have been warned.**_"

As quickly as he had arrived, the hooded figure and his horde of monsters vanished with a mere snap of his fingers. All that was left was black and red mist which slowly disintegrated into the air.

"What was that?" asked Selphie.

"They just showed up and left without a fight?" asked Irvine.

"That's not what they were here for," said Terra.

Her energy had been drained from the mental stress of talking telepathically to the hooded figure. She thought this was no longer possible for her since she no longer had magic.

"Then what _were_ they here for?" asked Zach.

"I don't think they were even here," replied Terra, "Whoever, or whatever, the hooded figure was…he was flashing images in my head…threatening me if I don't turn to the darkness."

"Wait," said Selphie, "That hooded guy _talked_ to you?"

"Yeah," replied Terra, "But I'm not supposed to have magic anymore. How did he do that?"

"Wonder if it has anything to do with what's inside this castle?" wondered Irvine.

* * *

Inside the castle, Thief, Black Mage, and Red Mage walked down the dark, candle-lit hallways covered in moss to the main chamber, which surprisingly had a good amount of light in it (most likely because of the natural sunlight coming in through the stain-glass windows). All the walls were made of dark brick, but several carpets were still intact. Clean up the dust and it would actually make a nice summer home.

"What exactly are we supposed to be looking for in this god-forsaken castle anyway?" asked Black Mage.

"Sarda wasn't too specific about the details," replied Thief, "All he said was that it would put us through a ritual of cleansing."

"If I know my side-quest adventuring, and I'm pretty sure I do," said Red Mage, "I'd say we'd have to go further into the castle."

"Yeah, no shit," said Black Mage, "But there are three other doors. Which do we take?"

"I suppose we could split up and each of us take one door," replied White Mage, "I'm sure we're capable of handling ourselves for a while."

"I'll take the one on the left," said Thief, "I'm pretty sure I can smell treasure at the end of its halls."

"You can _smell_ treasure?" asked Red Mage.

"I'm a Thief," replied Thief, "We're supposed to be able to."

"I'll take the middle one," said Red Mage, "It's most likely the one that will take us to our destination."

"I guess by default, then, I'll take the door on the right," said Black Mage.

"But what if we don't make it back alive?" asked Red Mage.

"Then it will be a pity that Fighter wasn't here to join us in our deaths," replied Black Mage.

A moment of awkward silence later, the three split up and entered the three doors that they said they would take, unaware of the trials that they would encounter.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**~The Goon~**


End file.
